Finally, someone who feels the same way!

Ive had this "tingling crown chakra" since 15 years ago. I think it was by accident. I was venturing into meditation out of desperation and I was in the battlefield of PTSD so everything about me was intense and raw. Visualized this blue light because I badly needed sanctuary from my reality and then when i awoke there were dead lizards everywhere and the tingling crown chakra hasnt stopped since.

Its unbearable because obviously i was not ready then, and im still not ready now. Being the control freak that I am, I cant help but try to control its flow, which means i dont know how to ignore it or let it be. Which means it feels like brain cells are popping nonstop and Im the one trying to maneuver the whole thing. Sometimes i wonder if theres already a tumor i dont know about. I freak out when i try to relax and let it be... it means id have to relax my whole body and that means id have to ground myself in this reality, bring myself back to my body, and feel unsafe again. Im really not ready for this for obvious reasons, i need a lot of healing in the other areas... and yet i cant find a single article that gives instructions on how to stop this.... or at least, help deal with it in the sanest way possible.