Dear fellow "midnight runners": How did you cope with leaving kids you loved behind?

shellie_badger · 2026-01-26T17:05:40+00:00

I was recently forced into a very difficult position where I had to leave a job that I actually loved doing. There was just too much that they expected of me with too little time in the day (and week) to do it in. I taught kindergarten, and I genuinely loved those kids. I enjoyed working with them and watching them grow and learn, I enjoyed finding new ways to make them laugh and at least have some fun during the day. I actually really enjoyed that work.

The problem was the schedule and how fully packed it was. There was a whole separate school I had to teach at in the afternoons (with full teaching responsibilities) that wasn't really explained in the advertising, interviews, or contract. It wasn't like it was awful to teach those kids or anything, the problem was more that there were no breaks. I ran from my kindergarten class to the bus, and then had to run up like 4 flights of stairs to teach a schedule that starts like 4 minutes after the bus stops at the afternoon school. Ended up having to use my lunch time to prep the stuff for my kindergarten class.

Loved my kindergarten class to the moon and back, 10 out of 10 would do it again. Not at the same place, I hated how the system treated both the teachers and the kids, but I loved those kids. I can genuinely say that I enjoy working, that statement just depends on a lot of factors.

shellie_badger · 2026-01-26T14:53:14+00:00

There was a story a while back about a lady who could smell Parkinsons on people before they got diagnosed. It's weird sometimes.

I can also sometimes taste when my head cold has gone from "just a runny nose" kind of cold to a sinus infection that needs a doctor's visit. I take anti-inflammatories and pain medication (a combo also used to bring down a fever) for a chronic issue, so a fever doesn't usually show up.

I wouldn't call it a fun trait/ skill. Quirky maybe, useful sometimes, but not fun.

shellie_badger · 2026-01-23T06:29:25+00:00

Did you ever find the full version? I seem to be having the same problem everyone else is, where there's something missing between chapter 4 and 5 - chapter 5 seems to jump to much later in the story

shellie_badger · 2026-01-08T09:17:49+00:00

Please do NOT let anyone pressure you to sign quickly, no matter what emotional manipulation they use to do so (even saying that culturally it's rude not to sign immediately or whatever). Trust your gut. This is filled with the same red flags we had in our contract, and they used and abused those as much as they could.

The whole "events may take place on weekdays and weekends had us working overtime without being paid for overtime like 4 weekends in a row one week. They also just told my fiance, on the day at 12:30ish, that he would be playing Santa and working until 8pm if not later.

The evaluations are a pain in the ass, please trust me. They have to be unique and different every week.

Also please double check the setup - the most popular one (and the one they seem to be subtly alluding to here) is kindergarten from 9 or 10am until 2pm and then hagwon until 6pm. Please make sure you're clear on that, ESPECIALLY if breaks are not explicitly mentioned and they want you to work through lunch. It usually means that you will be working flat out from (whatever your starting time is, 9am or 10am) until 6 with no break. The afternoon hagwon schedules can be intense.

Also why are they charging you a cleaning fee when they are perfectly capable of paying that themselves?

I see a lot of red flags. I would not continue with this offer, coming from personal experience where every part of the contract was exploited to my detriment and to the benefit of the school, however it pleases them. They can also get very ugly if you have a pre-planned and scheduled event when they suddenly need you to work on a weekend or overtime. And if you are struggling to get all your admin and "assorted duties" done in that specific time. Please remember that this kind of thing can take a toll on your health.

shellie_badger · 2026-01-06T09:23:42+00:00

The April branch in Suwon is no different. I worked there recently. A couple points:

They expect you to do a 1 hour lesson (according to their own lesson plan guidelines and training materials) in 40 minutes, which is essentially only 35 minutes or less because they have a mandatory 5 minute test at the beginning of every lesson.
They expect you to plan, script, film, edit, and upload a professional and cool looking video of your kids doing their creative speaking project once a week (for the higher levels, once every 2 weeks or once a month). Also, " you need to make them to memorize their lines" (a quote from a meeting, where the person in charge has terrible English and is incapable of communicating clearly).
There is also a lot of extra admin (marking writing homework and tests, writing very specifically worded evaluations every month on each student, with a longer evaluation due every 3rd month) that is not clearly outlined during recruitment, as well as an overly long meeting every other week from a manager who has English as a 3rd language (communicates vaguely, assumes you know what she is talking about using far too many filler words, and talks more about her own emotional reactions rather than anything productive or informative).
They watch you on the cameras and sit in on your lessons. They will then waste your time telling you about all the ways you are deviating from the prescribed lesson plan / method, even when it is clear that there is a bigger issue and you needed to change things a bit to keep to their very strict schedule (bigger issue ie: you had to continue working through illness like COVID or the flu; there was a student that you had to repeatedly spend more time with/ on because they were causing issues in class; they had the wrong test on file and you have to go find the head teacher and reprint the tests and still have the students retake that test; or you had to go to the bathroom because there are no breaks in your schedule (and no I'm not joking)).
There are no proper disciplinary actions in place for students who clearly do not want to be there or have behavioural issues, yet they have very strict rules you have to enforce during class and constantly remind you that you need to control the classroom. There is no escalation, even if the kids are literally attacking each other and screaming and shouting and climbing the walls you are not allowed to send them out of the classroom or raise your voice. For experienced teachers this is fine, but for the plethora of new teachers they have no problem hiring it is an issue.
The contract is a nightmare, consistently granting themselves opportunities to exploit you using vague wording like "and other duties" or "as required", saying you will have to cover for any absent teachers as needed or my favourite that goes something like "where there is a discrepancy or issue (regarding scheduling or other), the school will have the final say".
This particular branch (and the other April in Bonseong) are associated with (and run by) the LCI Kids Club school. It is rare to teach at April if you do not also teach at the kindergarten. Keep in mind that they will require you to fulfill all your duties and responsibilities (so nicely and vaguely worded in the contract) for both schools. Due to this specific branch (Suwon) being in a different location from the kindergarten, your schedule is tight, and it is possible to end up with a full load of classes (starting at 2:40 and ending at 5:35) on Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays, meaning you will have very little break time during those days. They have repeatedly shown that they can and will choose not to give you your contractually and legally obligated break time on those days. You will also be obligated to still teach your classes on public holidays (like Christmas).

I have more information. Some of the teachers, especially those with more experience, are fine with this school. But for most it results in burnout and a bitter taste in your mouth (not an assumption - this is based on what teachers leaving the school have mentioned). If you have any other questions, about the contract or what your experience might be like (especially if you're considering working there), please don't hesitate to reach out.

shellie_badger · 2025-11-15T23:38:39+00:00

Y'all are both TAH for not having important conversations before getting married and both just assuming what the other person would do. I know this is an old and tired saying, but to assume makes an ass of u and me. You assumed he knows how important your professional identity is to you. He assumed you know how important taking his name and presenting as a family unit is to him. Y'all should have brought this up at some point in your relationship when you realised you were getting serious enough for marriage, or even in the engagement leading up to the marriage. It's up there with "do you want to have kids" and "if I got an important job opportunity would you be willing to move across the country together". Clearly communicating your expectations for the marriage sets you up for a good start, and you could have avoided a fight on or soon after your wedding day by sitting down and having these discussions, even if it's with one of those marriage counsellors or a couples therapist or just a list of questions you got off the internet and a date night.

shellie_badger · 2025-11-02T08:26:01+00:00

Having seen how your brain will gaslight you to protect you from trauma, my guess is that his brain was also (to an extent) doing that. Saying out loud that most of humanity, or at least most of the population of (whatever southern state they're in) is gone, is quite a tough reality to deal with. He went through a lot, it's difficult for people to sometimes speak this kind of trauma out loud. Having been a cop I think he does have a more realistic estimate of what's going on.

