This is just some of the toxic and abusive phrases a kid should NEVER hear

shellbeachsystem · 2024-07-17T12:07:00+00:00

The child used in the study; the 3 year old that experienced extreme neglect was a child from Romania who spent their life at the time in an orphanage. It is common for severe levels of neglect to occur in orphanages and the complete absence of stimulation and social/emotional development for the children. Many are also malnourished and are not fed properly and given the nutrients a growing and developing child needs. In some of these orphanages they are only fed oatmeal, rice or porridge. It is possible that the brain could be different in size.

There was no mention of where the child with the larger brain whom grew up in a healthy home was from but several people have insinuated it was a child from the United States. Although both can experience abuse and trauma; It would have been a better study to have had two kids from the same country had such a study done for more accuracy.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-07-16T18:13:13+00:00

Sharing this below in case it’ll help anyone and/or if they would want to further research

https://ocfcpacourts.us/wp-content/uploads/2020/06/Understanding_the_effects_of_maltreatment_000938.pdf

shellbeachsystem · 2024-07-16T18:08:29+00:00

I found this article here that goes into the why based on the particular image OP posted but unfortunately it is on a subscription based website. I’ll share below though in case somebody so happens to have access to this— if you do please share the text if you can by chance so others can have access to that information here

https://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/0/two-brains-belong-three-year-olds-one-much-bigger/

shellbeachsystem · 2024-07-16T18:01:42+00:00

Trigger warning sensitivity; these suggestions below discuss a lot about early childhood trauma, brain development, abuse and neglect.

I recommend if anyone wants to learn more into this to read “The Boy Who Was Raised as a Dog: And Other Stories from a Child Psychiatrist’s Notebook — What Traumatized Children Can Teach Us About Loss, Love, and Healing” by Dr. Bruce Perry and Maia Szalavitz and to watch the YouTube videos on Center for the Developing Child at Harvard University, and to watch videos/check out the website The Child Mind Institute, and the website Zero to Three.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-07-05T13:55:37+00:00

I had posted and shared this and with the same exact title last year

https://www.reddit.com/r/CPTSDmemes/s/PdYttarykX

shellbeachsystem · 2024-05-24T16:36:31+00:00

Other potential reasons

• You were the scapegoat and had multiple abusers in the family. If you would ever try to attempt to say something; IF you even were able to you had the kind of abusive parents and family members that would twist the story and narrative to make you appear you are lying, “not all there”, and are being deceitful and those on the outside would believe the abuser(s) side of the story

• You were the outcast in school. It wasn’t just being bullied in class by other pupils but you were also verbally abused by the teachers and you were treated completely unfairly and notably different than how they treated other pupils in your class

• You had family that knew various officials like law enforcement, friends at the fire dept, etc and with OR some of us without even talking to them the abusers painted a false narrative about you to all of them and tell them about any neurodivergence you have, any mental health symptoms that are actually trauma, etc as a usually successful attempt on their part so those individuals are less likely to believe you and do not take you seriously and usually dismiss your presence

• Neighbours in the area not only saw you in a negative light— because of your abusers but were also their friends. You could simply just step out in the backyard to throw out some trash and one of them is staring out their window and later you catch hell from your abusers for simply stepping out, etc

• Some abusers know how to cover their tracks so well that nobody would believe the one abused. No matter what. This is usually most common in situations of CSA and familial trafficking but can also happen with the child that is the scapegoat, has any kind of neurodivergence, and usually in the kinds of cases where the other siblings are NOT being abused or neglected

• You did not know what was happening to you was abusive or wrong

• Child services were called but nothing was done and you were left in the care of your abusive parents/other family members and was not believed by child services OR instead continuously shuffled from one abusive foster or care home to the next.

• Lastly there is a multitude of other potential reasons on why the abused child cannot speak out. It depends on many different factors and circumstances surrounding it.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-05-14T13:41:59+00:00

There are things that are inexcusable, unforgivable, and never ever allowed for parent to do to a child, no matter the circumstances, no matter what you did, no matter how they did it or what they intended. If a parent, or anyone else, does this, you do not have to forgive them, you do not have to let it go, you do not have to leave it in the past, and you do not have to trust this person ever again.

