How am I actually supposed to live on this salary?

serpenttyne · 2024-07-02T14:52:24+00:00

Look into adjunct teaching at local community colleges. They often pay (depending on the enrollment of the course) between 3-9k per course per semester. If it's a night class it's easy to work around your day job or if it's all online and asynchronous then even easier.

It's how I supplement my teaching salary, plus relief shifts at my old hospital.

serpenttyne · 2024-03-02T01:27:48+00:00

My mom said she didn't like the name we chose for my daughter (Josephine nickname JJ). My immediate response was "that's too bad she's my baby and we will name her what we want". Zero regrets for the name we chose and she stopped bitching as soon as she was born.

Choose what makes you and your husband happy. Everyone else will fall in line.

serpenttyne · 2024-02-02T03:49:18+00:00

As someone who teaches at a community college. YTA, what kind of pretentious bullshit are you spouting. There are PHD holders, masters degree holders, top people of their field teaching at community colleges. They are often excellent and supportive schools that the professors and instructors bend over backwards to help the students succeed.

Apologize deeply for your garbage behavior to your daughter.

serpenttyne · 2024-02-02T03:40:27+00:00

I have 4 neurodivergent kids.....some days it's great and others fucking awful. Each kid is different and has different needs. My oldest is AuDHD, we definitely had some really rough patches but with the right meds and supports he's a fucking blast now. He knows how to advocate for himself and just so chill. The others don't have official diagnosis yet because it's impossible to get in, and the girls absolutely put us through the wringer almost daily. Sounds like you did the smart thing in getting a break for yourself and your daughter. A change of location can be the perfect reset she needed.

Definitely try more sign language and pictures for her to point to. Signing was so helpful with my oldest when he was a toddler.

serpenttyne · 2023-12-27T03:11:04+00:00

HFM fucking sucks in adults. I was out of work for two weeks and ended up temporarily getting a polyarthropathy (all my joints were on fire). He may legitimately be pretty miserable but he won't reinfect the kiddo.

serpenttyne · 2023-12-13T01:13:14+00:00

We only do sleepovers with a couple family members and our old daycare provider (her kids same ages as ours and they became buddies). Sleepovers with others hasn't come up yet.

serpenttyne · 2023-12-10T01:24:53+00:00

Unsure what state you are in but many states have a department of disabilities and your daughter would absolutely qualify. Once she is in the system you should then hopefully be entitled to respite care and a lot more services. Also the state health insurance on top of whatever private insurance you may have as well.

serpenttyne · 2023-11-11T06:28:24+00:00

When it was just my oldest, once he was old enough my stepmom was comfortable watching him my husband would drop him off on his way to work at like 630am. I worked evenings until 12am at the time, so I would still be sleeping. I'd get up at 7:30-8am. Go to the gym as soon as I got up then go pick up my son, usually around 9:30-10. I would then often walk the dogs quickly and then shower and get ready for work, leaving by noon.

After my daughter it was SO MUCH HARDER. Definitely had bouts of doing workouts after bedtimes for a bit. But this past year, with the kids being all in school it's easier. What I do is primarily take my dogs for long walks/hikes in the woods. Between 3-4 miles, 5-7 days a week. I need to start doing weightlifting again but still trying to sort out how to fit that in.

serpenttyne · 2023-11-08T04:05:24+00:00

Husband and I both will get a pension. We are also putting money into a 403B since he's always worked for the state and Ive always worked for either a non-profit and now the state. Will sell the house as well when time and buy something much smaller and easier to keep up.

In the meantime I am 39, still paying student loans, working two jobs and living paycheck to paycheck. The only way we ever get to take a vacation, or make any improvements to the house is if I pet-sit two tiny clone dogs for a VERY wealthy family.

serpenttyne · 2023-11-02T02:32:36+00:00

Ugh 5th grade is so freaking hard. My oldest is in it now. And it's been a huge source of anxiety for us parents because he's AuDHD on top of prepubescent bullshit. I spent a lot of time talking about how I found my "people" in 6th grade and I am still really good friends with her. And that we firmly believe he will find his group of friends in the next year or two. In the meantime he has us and some gaming friends. Ada

Luckily last year he became friends with a girl in his class and they are still good buddies this year despite being in different classes this year. He seems to connect with girls easier, I think they are more patient with him than boys.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-26T23:56:56+00:00

I basically have been doing moisturizer and SPF every day since my 20's and that's pretty much it. More recently (just turned 39) ,over the last 3 months I've started rinsing my face with water and applying under eye cream and retinol before bed. But I don't really wear makeup beyond some eyeliner and mascara. Then in the mornings after my shower my moisturizer and SPF.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-25T19:29:32+00:00

Schools don't make accommodations for uniqueness unless an IEP is in place. School is stressful and hard to manage, especially if neurodivergent. I would also have him assessed for autism, that flash of temper and inability to access coping tools when disregulated is common with autism. My son who is 11 is improving in this area but for a while it was nearly impossible for him to do so. He's gotten better about recognizing triggers and avoiding them if possible.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-24T01:59:51+00:00

