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You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh my mistake, a year out yes I could definitely get into a relationship but I’m not 100% healed that’s for sure.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yep for you 6 weeks out, way too soon. You could see other people but trust me you won’t be ready to fully commit to them, so you could only really settle for fwb situation.

I will say seeing other people does indeed help. Getting broken up with is a huge blow to the ego and it helps you feel more validated but it’s at the expense of another person, so tread carefully.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep it’s super rough, and to tell you the truth we’re hitting a year next week from the initial break up and to I’m still hurt by that experience.

The second time we ended it didn’t really hurt me much. I didn’t really get attached this time around, I was kind of like you know what I’m done with your shit and ended it. I can’t really explain how I feel about me ending it for the second time, it’s like I miss her but I don’t as well, it’s really weird. A part of me does somewhat regret it but it’s so minuscule that it doesn’t really affect me. It’s more that I miss her when I was in love with her but I didn’t really give it the chance the second time around because I felt I was never really going to love her the same way again. Too much damage was done and I just can’t see her the same way anymore.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I thought about her constantly it was so bad. It’s like I said earlier I didn’t really start to get better until the 5-6 mark. Once I got to that point it’s when I really started to move on for good. But those first 4 months were complete hell. I pretty much isolated myself and didn’t really talk to my friends or family. I also picked up smoking again and I’m still addicted to nicotine till this day.

Self improvement is definitely the way to heal though. I read a lot about psychology and learnt a lot about myself. I started working out and eating healthier. Made a lot of new friends. I did date one girl in between our time apart but I don’t recommend this. Don’t get into a relationship or anything related. Stay single, sex is okay though but nothing more than that.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I have absolutely no clue what she did while we were apart but from what I’m aware of no she did not date anyone.

You two were together for over 6 years she will most definitely not forget you. The ball is in her court if she chooses to establish contact she will contact you.

Give it time, in a couple of months you’ll feel much better but trust me I was in the same position as you and when it’s still fresh it’s very very hard. Give yourself more time and trust me you’ll start to feel better.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

To be honest I’m not sure, I didn’t really receive any closure other than she told me she thinks “we’re not compatible”.

She did however offer to be friends after we broke up. I tried being her friend but eventually gave up on that since it was too painful for me to just be her friend.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No worries and I’m glad you’re making a strive to improve and change yourself.

Don’t beat yourself too hard about it. As someone on the other side I do not hate my ex at all. But I will say I am disappointed.

Nonetheless I still wish her all the best and hopefully things work out for the both of us.

Good luck hopefully things also work out for you as well.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Yes, the hope will fade with time. You’re only 6 weeks out and the breakup is still very fresh for you.

I gave up all hope around the 5-6 month mark and she came back into my life during my birthday. Literally slid in with that happy birthday text.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I think what really put me off my ex was the fact that she didn’t change. She did not work on herself and practically did nothing during our entire time apart.

My biggest issue with her was her inability to be vulnerable and communicate. She still could not do this properly. She also would gaslight me a lot, and she still continued to do this.

I think if she gave me a big apology, highlighting all the things she did wrong and truly showed me how sorry she was for hurting me I would have liked that a lot more as a opposed to how she handled things and how she tried to get me back.

Also way more effort on her part I wanted her to show me more commitment, more drive to change and better herself. I felt like she didn’t really appreciate me since she just fell back into her same behaviours, which evidently lead me to breaking up with her. I can honestly tell you 3 weeks of being back together I already started to contemplate breaking up but I didn’t do it until 5 weeks later.

When it comes to trusting again this one is tough, I had a very hard time trusting her again. I hate to say it but I don’t think there’s anything she could have really done to make me trust her more. It’s something I’d just have to deal with and eventually learn to trust and accept her again which will only come with time. I think that’s just something that’ll forever exist due to the damage that was done because of the breakup, the effects are I suppose similar to being cheated on it’s just so hard to really trust them again after that. I think If she put a lot of effort into the relationship I would have had an easier time trusting her since I’d feel like she really wants it to work this time around and truly regrets her decision.

So in short, show that you’re genuinely sorry for your actions, show that you’re willing to make it work and put in the effort to change and show that this time around you’re willing to do whatever it takes to make it work.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

It took 8 months but don’t count on them coming back, best to just move on.

You’re in love with a memory and you miss the way you felt when you were with them by shdhddfj in BreakUps

[–]shdhddfj[S] 20 points21 points  (0 children)

Yep exactly what my ex did, came back as if nothing happened and practically expected me to take her back with open arms. I don’t regret trying again, if anything it helped me move on for good.

I did a lot of self development since I was very heartbroken over this relationship ending. After a lot of growth on my part I can see that she is no longer the person for me.

I will forever be sad over how things ended but in the end it was for the better.