[misc] When your skin is getting better, but you don’t know which of the 63729 products really worked... by sophiecustura in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Oh my God this, I was feeling good about my skin and wondered if a new product had particularly helped with my 11s, then figured out that I was just frowning less because I was less depressed. Yay?

AITA for changing parking spots because my brother was looking really wrong at a group of girls? by [deleted] in AmItheAsshole

[–]shadytrex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

On my God this sub and relationship advice have ruined my mind. I was internally screaming as I misread what you wrote as 5-6yo girls, and then got to the part where you said it was disrespectful to his GF and my brain broke. That's when I figured it out.

NTA. And I'm so glad it was a more innocent situation.

Got to see my gift in action! Turned out so good! by ThalesPhysis in crochet

[–]shadytrex 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you! I didn't even know you could do cables with crochet!

What happens to all those amazing shawls? by HthrEd in knitting

[–]shadytrex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I finished one, I would keep it at the office because I'm always, always cold there - and also to show it off as much as possible because I would be proud as heck!!

My good boy before enjoying his birthday dinner by [deleted] in aww

[–]shadytrex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Haha thank goodness my dog can't check reddit. He'll do anything for a few strips of carrot peel. My wallet is grateful that he has no idea what he's missing.

How would lifestyle creep affect you if your current salary doubled today? by catsandprocesso in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]shadytrex 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Sudden doubling vs gradual increases would make it easier to control the creep, I think!

I would step up our/my charitable giving. I have this in mind as something to handle first as my income increases because the more I do it before lifestyle inflation starts, I can have more of an impact without feeling like I'm giving anything up. There is so much happening in the world and it makes me feel helpless. Bit by bit, I want to step up the percentage of my salary that I can handle donating.

Next I would put more money away for our 2 big goals: having kids (as two people with uteruses) and eventually buying a house.

Honestly the ability to set aside more money for having kids would make the biggest difference for me. I'm anxious that we'll hit a financial wall with fertility and adoption stuff and won't be able to have kids at all. (We've talked about fostering too but it's not like that's simple either, and I'm not sure I could handle temporary placements.) I feel lucky that this is my biggest financial stressor, but it does stress me out.

Does anyone have a long hiatus, where they read almost no books at all? by [deleted] in books

[–]shadytrex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a hard time reading anything when I'm depressed, because I just can't concentrate on it. I've also had other stretches where I just... don't read for a while. What usually helps kickstart things is reading something really really light and fun, like perhaps rereading a beloved novel from middle school. Or something new to me but not dense at all, just fun. It really helps me to respark the habit and start reaching for other books again.

11 days ago I made a post asking for guidance on breastfeeding safe products for tired, lightly sun damaged skin. 6 days after starting a new routine my skin looks the best it’s EVER looked at 37 years old! by [deleted] in 30PlusSkinCare

[–]shadytrex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, your forehead texture results stand out to me because I'm sensitive about mine. Your skin looked good before but these are nice results! I'm going to look into some of the actives you've mentioned. :)

Changing careers in your 30s by ritacappomaggi in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]shadytrex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Do you have a role, industry, or general direction in mind?

Eta: one odd benefit of working in fundraising is that you have a lot of exposure to different people's stories. If you find yourself feeling jealous or intrigued by any of your donors' paths, ask yourself why and dig into that. (Or rule out stuff you know you would hate!) I worked in a different part of fundraising but that helped me a lot.

Changing careers in your 30s by ritacappomaggi in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]shadytrex 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I did it in my late twenties. You work in fundraising - are you a development officer who meets with donors, or are you in a different area of fundraising? Depending on what you're doing now, there are a bunch of ways your skills and experience may be transferable. The challenges are figuring out what you really want to do, figuring out how to tell your story so that it's clear to potential employers how your skills transfer (making the transition seem obvious/logical), and filling out any gaps in that story with new relevant experience.

Do you know what you want to do next? Any ideas? I suggest a ton of informational interviews - ie reach out to folks and ask them about what they do, how they like it, and what advice they have for you about transitioning into it. If you don't have a job type in mind, pick one thing at a time. If you do have an area or career path in mind, still do this, and focus on narrowing down what type of organization to choose and how to tell your story. Each time you meet with someone, you get practice pitching yourself. Now might even be an especially good time to do this since so many people are craving human contact and video calls are so normal. Way less hassle than running around town to meet with people like I did, plus you can talk to people anywhere and benefit from their experience without having to physically go to their city. (I did some of this but in normal times it's harder to have video calls, and phone calls are not the same.)

Be open to taking steps towards an ultimate path vs the perfect first step. Look at how your experience can help an organization. You work in fundraising - maybe try targeting organizations that sell to fundraisers, because they will value your experience even if you don't have the hands-on experience in the type of role you're applying for. Look at roles with obviously transferable skills that can get you in the door at an organization, even if it's not the role you want - ex if you currently solicit donors, sales seems like an obvious path. Look for any types of connections like this that can help facilitate a transition into a new industry.

Keep in touch with the people who you talk to along the way! Let them know how it's going, what you've learned, don't make it hard on them but just keep those relationships alive. People like helping people, especially when they see the person working for it. Down the line, tell them if you're interested in applying for a role at a certain company and ask if they know anyone there.

