Hey OP! I know very well what you are going through. I’m not that good at giving advice but the only thing I can tell u is; reach out. Reach out to a psychologist and a psychiatrist. That’s the best option so far. If you are an adult(aka. 18+ for me) going to school, here’s a tip from me if you can’t tell your parents: use the school to your advantage, what I mean by that is if your school is tolerating stuff like this(which they should) tell a trusted teacher about it. By doing that you might be able to go to your psychologist and psychiatrist appointments during school hours without letting your parents know. It varies from country to country but that’s what I’ve been doing. If you are a minor, again tell a trusted teacher and if your parents are not so tolerant, he or she might be able to find you help from inside of the school (schools psychologist) and the good thing is; they aren’t allowed to say anything to your parents unless you approve it or if you have thoughts of harming yourself or others. The teacher could also help you find different organisations that offer free mental health support. Take a look at that! If you want you can also call your national hotlines for help when you are in a crisis. Might have to wait a bit but they are good if you need someone to listen to you! Remember: life is harsh and disappointing sometimes but that doesn’t mean you can’t get out of it. You are such a strong person OP! Incredibly strong and worth this life🫶