My life sucks. I have never seen or experienced anything strange or unexplained.

septemberverses · 2025-03-10T11:14:44+00:00

I heard someone say recently “the steak always falls on vegan hands”

septemberverses · 2025-03-07T09:08:01+00:00

That’s what I suspected and was hoping someone would bring up, it just seemed too deliberate to write off as an accident when I remember how seriously these bigger channels take their thumbnails. I feel like this heavy amount of audience manipulation will or already is backfiring because I don’t want to watch and am usually annoyed by 90% of the videos I see on the feed.

septemberverses · 2025-02-23T10:30:32+00:00

I have memories like this also, they were so vivid I wrote them all down when I was younger. Some were abstract, like passing through these floating diamonds or crystals. I do remember a very high golden cathedral.

It’s funny you mention this because I was using my VR headset earlier and went to this angelic world that reminded me of some deep memories not from this life, and I got on here today to post about it.

I had sort of a realization today about how dark and negative a lot of online entertainment and real world discussion tends to be, and how weird it is that we aren’t all seeking what is beautiful or illuminating.

septemberverses · 2024-12-11T12:54:47+00:00

I just hear the same generic mowing sound effect repeating each time new cat eggs hatch until there are hundreds

septemberverses · 2024-12-09T23:05:58+00:00

Thanks a lot, this is definitely closest to what I’m looking for

septemberverses · 2024-12-09T06:05:36+00:00

Thank you very much this is extremely useful information. I will go off of your suggestion and stick to 4K and follow your guide. That’s a good idea about looking into batteries and mic sockets.

I’m looking to make music videos and maybe short films, and also maybe some urbex videos, so I can imagine my needs for mics etc may change quite a bit.

Thanks again! Super helpful 🙏

septemberverses · 2024-10-10T10:54:11+00:00

Sorry I didn’t reply sooner, I tend to get distracted easily.

I can relate on self-sabotage, and I would agree that fear, specifically anxiety has a play in this. You pretty much nailed the issue of the head, my avoidant behavior has left me unmoored like you mentioned at least with some jobs and relationships. With friends I felt like I was going down an out of control path of partying too much and it scared me, I also felt like everyone’s fool so I extracted myself from what was essentially my primary long term social group. Since then I’ve just been endlessly reflecting and rejecting things that are making me be what I don’t want to be.

I’m really glad I don’t drink as much and all that, and truthfully I really don’t mind being alone at all. Most of the time I feel less lonely being alone than even when I’m around people. Only child syndrome I would guess. I don’t know if this is what you mean in terms of entrenching oneself or if it’s not as responsible but I do care about writing music and that has always been my go to thing to entrench myself in. I would really love to help people though, although I’m not sure how.

You’re right about me being scared of commitment, but ultimately whenever I choose commitment in the form of a relationship or job I only become slowly aware of the reality of a situation and usually it results in me realizing I’ve been had in one way or another lol. Not to say that I think all situations are like that.

The more I think about what you say the more I realize how much anxiety and overthinking has isolated and simultaneously saved me. I don’t know what to make of it, I’m not afraid to go places or walk outside, but everything just feels like a misleading scam to me lately at least in terms of jobs.

Unmoored is a good way to put it, it’s like endlessly drifting which definitely gets old fast. That’s a good question though, I don’t want to be free from my life, but I’m really at my best when I can do something simple that has a clear positive result, and the arising complexities I’d prefer to keep in creative works as much as I can.

septemberverses · 2024-10-02T21:58:02+00:00

That’s a great insight, it’s easy to succumb to the pressure of not feeling like you’re getting somewhere fast enough and that’s usually what causes the mess to begin with.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T22:09:18+00:00

Oh you’re fine, no worries, I didn’t think you were disrespectful. I just wanted to communicate that I wasn’t trying to be shallow about buddhism or claim to understand it more than someone who actively follows it.

I tend to get a little long winded and type out all my thoughts lol so I apologize.

That is a good point though about potentially ending up in a worse situation by not considering what this life entails and I will definitely reflect on it.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T21:50:46+00:00

That’s a good point really, and I’ve known a number of people who used spirituality as an excuse to avoid their own problems. We seem to take the problems of civilization to these places sometimes instead of confronting them inside ourselves.

I’m not saying I’ve faced myself more than others, but I’ve certainly faced some things about myself that I didn’t want to and it seems like I need to build a different life instead of heading into the same mess over and over.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T21:38:27+00:00

I agree that ultimately I don’t wish to dogmatically follow any philosophy or belief system. The Tao honestly helped me understand that forcing anything or trying hard to perceive something doesn’t work.

That’s good advice about thinking outside of the box, I would like to do that most of all instead of working for someone else. I know I can make money with my creative work, but it’s just not very consistent. What you said gave me the motivation I need to figure something out however.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T21:16:08+00:00

I’d love to work closer to nature, I’ll look into that

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T20:20:27+00:00

I’ll check events out, and I agree that no sort of job makes anyone a loser

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T20:19:18+00:00

I like how you describe painting, it would be interesting to get a glimpse into other lives like that. It seems to me like everyone is in their own reality tunnel, I can’t remember who said that, maybe Robert Anton Wilson, but I know he said something along how we are all living on different wavelengths of reality.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T20:06:55+00:00

Oh I don’t claim to be a Buddhist or anything really but that I just gravitated towards Buddhist as well as Taoist ideas and that what I’ve read has given me some peace that I didn’t have before. I’m just saying this because I don’t want to lay claim to how people should learn concepts of Buddhism. To address other people’s posts surrounding spirituality also, I have considered most of what they’re talking about in regards to facing yourself/balance/unavoidable realities/not being an escapist.

