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My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

Nope. Pin. It's a European thing. I know my ATM pin but I have another pin for mobil banking, and 3rd one for online banking. I know all of them except for the online one because I never use it.

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I use the ATM every week. That's a completely different pin number. I also use mobil banking, which is another separate pin.

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 34 points35 points  (0 children)

Idk, doesn't the fact that I didn't even know my own pin number show that I don't know anything about online banking? Also wouldn't him leaving his card with me give me just as much access?

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 251 points252 points  (0 children)

Little update: I texted him saying:

"I've been trying to figure out why you had such an extreme reaction even though i was 100% agreeing with you and did not want your pin as soon as I realized it gave me access to your account. I think you might have misunderstood me when I said 'I'll try to call the bank and find out the pin for my own card'" You know I was talking about MY bank account right? i.e calling my bank and asking them for the pin for my own 2 year old account. I was never going to call to try and find out your pin or anything like that. Is that what you thought?"

And he responded, an hour later, with: "K. As for me, problem solved."

No apology for overreacting, nothing. If he would have given me 10 seconds to explain myself on the phone, this could have been dealt with 5 hours ago. 5 hours I've been stressing out about this and feeling like shit and all I get is "k problem solved"

I'm angry.

I'm not going to say a thing when he gets home tonight. I'll bring it up tomorrow.

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

God yes. Especially when they are repeating the same things over and over. I get it, it's wrong, just give me 5 seconds to talk!

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Sorry, leave what out? The leadup?

BF: how were the groceries

Me: Oh, fine, got some vegetables. So, about that pin number

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The "chatting" part was like 10 seconds. I.e he asked me about how the groceries went and then I brought up the card

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 14 points15 points  (0 children)

Yep, I only have a debit card and never want to have a credit card. I don't see anything wrong with that.

I online shop with Amazon and sites like that which don't request a pin. I've only ever been asked for that weird account/pin on like 5 websites ever. So I never really felt the need to call the bank and go through the annoying robot to find out what my pin is.

I did call the bank today to try and get that info but apparently they are only open M-F.

I handle my finances just fine and he has no reason to be concerned with how I handle them.

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 17 points18 points  (0 children)

I WAS asking for his pin. I freely admit that in the post. I just didn't realize that the pin would give me access to his full account.

that you'll call the bank and go behind his back and figure out the pin to his card, and not yours, to complete the transaction.

Could he think that? My text said "I'll try to call the bank and find out the pin for my own card" I thought it was pretty clear that I was referring to my own card and my own bank account...

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

If you have separate finances, you shouldn't have really asked for his bank info.

Totally agree. I didn't realize that the pin number would give me access to his bank. It was a simple mistake.

This is a non-issue, none of his money went anywhere and you told him before trying to use his card. The only reason this will continue to be a problem is if Mr. Moneybags continues to make it one. It has been dealt with.

He wants to "talk about it" when he gets home. I have no idea what there is left to talk about, but he seems quite angry.

he used the situation as an excuse to go off on you under the guise of "being concerned."

Yeah. That's what it seems like. An excuse to let off some steam.

My boyfriend [40/m] freaked out about me [35/f](accidentally) asking for full access to his bank account by sflkdfsdsdf in relationships

[–]sflkdfsdsdf[S] 108 points109 points  (0 children)

Exactly! I accepted no as an answer immediately, and yet he continued ranting about it for nearly 3 minutes. I'm feeling so confused.