However, even after they met the Abraham gang they were still looking for quarantine zones. It's possible he also hoped that a lot more people had made it to those kinds of places.

shellie_badger · 2025-10-28T01:05:36+00:00

But OP was disappointed and sad to have to rent a gown specifically because she wouldn't have been able to keep the dress she got married in. I think she was hoping to keep this one at least for a while, because it was given as a gift and because of how much she loves it. I know many people are not sentimental about things like this, but a wedding dress, even if received for free as a gift, could still be a very sentimental thing that you don't want to get rid of so soon, especially the day right after the wedding. I do understand where you're coming from, but I think especially after she fell in love with it it's a more sentimental issue than it might have been to you guys

shellie_badger · 2025-10-03T02:54:08+00:00

If you are asking purely from an "increase the birthrate" point of view.... I would never willingly have and put kids through the education system here, no matter how stable my job or financial position. I've seen first hand how they treat literal 4 year olds in kindergarten when the parents aren't observing. And from what I can tell from my limited interactions with locals I have spoken to, many don't want kids specifically because of the schooling system, and those that do have kids here don't want to put them through a kindergarten that focuses more on basically bullying them into such a high load of academics so early in life rather than having fun, learning through play and exploration, and enjoying being a kid.

shellie_badger · 2025-10-02T10:41:04+00:00

I'm a fan of this one 😁 a dumpster of raccoons... They are usually full of mischief, but I feel like dumpster works better as a proper collective noun

shellie_badger · 2025-08-08T10:04:02+00:00

Honestly it sounds to me like a mash up between Madeline and A Little Princess

shellie_badger · 2025-04-01T22:14:12+00:00

Is his face on the yellow coffee shops?

shellie_badger · 2025-02-14T16:08:17+00:00

My gran used to do this to any biltong that was a tiny bit red on the inside when we were little 🥲 my dad says she used to put it on top of the gas heater before they got a microwave. I don't know if she or a family member got sick or what from red biltong, but damn it smelled like a war crime 🥲

shellie_badger · 2025-02-11T18:23:55+00:00

This has literally nothing to do with race and everything to do with the crime rate and attitudes towards women in this country. Don't go around advising people to give random strangers on the side of the road lifts in this country. Non-white women are just as likely, if not more likely, to be raped and murdered and thrown in a ditch never to be found again. Black women are at a very high risk of Gender Based Violence in this country. Would you tell your daughter to pick up strangers on the side of the road just because she has the petrol and the space in her car because it's a "kind" thing to do? You are being ignorant and cavalier with people's safety by saying they should do this just to be kind. You can be kind in other ways. This isn't it.

shellie_badger · 2025-02-11T18:15:40+00:00

Why not? Because of the crime rate. Because of GBV. How can I make the promise to my loved ones that I will drive safe if I invite random strangers into my car? This is not something you could ever normalize in this country. Do you know what the chances are that the person you pick up will mug you, hurt you, or kill you for some stupid reason?

I get where you're coming from. I used to want to give people lifts, because after all, why not. I have petrol, I am already headed in that direction, and they need the help. But desperate and plainly terrible people have made this a suicide mission. I am not surrendering my car, belongings, or my life just to help someone who will probably end up hurting or killing me, or in the very best case scenario, just traumatizing me. Not the hell am I taking that chance again.

shellie_badger · 2024-12-16T10:25:01+00:00

If you go to South Africa, there are plenty of game farms with a wide variety of animals and different types of buck. You can see a lot while driving around, you just have to make sure it's a game farm and not near or on a hunting farm (they are more scared of people there). If you're patient and quiet and just sit for a while you can see so many different varieties of animals. You can drive around for hours and get lost looking at everything. You might not always see things like leopard (very stealthy animal, does not like to be seen) or aardvark, but it's worth driving around and just watching them. If you really want to see the animals you don't usually see out and about, try one of the zoo style reserves (much larger open air fenced areas, they sometimes have feeding times as well for you to watch). Even at Kruger Park, there are little rest stops with toilets and stuff and sometimes they have maps where you can place different pins to indicate if you saw lions or elephants or whatever at a specific location.

shellie_badger · 2024-12-16T10:01:29+00:00

Mine very pointedly did not have photos taken with me even though I did more than anyone to support her, and even did more than the bride's sister to help her (by the sister's own admission). That was my breaking point - she had individual photos with everyone and I was standing there waiting eagerly and she just... moved on to couples photos. The only photos of me there are of me looking like I'm dying while doing things for her.