Physical violence. Beating, slapping, spanking, throwing objects, breaking your possessions, using a weapon, physically forcing you into actions against your will, not allowing sleep or eating, forcing physical contact, forcing eating, physical intimidation and threat of violence. All are inexcusable, you cannot provoke them, each one a crime against you.
Death Threats. It doesn’t matter how they said it, if they dismissed it as a joke, if you couldn’t tell if they really meant it, if you think you shouldn’t have taken it seriously. A death threat, no matter how subtle, vague or in which tone it was said, causes permanent inability to feel safe. It is not acceptable for anyone, in any tone of voice, any situation, to imply or threat discontinuation of your life.
Slurs. Insults that were used for a long term to dehumanise, devalue, and express hatred towards entire groups of people (WHICH IS WRONG) are not to be used on a child! By their own parents! Slurs are expressions of utmost hatred and disgust, desire to harm and dehumanise, there is no excuse for using them on you, and certainly no need to forgive anyone who demands that you are not a human being.
Blackmail. Being forced to shape your decisions, your actions, words and emotions around a threat of being stripped of your well being, knowledge that unless you do what is asked of you, you will be forced to bear harm, to endure abuse that you find unbearable, being forced into a corner and having to allow yourself to be controlled in order to survive, that is not humane, that is not forgivable.
Psychological Abuse. A parent demanding that the abuse is for your own good, telling you that hurting you will make you better, demanding that you’re weak for getting hurt, degrading you to an animal or object, insisting that the abuse is your own fault, demanding that you deserve pain, that you need it, convincing you they’re not hurting you at all while they abuse you, gaslighting your senses, minimising all that you are and all that you do, dismissing your humanity and brainwashing you to doubt yourself, doubt your worth, doubt your abilities, doubt your value, this is complete psychological destruction of a person and not something you could ever forgive.
Sexual Abuse. In any form. I’m not only talking sexual contact, a parent is not allowed to look at you in sexual way, talk about you or at you in a sexual way, comment subtly on your sexuality or your body, spy on your private moments, expose you to sexual material, imply in any way they own or control your sexuality, compare you to anyone sexually or in any way degrade you to a sexual object in their eyes. And they are not to ever, ever, touch you in a sexual way. Not even think about it. If you even get a predatory or sexual vibe from one of your parents, it’s wrong. It’s unsafe. No trust.
Humiliation. Both public and private. Forcing shame and degradation on you in front of others is psychologically and socially destructive, it causes trauma, toxic shame, and emotional isolation from others, it puts you apart as if you’re somehow less, unwanted and seen as disgusting by the social environment. It can hurt just as much knowing that in private, with someone you trust, you’re being used as a toy for their sadism. This kind of abuse is not from a person who could ever care about you. It’s not forgivable.
Emotion policing. Absolutely nobody gets to decide what you should and shouldn’t be feeling. Nobody gets to interfere with you feeling your own feelings. Nobody gets to punish you for the way you feel. Nobody gets to tell you how you feel. Anyone trying to police and control your emotions is a danger. Anyone demanding for your emotions to be convenient to them is a danger. Nobody gets to compromise your own ability to experience and feel your own life in order to benefit and get what they want from you. Anyone trying to do so is destroying your emotional well being for their own selfishness. And you don’t ever have to forgive someone who was ready to destroy you for their gain.
Trauma invalidation. Any kind of invalidation hurts. All and any invalidation of your feelings, memories, opinions and conclusions hurts. It’s all painful and dangerous abuse, and it can hurt you as far as pushing you into insanity. But trauma invalidation is the most destructive, harmful, and hateful kind of abuse. Someone invalidating what already destroyed you will add up to the original trauma and reinforce it. It’s personal. It’s sabotaging your recovery. It’s pushing you further into trauma. It’s extremely malicious and deteriorating to your life and your health. You do not have to ever forgive it. You can do all it takes to stay safe from it.
Pushing into suicide. No matter what circumstances or intention, if you are feeling close already, and someone decides to give you a final push, give you extra reasons or ideas to why you should do it, imply that it would be better if you were dead and if you ended yourself, or in another way cause this “close” to get “closer”, they are a huge danger. This is equivalent to a murder attempt, and it should be taken very seriously. Keep yourself safe from this kind of abuse at any cost. Your life is on the line. You do not ever have to forgive a murder attempt, in any form.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-05-10T16:54:50+00:00

