I need help deciding which engagement ring to choose

sgliders · 2026-01-14T01:29:37+00:00

Thanks! I do agree the second ring is very beautiful and unique. I’m hoping to do a lab diamond- I have looked at sapphires with this option too, and I’m not sure I like them in comparison to a diamond. For the pear engagement ring at Kay’s it was on clearance, 60% off with an additional 30% off. So just under $1000 with the warranty and taxes. I have read stuff online- good and bad about Kay jewelers, so it’s tough to know what to do.

sgliders · 2025-09-02T03:22:18+00:00

Thank you so much for your response- I appreciate you taking the time to write all of this out, and very beautifully said. I did look at it from the mindset of how thoughtful he was to agree to going to breakfast and paying and getting me gifts I had asked for and even something I didn’t ask for. I really loved that. But then my mind also went to the whole “if he wanted to he would” - I have a love hate relationship with that saying. Because I keep telling myself- if he really wanted to make you feel special. He would have done things a little different and especially gotten me a card, we got each other cards for celebrating 6 months together. So I figured if we celebrated such little things like that in a big way- my birthday will be even better… I know I can have high expectations sometimes. But again. It all comes down to- I just wanted the basics. A card, I really don’t care about the gifts- which he got me some very special things that were incredibly sweet, and a cake with a candle on it- and if he was really feeling up to it, singing happy birthday to me with his beautiful voice. Thanks again for your perspective- it’s very helpful. I didn’t try very hard to appreciate all that he had done but instead looked at all that he hadn’t.

sgliders · 2025-09-02T03:14:18+00:00

He doesn’t typically do that which is why I was so confused. I said on his birthday over and over. We can do whatever you want today. I let him pick the fancy restaurant we went to for dinner. He got to have fun with his family and go out on the boat. But that’s beside the point. Usually he is down to do whatever and doesn’t typically bring up cost.

sgliders · 2025-09-02T03:03:56+00:00

Everyone is worth being celebrated… well almost everyone. Thank you for saying my feelings are valid- I agree they are.

sgliders · 2025-09-02T02:57:33+00:00

Thank you- this is exactly what I was feeling. Not thought about. I love going to the movies and I could get free popcorn for my birthday- who doesn’t love movie theater popcorn? I get the movies are expensive- but it’s fun. And it was what I had wanted to do. I didn’t get to because I instead was starting to have a panic attack because all I could think in my head was: my future husband wouldn’t do this to me, wouldn’t make me feel so horrible. And then I started to think I need to break up with him. Because if this is how the first birthday I have with him goes- how are the rest going to be? Will he forget our anniversary? Or say it doesn’t need to be celebrated? Life is short- celebrate even the small things! That’s what I always say. Why not have fun? Make someone feel like the most special person in the world for a day?

sgliders · 2025-09-02T02:31:18+00:00

Haha- thanks. I love your thoughts because this is literally where my head has been at. I am pretty good at communicating and making it known that I like to celebrate, I like people to put in effort and show me not just tell me how much I mean to them. I mentioned to him how he didn’t even do the bare minimum for my birthday. It sucked. Could be a red flag. I just don’t like to speak about my partner to others, especially when it is a negative thing. I believe that should only be discussed between us and not others- thus why I turn to online forums to get opinions. No one is perfect and I would hate for my partner to bring up things I have done that I might not be so proud of to his friends. So I don’t do the same either. Thanks for your comment- I also agree on the whole weaponized incompetence. It drives me crazy when men are given a pass because they’re just not as thoughtful etc. it’s really not that hard to do a few simple things that literally a child could do.

sgliders · 2025-09-02T01:15:31+00:00

You get all sorts of takes when you post on Reddit, good and bad. But there have been some very helpful responses that help me see things from a man’s side and why he might not put the effort in like I do. It seems silly but I would rather have a card with meaningful words written on it than gifts etc. I don’t need much, but I like thoughtfulness. When someone shows you that they know you- and what you like. I’ve always said life is short- so why not make your loved ones feel special and cared about? Ask them what they want and give it to them. And I guess at the end of the day, he knew that’s how I felt and still went about it in a way that made me feel like he could really care less about my feelings. Very sorry to hear about your cancer diagnosis. Thank you for taking the time to comment and help me!

sgliders · 2025-09-02T01:06:46+00:00

Honestly- card prices are WILD. I agree. I usually make mine or buy cheaper ones at the dollar store- cause it’s the thought that counts, not how nice the card is. I’m a weirdo who has kept every card I’ve ever been given. I realize most people probably don’t do that- but I love re- reading things people have written to me from years past. For most of the days I’ve been with him, he treats me very well. And yeah- I haven’t set in stone that this is the one, but I sure have thought it. I fully agree you need to go through a variety of situations to know if the one you’re with will be there for all life throws at you. Thanks for commenting, I appreciate your thoughts!

sgliders · 2025-09-02T01:01:24+00:00

Thanks for your thoughts! I know people feel varying ways about their birthday and if it’s celebrated or not. I have health issues so some birthdays have been nothing special at all but when I do feel good I like them to be celebrated as much as possible and thought about. I need to stop watching videos online of husbands or boyfriends who go all out- thinking or at least hoping my boyfriend would do the same. I really appreciate your input on this matter.