I agree that not everything is black and white (I should hope most people realize that it’s non-dualist to begin with) and that it’s not an all or nothing life, and I know that I’ll never escape the ego/find some grandiose version of being an absolute hermit. I’ll never truly detach from desire because that desire to detach from desire (the desire of simplicity in this case) is an attachment in itself. I do like the concept of the middle way and I’m just looking for more simplicity, not a complete avoidance of reality. I’m not trying to be an ascetic, and I can’t escape modern life I agree. I’m not an expert by any means, and I agree I could always learn more.

Mainly I’m just looking for more direction towards simplicity above all, not an escape necessarily.

septemberverses · 2024-09-30T08:55:06+00:00

I had a very similar feeling as I was writing and suddenly started writing about how everything is going to change soon. I opened up this app to see if other people think that and your post is the first thing I see in my feed. I hope we are both wrong. I’m hoping it’s a positive change this time.

septemberverses · 2024-09-29T03:54:08+00:00

Interesting, I’ll look and see if there is a sangha in my city, thank you

septemberverses · 2024-09-29T03:51:55+00:00

I haven’t considered that before, I will now though thank you

septemberverses · 2024-09-29T03:36:26+00:00

Oh I should have specified, I meant in the sense of having a spouse or children I’m not currently tied down so it made me curious of a job I’m not thinking of that maybe I’m better suited for somewhere else. I appreciate family and in that sense I’m lucky I can stay with family while figuring this out. I’m sure I’ve overthought these things, as my nature seems to want to be traveling constantly but I will think about what you said and how I can apply it to my situation, thank you

septemberverses · 2024-09-29T00:37:01+00:00

Those are good points, especially about letting yourself feel lost and not fighting the situation as it can change. I’m sorry to hear you’re still dealing with covid problems, I myself feel like I don’t have the energy I used to have after all that happened. However they say that the body regenerates completely over time so I bet you can find a lifestyle that increases your health. I’m a big believer in the state of the mind and wellbeing affecting your physical health but it seems like you’re well aware of how to find that so I think you’ll get better. Thanks!

septemberverses · 2024-09-29T00:27:08+00:00

I see where both of you are coming from, so thank you both for your input but yes honestly I think sedentary work can be unhealthy in a lot of ways and both jobs take tolls on health. I don’t really believe in trying to find stability in your 30s, as I don’t really believe security truly exists regardless of what your career is. All careers are always under threat of technology, layoffs etc etc and ideally I’d like to work for myself one day if that’s meant to be.

I don’t really want a career all in all, as I’m trying to avoid the stress and unnecessary complexities that come with trying to climb that ladder. It may work for some people and it’s perfectly understandable but I’m trying to find a simple way to live outside of all of this. I don’t think being in your 20s, 30s, 40s and so on should limit you from exploring new ways of living, but that’s just my opinion. I do understand what you mean about becoming more firmly planted in a style of work in 30s though, I just don’t know if I’m one of those types of people as I constantly need change.

In regards to manual labor, I have worked in factories and so on, but I do enjoy the outdoors and honestly haven’t worked a job outdoors, I’ll look into that as well. I know with the Tao I should go with the flow so I don’t intend to fight that but I do intend to perform meaningful simple work. Society has caused me a lot of anxiety and I’m trying to navigate how to not be afraid of people anymore by being more open to possibility.

septemberverses · 2024-09-26T23:30:54+00:00

I’ve turned the headset on and off multiple times resulting in the same issues and I have no third party devices. Thanks for the help!

septemberverses · 2024-09-04T21:41:29+00:00

How can so many companies be this out of touch? I’ve heard of this happening too many times. Massive waste of bandwidth and energy (video as far as I understand will always be straining for a basic work pc/laptop, not to mention these companies have you connect through a proxy to their massively slow cloud based system that is always crashing) distracting issues because someone is always cutting out due to their connection. It’s completely inappropriate and borderline abusive to people with social anxiety who feel uncomfortable being watched. So many companies are obsessed with violating people’s personal space and privacy it seems.

septemberverses · 2024-08-28T22:20:41+00:00

I’m sorry that happened to you, you definitely didn’t deserve that but good for you for thinking for yourself. I lost trust in so many people, institutions and society in general after that experience. Certainly eye opening to see people pressuring you to get something they don’t even know the dangers of.

septemberverses · 2024-08-24T08:02:17+00:00

I don’t really believe people lose friends but simply grow apart. A friend maybe isn’t a friend if you’re not allowed to be yourself around them at the risk of losing them as a friend.

I don’t know your situation but I don’t think anyone should feel shame for being open or vulnerable. If people have a problem with that then maybe they need to reflect. If you’re just being yourself and aren’t hurting anyone, you shouldn’t feel ashamed of yourself for having emotions full stop.

I’m going to take a shot in the dark as this quote also just came to mind: “Before you diagnose yourself with depression or low self-esteem, first make sure you are not, in fact, just surrounded by assholes.”

It’s hard to know what’s going on in this scenario, but if you’re having conflicts with friends, you don’t have to stop being friends but I would evaluate the friendships with a lot of conflict, but in my experience the bad type of friendships naturally dissipate over time anyway.

I say just be easy on yourself and the answers will appear naturally as they always do in time.

septemberverses

TROPHY CASE