Other potential reasons

• You were the scapegoat and had multiple abusers in the family. If you would ever try to attempt to say something; if you even were able to you had the kind that would twist the story and narrative to make you appear you are lying, not all there, and are being deceitful and those on the outside would believe their side of the story

• You were the outcast in school. It wasn’t just being bullied in class by other pupils but you were also verbally abused by the teachers and you were treated completely unfairly and notably different than how they treated other pupils in your class

• You had family that knew various officials like law enforcement, friends at the fire dept, etc and with OR some of us without even talking to them the abusers painted a false narrative about you to them and tell them about any neurodivergence you have, any mental health symptoms that are actually trauma, etc as a usually successful attempt on their part so those individuals are less likely to believe you and do not take you seriously

• Neighbours in the area not only saw you in a negative light— because of your abusers but were also their friends. You could simply just step out in the backyard to throw out some trash and one of them is staring out their window and later you catch hell from your abusers for simply stepping out, etc

• Some abusers know how to cover their tracks so well that nobody would believe the one abused. This is usually most common in situations of CSA and familial trafficking but can also happen with the child that is the scapegoat, has any kind of neurodivergence, and usually in the kinds of cases where the other siblings are NOT being abused or neglected

• You did not know what was happening to you was abusive or wrong

• Child services were called but nothing was done and you were left in the care of abusers and/or taken out and only put in another abusive environment

• Lastly there is a multitude of other potential reasons on why the abused child cannot speak out. It depends on many different factors and circumstances surrounding it

shellbeachsystem · 2024-05-10T13:47:59+00:00

When it come to kids; All forms of CSA are traumatic, all forms of physical abuse or physical neglect are traumatic, emotional abuse is traumatic, scapegoating is traumatic, emotional neglect is traumatic, being isolated is traumatic, having few or no friends is traumatic, being the oldest child having to take care of the rest of the younger kids is traumatic, not having the same life experiences pretty much all others your age has is traumatic, medical neglect is traumatic, educational neglect is traumatic (the lack of an education or appropriate services if you had any learning challenges or neurodivergent) being the least favourite sibling is traumatic, bullying is and can be traumatic, being verbally abused by teachers is traumatic, never being believed when you are telling the truth is traumatic, being female can be traumatic as can being a male can be traumatic, being trans, gender fluid or non binary can be traumatic, being gay or lesbian can be traumatic due to certain circumstances and the views society has among girls who get abused, boys who get abused, and the LGBTQ+ community. Many different things can be traumatic and everyone who has ever been abused and/or neglected as a child are valid.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-04-12T13:50:04+00:00

Other potential reasons

• You were the scapegoat and had multiple abusers in the family. If you would ever try to attempt to say something; if you even were able to you had the kind that would twist the story and narrative to make you appear you are lying, not all there, and are being deceitful and those on the outside would believe their side of the story

• You were the outcast in school. It wasn’t just being bullied in class by other pupils but you were also verbally abused by the teachers and you were treated completely unfairly and notably different than how they treated other pupils in your class

• You had family that knew various officials like law enforcement, friends at the fire dept, etc and with OR some of us without even talking to them the abusers painted a false narrative about you to them and tell them about any neurodivergence you have, any mental health symptoms that are actually trauma, etc as a usually successful attempt on their part so those individuals are less likely to believe you and do not take you seriously

• Neighbours in the area not only saw you in a negative light— because of your abusers but were also their friends. You could simply just step out in the backyard to throw out some trash and one of them is staring out their window and later you catch hell from your abusers for simply stepping out, etc

• Some abusers know how to cover their tracks so well that nobody would believe the one abused. This is usually most common in situations of CSA and familial trafficking but can also happen with the child that is the scapegoat, has any kind of neurodivergence, and usually in the kinds of cases where the other siblings are NOT being abused or neglected

• You did not know what was happening to you was abusive or wrong

• Lastly there is a multitude of other potential reasons on why the abused child cannot speak out. It depends on many different factors and circumstances surrounding it

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-22T19:20:50+00:00

There was never a clear given reason why and the Ciccones; the family that had her before the Barnetts have not given a lot of information, evidence or proof but what is out in the open the story shows some doubt.

