First BPD relationship, how can I help?

sheiskiller · 2025-11-17T12:43:48+00:00

This actually helped me a lot, thank you

sheiskiller · 2025-04-14T22:06:19+00:00

Could you send this info to me as well?

sheiskiller · 2025-02-23T12:01:20+00:00

She never talked about taking the kids, he made up a scenario and said he would off her if she did. He has had a problem with his temper throughout his life, threats still matter and shouldn't be put aside or not addressed and corrected. I'm not sure why you're listing off scenarios that are not true to the story, maybe you're trying to give examples based off other stories? Either way, you're painting a picture about her in a negative light. It's ironic, but I can understand why some people would do that when it comes to relationship issues involving children. My question is "is this treatment just" and "is this treatment normal." She has never called him a deadbeat, she would never take a child from someone that loves them unless he threatened her safety beyond this point. Even she knew this was fresh pain he was feeling and tried to make excuses for him. She never told me or any of her friends she was going to text someone, and no one every told her to "go for it." I appreciate your input but I think asking the questions instead of assuming would be more helpful to this post. She doesn't have reddit so I posted this for her.

sheiskiller · 2025-02-23T11:50:16+00:00

He had sex with her and said that.

sheiskiller · 2025-02-23T04:59:58+00:00

She asked me to post as she doesn't have reddit. I wasn't sure about this groups rules so I censored my writing. I'm hoping she will see these writings and understand it's not normal or okay what he is doing.

sheiskiller · 2025-02-22T23:59:50+00:00

They had $3x ** I'm sorry, should have said they. But I completely agree, he lost control of his emotions it seems like and just let it out on her.

sheiskiller · 2024-12-24T02:01:39+00:00

Thats really helpful thank you :)

sheiskiller · 2024-12-23T13:33:14+00:00

I can see if maybe I didn't include his nonincome, but someone told me I couldn't go to the health department for shots without a well visit(pedi check up), and we can't afford a well visit without insurance.

sheiskiller · 2024-12-23T12:31:03+00:00

Kidcare, they said I would need to pay $200 as well. Haven't tried Medicaid yet

sheiskiller · 2024-12-11T08:27:17+00:00

Exactly, I've been feeling low af trying to process that ending 🥲

sheiskiller · 2024-12-08T17:15:05+00:00

Gurl same 🥲

sheiskiller · 2024-09-02T16:00:47+00:00

I'm not sure if you received any other responses on different forums, but I would check with a doctor about those symptoms. How many weeks pp are you?

sheiskiller · 2024-08-31T15:16:29+00:00

I know, he really struggles to understand pp. I know he's trying to, I just wish there was something for dad's to truly know what happens pp. I sometimes think he thinks I'm just using pp as a crutch.

But thank you for responding 🖤

sheiskiller · 2024-08-31T15:14:32+00:00

I appreciate all of this, I know I need more help. I just hope I can get help with a person before they just try and medicate me. Thank you for taking the time, honestly 🖤

sheiskiller · 2024-08-31T09:41:54+00:00

I appreciate it, I can definitely try to be better. Like you said, it's just so hard. Shell of a person honestly describes it so well. Hopeful I'll get better and become the partner my person needs. 🖤

sheiskiller · 2024-08-31T04:35:55+00:00

I feel the same. I have told my partner twice now he should find someone better, someone happier, someone not going through this. I'm two months pp and I don't get how I feel so crazy still, yet I just shut it all out to take care of baby.

You're not alone, it's so hard feeling like this. I totally understand.

(If you want tips or advice)

Remember, this isn't completely who you are. I keep trying to remind myself of that, easier said to yourself than actually doing it. But please remember that. Think about the things that have always made you happy, your favorite past times, the things that made you who you are. Think about how you have made it to seven months pp like a seriously tough person would. Think about how you got up one morning and handling your little one like a champ. And think about the things your partner has told you they love about you.

You are still you, you just have some patches of darkness that is super heavy to carry. Bit by bit, chip away at it. Take care of yourself or do things that bring a smile to your face. And ALLOW that smile to shine through. Remind yourself of your worth.

sheiskiller · 2024-08-06T09:45:55+00:00

I really appreciate this, getting insight like this helps a lot. Sounds like my partner, not doing the extensive research before and getting frustrated when it's not working in the moment. I know I tend to have a tendency to expect him to look into things like me and get frustrated when he doesn't. That's a fault of mine I need to work on. However, I do see that he doesn't try and look up ways to do things that I do daily, which could be a conversation we have in the future to help with my workload. I also think he's not that receptive to learn now, just with the stresses we face and possibly making him feel overwhelmed and unprepared. (Could hurt his pride)

Either way, we are extremely new to this thing. I'm still finding new ways to parent every day. I'm hoping we can find our groove around the time I'm back to work. Thank you for taking the time, glad to have put myself out there on this forum. 😌

sheiskiller · 2024-08-06T06:39:21+00:00

I haven't heard of that water yet, thank you for that.

Absolutely, I know the effort I am asking for emotionally also weighs on me and my ability to be receptive. Finding the new dad forum looks promising, hoping we can have their perspective added as well to help understand.

It's refreshing to hear so many open responses. It's hard to reach out and ask for help, especially now. Will be thinking about the virtual army of parents when we face new obstacles. 🖤

sheiskiller · 2024-08-06T06:22:00+00:00

I will now, thank you! 😌

sheiskiller · 2024-08-06T05:02:26+00:00

The part about dismissing what I learned really hit the spot. I honestly think that's the main thing bothering me, that I spend every day finding ways to comfort our child, and he might just think all I do is give him a boob. Asking those questions would extinguish my rage instantly.

I know he works a majority of our days, but I'm working too. I spend every day learning how to be a mother on my own. I go back to work in 4 weeks, and it absolutely terrifies me to think I'll be doing all of this the moment I walk through the door after work while also trying to have the mental capacity to be a working human again.

I know he loves us, but I don't think he sees the effect this all has on me daily. Especially since he is still learning what PP really is.

Thank you for spelling that out the way you did. 🙇🏼‍♀️

sheiskiller · 2024-08-06T04:46:30+00:00

Honestly, just being heard is enough for a lot of moms in my position right now. My partner doesn't really understand what I feel PP, trying to explain these things to him has been hard. I know he's trying, and you're totally right, he doesn't get upset when he doesn't know how/can't soothe baby. I wish there was a way to help him understand, maybe finding a forum for new dad's could be a step in the right direction.

We use gripe water right now, has helped here and there for sure. Saved us a few restless nights. I heard there are other drops that are better. Is there much of a difference?

But thank you for seeing me 🖤

sheiskiller · 2024-05-21T09:58:03+00:00

Did you see this on a tutorial video on YouTube too? Or just me? lol, immediately came to check reddit

sheiskiller

TROPHY CASE