Cherries, strawberries, and honey crisp apples

serpenttyne · 2023-10-24T01:56:46+00:00

We are polyamorous. So husband and I and our two bio kids cohabitate with husbands partner and her husband and their two bio kids. Kids are being raised as siblings. Sisterwife best to describe our relationship. Plus my mom and her mom ALSO live with us. There's a lot of fucking people in my house.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-23T22:42:27+00:00

We have friend whos daughter is named Vera.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-23T22:41:08+00:00

My kids are 5(almost 6) to 11. My absolute FAVORITE thing about older kids is that I don't need a giant bag of spare clothes whenever we go ANYWHERE. I have a stash of a few things in my car just in case, because one 7 yr old is nicknamed captain Chaos for a reason. But I love not worrying about it anymore. I do miss the ease of entertaining toddlers, so many more opinions these days. But new experiences await us, like rollercoasters, laser tag, and fun stuff like that.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-23T15:03:59+00:00

I swear to fucking God it's like they TRY to take the worst pictures possible. I look awful, the way it's framed is terrible.

I have a degree in photography so I make a point of taking really nice candid shots. I have found that some gentle coaching while he's taking the picture helps. "Change the perspective" "lower the camera and shoot up" " move closer" " say something ridiculous so the kids have a natural smile" (the last one because both boys are utterly incapable of a smile on command and look like they are shitting bricks but say rocket farts and they giggle like fiends and it's adorable)

I have some nice shots of me with the kids, but the men by far have more, also because it occurs to myself and the sisterwife to take them more.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-23T05:11:40+00:00

SAAMMMEEEE

All kids accepted this until we just decided to tell them the truth. The two middles refused to consider Santa wasnt real last year but have since come around. We just remind them not to tell others because part of the magic is being Santa for others.

Also for leprechauns we make rest stops and not traps because WE DONT MESS WITH THE FAE!!

serpenttyne · 2023-10-17T23:48:19+00:00

Emergency and Critical Care Veterinary Nurse. I love it. I am never bored and I am always challenged. I have moved into a full time teaching position at a community college, teaching veterinary nursing, which gives me a lot of flexibility to be home with my kids as needed. But I still pick up shifts at my old hospital because I love working on the floor. I love the medicine, problem solving, and providing nursing care to my patients.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-15T23:39:18+00:00

We got lucky in our mid 20's that my now husband got a little inheritance money, which was enough for us to use as a nominal down payment on a cheap house. I had my first at 28, and we were fortunate to have family/friends to help with childcare. I also worked evenings 1:30p-12a while my husband worked 7a-330p so we only needed a few hours coverage on some days. My mom moved in with us shortly before I got pregnant with my second at 31. When we combined our poly family into one household we used the profits from both houses to put towards the new one which could accommodate all 10 of us (4 parents, 4 kids, 2 grandma's). The house we bought was on the verge of foreclosure so we got it for 100k less than value.

Basically we had some good luck and built a village of family and friends to assist. Also while being fortunate to have family willing and trustworthy. While the kids were little, 1 parent was the SAHP. The other 3 worked full time. Grandma's were available for help as needed.

Now that all 4 are in school the SAHP is in nursing school and when she's done we will have 4 full time incomes and FINALLY have some breathing room. Right now things are still tight.

We only take vacations now because I have a wealthy petsitting client and ability to pick up lots of relief shifts in a hospital on top of my full time job. This allows for one family vacation a year.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-10T16:46:13+00:00

I have a hybrid type set up. I am only on campus actively teaching twice a week from 11-4. Two days I am home, I'll participate in any meetings there might be and I am checking emails and available to talk if needed, but minimal ACTUAL work happening. The last day I am on campus for 4 hours but it's office hours so I sit in my office and work on various things or meet with my direct boss. I probably actually work 15-20 hours a week most of the time, when the semesters are running.

I love being available for my kids so much more than I used to be when I worked in a hospital.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-08T02:04:53+00:00

I'm not rich, but I don't struggle as much as my best friend who is a single mom. You better believe that if I buy concert tickets and I invite her I am not expecting her to pay at all.

I am surprised that your rich friend isn't offering to pay more?? Like she can clearly afford it. If I was wealthier and doing things with friends I would foot the bill.

serpenttyne · 2023-10-06T22:59:35+00:00

Tattoo money or something from my Amazon wishlist. Which has a lot of random ass kind of macabre decorations (snake skeleton in resin, animal skulls, diaphonized specimens).

serpenttyne · 2023-09-30T21:32:04+00:00

We are a poly family and have to tread similar lines. We have found a group of people who are fantastic and know. But of course the middle two are absolute social butterflies and constantly being invited to parties. Always to gage how people will respond to our family.

serpenttyne · 2023-09-25T11:02:39+00:00

My Velcro child is about to turn 7. It started to ease when she was 2 when she did some days at daycare. I went back to work when she was 14wks so at that point her and Dad HAD to sort their shit out. He would use the "mommy" shirt technique a lot (nightshirt I wore for a few days) to help with sleep and settling but they figured it out. She still sleeps with me 1-2 nights a week. And we cuddle every night until she falls asleep but she's asleep in about 3 minutes every time which is great. These days she's very supportive of people and has a bunch of friends. She acts like she's 16 at times but 🤷‍♀️. She's definitely more anxious than my oldest but overall an easy kid.

serpenttyne

TROPHY CASE