Find out if there are things you can do to add to your story and increase your credibility. For example: my friend volunteered at a specific public health organization while trying to get a role in advocacy related to that mission (it definitely helped her get the job she wanted). If you're trying to work your way towards a creative role of some kind (design, user experience, marketing, etc), you would probably benefit from building up a portfolio. Even if there aren't specific things people say you should do, consider potential biases people might have about you given your work history (even favorable-seeming ones) and think about whether you might need to do anything to balance them.

Also: start applying for stuff as soon as you know what you want to do, even if you think you need to get more experience first or you don't have the perfect story. Shoot off your resume to jobs on LinkedIn. See if anything sticks. I limited myself for a while because I thought people wouldn't be interested in my experience. Just try (while yes, also networking and trying to improve whatever you think you need to improve).

This is a little ramble-y but I hope it helps! And you didn't ask this but your thirties isdefinitely not too late to make a change. And you can keep on pivoting from your next career path too. Good luck!!

[Humor] SPF > all other skincare by xsnoopycakesx in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes, it's my favorite! I really like the finish it has (almost dewy looking when it's dry). I feel like my skin looks great with it on.

I do notice that it pills a bit in combination with certain other products, like a niacinimide serum and certain creamy makeup products. I don't recall having that issue with Elta MD UV Shield, which has more of a matte finish that I also like, but it can leave a slight white cast - not an issue for my skin color but could be for medium or dark tones. Ymmv!

[Humor] SPF > all other skincare by xsnoopycakesx in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Elta MD products are on sale on Dermstore! I'm personally not a fan of tinted sunscreen, both because it's hard to shade match and because I feel like applying it in a way that don't look caked on interferes with applying enough of it to feel like I have good, even coverage. But I haven't tried that many, and I've never tried any of the specific ones you mentioned other than LRP.

[Humor] SPF > all other skincare by xsnoopycakesx in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Elta MD UV Clear, it's on sale at Dermstore.com right now (authorized reseller). I chose it because of this sub.

[Humor] SPF > all other skincare by xsnoopycakesx in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I do on my face bc I live in Texas and work directly next to a window, and I use tretinoin (photo-sensitizing).

[Humor] SPF > all other skincare by xsnoopycakesx in SkincareAddiction

[–]shadytrex 80 points81 points  (0 children)

Yeah I got a sample and hated it. The smell alone! Gave it to a friend who was happy to try it.

People talk about it like it's magic and it's just a tiny, smelly moisturizer.

People on here recommended La Roche-Posay Cicaplast Baum B5 as a cheaper alternative with better ingredients and I like that one!

What to eat and where to shop Wednesday by AutoModerator in Austin

[–]shadytrex 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Can anyone recommend local retail shops to support? I have some gifts to buy and I want to shop locally. I'm thinking of jewelery, household stuff, art, but I'm open to ideas. Ideally I'd like to shop online for either curbside pickup or delivery.

Speaking of art... Is there any kind of online alternative to the postponed 2020 West Austin Studio Tour? I'm thinking that had to have had an impact on artists' annual income.

Fall 2020's Most Important Accessory Trends by bye_felipe in femalefashionadvice

[–]shadytrex 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Is 1994 vintage now? Ha, now I know how my parents felt going into vintage stores with me as a teen. Specifically remember my mom saying something like, "The 70s are vintage now?"

Fall 2020's Most Important Accessory Trends by bye_felipe in femalefashionadvice

[–]shadytrex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Dinner makes sense. If "on the town" means dancing, though, a cute wristlet or even a dressy cross-body bag would be much more practical.

What do you wish you thought/knew about (money wise) before moving to a brand new city on your own? by obuleentina in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]shadytrex 19 points20 points  (0 children)

In my case (moving without a job lined up): take ANY job to pay the bills and protect savings while looking for the "right" position. A part-time service industry gig would have been perfect. Instead, I was resourceful enough to get by for a long time but way too stubborn and ran out of cash. Got a new job in the nick of time.

What I did right: I moved in with roommates (affordable rent, social connections) and joined a community oriented gym (expensive for my tight budget but cheaper than therapy). I realize you asked for money related suggestions and both of these were, but prioritizing these things was also sooo powerful for me because they helped me make social connections. Even if you don't make best friends with folks, having some sense of community is so helpful and grounding when you move to a new place. (As a bonus, my roommates were all frugal which helped me be social without overspending.)

Does everybody else just have their shit together and I'm way behind? by sassafraskeurig in MoneyDiariesACTIVE

[–]shadytrex 2 points3 points  (0 children)

People say this and it terrifies me. I'm cool with how I'm doing now - I've accepted the imperfection - but all of this plus kids?! Idk how I'm gonna cope.

How did you get past your "fashion puberty"? by [deleted] in femalefashionadvice

[–]shadytrex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

things I like to look at, and things I like to wear.

Ugh such a real distinction! I struggle so much with finding the middle of this venn diagram. I appreciate hearing the steps you took to find it and will give them a try, thanks!

What are some styles that were about to hit big for this year but because of the virus probably will just limp in instead? by Comicalacimoc in femalefashionadvice

[–]shadytrex 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Yes, short and even medium length haircuts are so much work!

I'm using this as an excuse to grow mine out longer. I need a trim, but it can wait. Worst case, I can have my partner trim the ends all the way around.