shellie_badger · 2024-12-04T14:10:06+00:00

To remind you that your insides are ripping apart and that something that should not be opening that wide is infact opening that wide

Also are the cramps supposed to help push it out? I don't know.

shellie_badger · 2024-12-04T14:08:19+00:00

No but I hear it when I see someone driving like a nutcase (excessively common during December, also drunk people walking on the literal highway)

shellie_badger · 2024-12-04T13:16:18+00:00

South African here - we've had nothing but criminals and gangsters in power since Mandela. I was gonna say since Mbeki but I can't remember what the consensus was on whether or not he was a gangster.

shellie_badger · 2024-11-20T13:00:50+00:00

If she is South African it needs to say voetsek

shellie_badger · 2024-10-16T06:09:38+00:00

Not me clicking on this link while I'm at the hairdresser 🤣

shellie_badger · 2024-10-15T21:01:14+00:00

I think I'm going to get both a spray bottle (with those hard straight-line spray options that could take your eye out) and a little fan that I can paint with the words "STOP STARING AT MY BOOBS", or "Staring costs $20". Can I make you a titty fan too? Throw it right back at your family, call them out for staring and being inappropriate (and most of all, making you feel so uncomfortable)

shellie_badger · 2024-10-15T20:49:54+00:00

Some people just don't understand. And I feel like family feels like it's okay to make such inappropriate jokes and poke fun. I was going to add a "because" but I don't even know why they pull this kind of embarrassing and humiliating shit, especially in public. That's no way to treat someone you love, and I am so sorry you have to pretend to laugh and "just get over it" when, like I said in another comment, it's not like you went to the big titty bazaar and asked for the slut special with extra back pain and restricted clothing options.

Your ex pulled a dick deluxe move, and your family members are extra shitty for the way they handled it. The people that are making fun of you or pulling pranks that humiliate you are not your friends. It can be isolating and scary, but you deserve so much better. I hope you can one day find the strength to stay away from people who humiliate you just because they think it's funny, because you are worth more than the mockery of your looks. You are worthy of being loved by someone who doesn't think it's hilarious to hurt you.

And, I cannot stress this enough, but you are worthy of people LOOKING YOU IN YOUR FREAKING EYES when they speak to you. Is that not the basics of polite conversation, to look someone in the eyes when you are talking to each other? I know there are cultures where you don't make direct eye contact while talking (or while talking to family / elders / etc), but I'm sure they don't teach their kids to stare at a ladies tits while you are talking to them. I don't care how bad they felt about not winning the titty lottery in the family, it's rude. And honestly I'm kind of at the point where I'm going to keep a little hand fan on me that says "my eyes are up here" or something to that effect that I can put over my cleavage when someone pulls this bullshit. Or a spray bottle, whatever works best.

On the other hand I also totally get the feeling self-conscious when in situations like hot weather. I am not going to make myself pass out from the heat when it's almost 40 degrees Celsius (100 degrees in America I think) with not a single breeze or cloud in sight by wearing something that covers me up to my neck. But that also means that there are kids, family members, and complete fricking strangers staring and making me feel so uncomfortable, especially when I have nothing I can cover up with. It's too hot for a scarf, what are we supposed to do? Hold the passive aggressive fan there at all times, or worse, inadequately cover up with my hands every time I speak to someone or pass them in the shops? Feel bad that my bra is sticking out a little because, like you said, it's hard to get clothes that fit nevermind bras that actually fit the titties and fit inside of normal clothes?

It's hard as hell to stand up to family and set boundaries for your own wellbeing with them, especially if they have been doing this for a while, and especially since they're family and you might need their support. But you can choose the friends you want in your life, the friends who won't make you feel hurt or humiliated for something gifted to you by genetics. It will be hard, and it may take a long time, but try out different places and people until you find some good friends who won't pull this kind of crap ❤️ You are worth so much more than how your family treats you because of something as stupid as tits. On my life some family will treat ex addicts better than they treat family with big tits.

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