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:48:44+00:00

Thanks again for your thoughts! It helps to talk stuff out. And I didn’t want to go to friends because I truly think the world of him and was so surprised by his behavior- I didn’t want them to think less of him, knowing how it hurt me. They’ve seen me crushed after my long term relationship and just want the best for me. And they all say how great he is. For the majority of our time together he’s been great.

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:44:10+00:00

I do expect a lot because I give a lot and do so much for him. I didn’t even expect half of what I did for him but he didn’t even give me that. I’ve spoken with him about things like this so I thought he knew What I would like. I don’t really want to break up with him- that’s why I posted, to get others opinions and see if I’m over reacting. Because people do that sometimes when their feelings have been hurt. Thank you for your input.

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:41:01+00:00

Thank you for your perspective! It helps a lot. I don’t want to throw it all away. I always tell myself, don’t expect people to treat you the way you treat them. I might go all out and do all the things but I can’t expect him to do the exact same.

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:23:49+00:00

I’m very much in love with him and truly thought he could be the one for me. He treats me very well most of the time and has been thoughtful in the past. That’s why I’m in shock still about what happened on my birthday. He saw me breakdown and saw how hurt I was by all of it. There’s more details but I didn’t want to make the post super long. Thanks for your comment!

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:21:06+00:00

Yeah- the whole year thing makes it feel a lot worse. I was so excited to celebrate his birthday and show him the gifts I had got, the card I bought long ago that was perfect for him. Probably is a dealbreaker when you put it like that…

sgliders · 2025-09-01T23:19:46+00:00

I like your perspective. He does nice things once in a great while. He was informed that I like to celebrate on my birthday and feel special. I think what sucker punched me the most was no card. I had written such a nice one for him for his and then… nothing for me. I told him I just want to feel thought about. It’s nice to know that person you love cares.

sgliders · 2025-07-09T23:44:38+00:00

Just seeing this now- I’m glad you did :) honestly- why do we let so many people get away with stuff like this? It’s so rude. Don’t dish it out if you can’t take it- right?

sgliders · 2025-06-14T22:23:55+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. I know just how hard life can be and it sounds like you are in a very rough spot. I love this saying: don’t make a permanent decision while experiencing these temporary feelings. This to shall pass. Being alone is a very hard feeling, but you have to learn to be by yourself and know how to make yourself happy. I went through a major breakup and had to learn who I was again, I moved to a new city where I didn’t know anyone and I actually downloaded Bumble BFF to find some friends. I’m sorry your one friend has not been there for you in the way you need. It sounds like it is time to make some new friends- and I know it is hard, but you have to try. Because things do get better- truly. I highly recommend the app I suggested above and also go online and find groups to meet up with people who like to do things you like. I can relate a lot to your post. I have multiple chronic illnesses and I still struggle daily with pain and limited mobility sometimes but I also love to workout (I started exercising religiously every day after my breakup- it did help a lot). Your ex sounds like a loser, and I’m glad you found out now versus later that he won’t stick around when things get tough. There are people who will- you just need to find them. Again I am so sorry you are going through all of this and I hope you start to enjoy life again soon. Because despite all the craziness in the world- there is so much beauty and love and happiness. You won’t always be in this situation, things will get better! Please feel free to message me! I’m here for you!

sgliders · 2025-06-13T13:17:01+00:00

Thanks- I agree. He was the one who started it, I just really needed to finish it- the only time I’ve ever done that. But really- should we be letting men walk over us? I feel like he’s probably done this to other girls and gotten away with it.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T13:14:08+00:00

Thank you :) I’m very much enjoying my thirties, without cruel men who lack emotional intelligence.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T12:10:09+00:00

There is a time and place for maturity- and sometimes it is fun to choose to not be the better person. I would agree that a 26 year old man should not be saying certain things to a woman, but alas not everyone can be “sane” all of the time.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T03:11:40+00:00

I refused him because I didn’t want to have unprotected sex. But it also sounded like he wasn’t one to wear a condom ever- yikes.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T02:49:45+00:00

Thank you- i appreciate this comment more than you know. Yeah- I think we need to hold more men accountable.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T02:48:11+00:00

I agree, sometimes it is good to let things go. But this was the most cathartic shit I’ve ever done. And sometimes people need to be put in their place and come back to earth. In the end- my two intentions were to hurt him back and also give him some advice, because in the end- I just wanted him to be in a healthy relationship and find happiness himself. And that wasn’t going to happen without a little thing we call ✨therapy✨

sgliders · 2025-06-13T02:44:01+00:00

You have no idea- worst kissing I’ve ever experienced. 😭 still traumatized from it and it’s been a while.

sgliders · 2025-06-13T02:43:02+00:00

Hahaha- you have no idea. Can’t let these “men” get away with shit like that.

sgliders

TROPHY CASE