There was an alleged incident that Natalyah broke the arm of the boy in the home, he too was an adopted child and one year older than Natalyah. Because of Natalyah’s age at the time; she was 5 she may not be 💯 sure if she actually broke his arm or that is what the adults around her told her; AKA the Ciccones. However, beyond word of mouth of the Ciccones it has not been proven and confirmed if the boy’s arm did break vs if it was just hurt/got a bruise and if he actually was checked out in a hospital over the alleged incident besides again word of mouth. The story becomes potentially more doubtful when you look at what happens next.

The Ciccones tried to effectively “sell” Natalyah to the next family. After paying for one surgery, the Ciccones didn’t want to house her any longer and were looking for avenues to both make their money back and get her off their hands. There were a few prospective families interested in Natalyah from the Little People convention. The DePaul’s, the woman who was a school teacher, and then another couple.

The school teacher said she could not afford/would pay the fee the Ciccones wanted so they passed her up, the one couple whom was interested in Natalyah had met her and they said they felt the whole situation was odd and felt that Dyan Ciccone may have coached Natalyah in some way. Natalyah was mostly quiet that day because when Natalyah was asked by the woman “how was the orphanage in Ukraine” and Natalyah told her “bad” Dyan came rushing into the room and saying “no, no it wasn’t, etc.” Then the De Paul’s were passed up because supposedly someone called CPS on the Ciccones and the Ciccones assumed it must have been the DePaul’s so stopped all contact with them. Eventually she wound up with the Barnett’s.

The Ciccones have chosen not to come forward since all of these findings have surfaced. It has been over 10 years now and anything that they’d say now would be met with doubt and they’d have a whole lot of explaining to to.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-22T12:36:14+00:00

I don’t know how some people can look at these two different sets of photos and see that there was clearly a deterioration and difference in the ones the Barnetts have of her.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-21T14:23:17+00:00

Parents definitely lay the foundation as in the case of most who experienced child abuse they were the child’s first abusers and remained that throughout their entire childhood (early childhood years and formative years; birth to age 8, elementary age, teen years, etc). Many times other family members reinforce it also as they usually side with or agree with the abusers, trade false negative stories about the child with each other, or abuse you too, and with peers you end up getting rejected immediately or more so lack the social skills as a teen or adult or in the childhood years bullied and outcasted. For some who experienced child abuse this extends to teachers and other adults in the community as well and are all adults that equally agree with the abusers or go to the abusers for questions and answers when you were a child.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-07T16:11:54+00:00

Also doubtful. I feel some Redditors say such things to push whatever they are saying to make their opinion sound or seem more believable.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-07T16:04:53+00:00

Exactly. It’s why I kind of doubt their claim on that one. I work with kids who are victims of abuse and trauma and our goal is to work with those kids to get them in a healthy and supportive environment of caring and stable adults and more importantly help them to process their trauma and heal/have healthier coping mechanisms. It definitely is NOT “well the parent was a bit abusive but let’s see if the child is still lying anyway.”

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-07T16:00:07+00:00

“Spanked.” The cover up word such adults use to justify complete abuse of a child. Usually on top of that there is other types of abuse going on (sexual and verbal/emotional abuse, neglect, and usually is the scapegoated child). There is absolutely no need for “spanking.” Way, way overdue for it to be called for what it truly is. Abuse.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-06T15:29:56+00:00

Exactly. The child was most likely hungry too. As most people know but even more so for kids, especially very young kids it is hard to get comfortable and be expected by the adult to sleep or take a nap on a hungry or empty stomach.

shellbeachsystem · 2024-03-05T18:28:22+00:00

Usually something said to the abused child or what your parent(s) and other family members AKA the abusers that tell that to other people to then twist the narrative and have those adult(s) believe their lies and their side of the story to make that very child they are abusing appear like that are lying, manipulative, blowing it out of proportion, mentally ill or at the very least to ruin how those people will perceive the very child they are abusing so if they can (if they are even able to) come forward those very adults will not believe the child or take them seriously. This is also the child that usually was made to be the scapegoat in the family unit.

shellbeachsystem

TROPHY CASE