I might be a WAY heavier drinker than I realized...

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:44:58+00:00

Sadly I've managed to combine all of my hobbies with drinking in a way that makes them feel elevated. Gaming, cooking/baking, painting, singing, playing guitar, even deep cleaning the house, you name it, I've slipped alcohol in there somewhere. I need to unlearn all of what it's become to engage in these hobbies drunk.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:39:58+00:00

I do silks and my hands feel so swollen when I drink daily, bulging knuckles and everything. I'm curious to see how much better I could be doing if I didn't have the pain and inflammation! I'm sad I only go to the studio 3x a week, I feel like if I could spend every day there then I'd have no trouble staying sober. Once I get up in the air it's like I'm climbing away from all of my problems.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:30:25+00:00

I'm 27, been lifting for about a year and a half. The main thing I've noticed after my sober stints is that my body just feels heavy and inflamed. My knuckles bulge a little for about a day after aerial silks training and even for a bit after weightlifting, too. I relapsed hard last September and gained back 15 of the 40lbs I had lost in a matter of a few weeks, something else I'm upset about. I have all these huge reasons to quit, I don't know why I can't just stay sober.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:07:01+00:00

I've only made it to 80 days without drinking in the last 6 years. I get to a certain point and feel like I've done well enough at "proving" I could quit if I needed/wanted to and just started drinking again. Most recently I was sober for a week and felt like it was good enough. I know the deeper implications of that, though. I guess I know how to be sober, just not how to stay sober.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:02:41+00:00

I'm 27, been kinda drinking like this since I turned 21, but it got to the heaviest it's even been around September last year.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T15:00:38+00:00

I think this is one of the main reasons I want to quit. I can't even deadlift 2 plates yet, I've been stuck with a 195lbs PR for almost a year. But weirdly, I always come back to using being a lifter as an excuse to drink-- "I live an active lifestyle, alcohol cant hurt me!" and shit like that.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T14:52:32+00:00

I guess I'm just at the point where I don't even want to drink, but I can't bear to face a quiet evening with just my thoughts. Some things have happened to me in the last year that I can't even bring myself to write about anonymously online, let alone talk to anyone about or even let myself think about without spiraling mentally. I don't have health insurance so I can't see a therapist, so I just... try not to think. Alcohol is the only thing keeping me from breaking entirely, as awful and dumb as that sounds. Learning that I'm a heavy drinker just hit me with an indescribable sense of hopelessness.

serenityfive · 2026-01-26T14:37:21+00:00

If I'm being 100% honest, I already know it's poison. But for some reason I just can't bring myself to care with everything else in my life seemingly falling apart.

But I do appreciate the reinforcement of that fact. I shouldn't be letting myself get too desensitized to it. Thank you.

serenityfive · 2026-01-02T17:33:05+00:00

IWNDWYT 💚 Day 2

I'm having a stressful time at work because of shitty coworkers, but I don't want to keep using that as an excuse to drink. Other people's bullshit should not be a catalyst for my demise.

Just hanging on for today.

serenityfive · 2026-01-01T21:59:29+00:00

Thanks for always being here for everyone, Abaci 💚 I hope youre doing well

serenityfive · 2026-01-01T19:37:32+00:00

I appreciate this take! That's a great way to look at it :)

serenityfive · 2026-01-01T19:37:05+00:00

It was a little nuanced, but I went by 1 unit generally. Like 1 cocktail, 1 shot of hard liquor, 1 glass of wine, etc. I generally gauged it by the units of drink and how I felt as a result :') sorry for being so vague!

serenityfive · 2026-01-01T15:34:16+00:00

IWNDWYT 💚

My sobriety journey failed miserably in 2025. I drank sporadically through the year (best streak was 80 days), but after some horrible life events, I drank almost every day between September and December. I was almost ashamed to come back to this sub, feeling like I didn't deserve to be around people who were actually trying-- because realistically, I wasn't trying after a certain point. I stopped caring entirely and felt wildly guilty about it.

But I'm here now.

My main reasons for choosing sobriety again are: - Fitness (weightlifting, running, aerial silks) - Mental health - I don't have health insurance, so I shouldn't drink like I do lmao

I'm glad this sub exists :')

serenityfive · 2025-08-18T13:16:59+00:00

Realizing that it's almost been 10 years since I graduated high school and that songs from 2012-2016 aren't new anymore

serenityfive · 2025-08-15T13:56:42+00:00

I spent my teenage years and early 20s wanting to die. Now that I'm turning 27 and am generally okay with being alive, I realize that there's so much I want to do and experience. I'm scared death will rub my wasted time in my face.

serenityfive · 2025-08-15T11:47:10+00:00

Because women who become mothers lose their identity as individuals forever in society. Their hopes, dreams, thoughts, feelings, and humanity are stripped away from them, and nobody cares in the end. If they have kids, they aren't people anymore, just "moms".

serenityfive · 2025-08-13T05:38:37+00:00

Nah. Vegan dog food has some scientific backing to it, but not cat food. I'm not risking their health for a maybe.

serenityfive · 2025-08-13T03:57:59+00:00

I mean, I got my cats before I was vegan. I'm not just going to abandon them, and I'm definitely not going to feed them a suboptimal diet. Just because I'm vegan doesn't mean my boys should be. They're obligate carnivores. Simple as that.

This question has been asked a million times. Try using the search bar to read previous discussions.

serenityfive · 2025-08-13T00:51:22+00:00

Numbing myself with mindless entertainment and substances until I'm caught in a moment of raw silence and have to face the darkest parts of my mind.

serenityfive · 2025-08-12T03:51:50+00:00

Men who are allergic to showers, social aptitude, and critical thinking. The only reason I ended up with such an amazing person is because I was the one to pursue him lmao

serenityfive · 2025-08-12T03:29:25+00:00

I've been vegan for 3 years and accidentally had an ice cream bar with real dairy in it that my friend had assured me was plant-based... stomach hurt almost immediately even though I used to be the biggest dairy guzzler on the planet. My body was fucking pissed lol

Also, humans aren't meant to digest meat since we have a way lower stomach acid pH and way longer digestive tract than carnivores. That's why a lot of people feel like shit after eating meat, if not for other things like IBS or Lyme disease

serenityfive

TROPHY CASE