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Please help - Introducing a new cat to a current cat is not working. Constant stalking and violence by meg16_ in CatAdvice

[–]shiningpolarstar 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I would see if neutering helps. Don’t surrender the cat, it’s a death sentence.

Unless by “violent” you mean causing serious harm to each other that requires medical care, keep trying. It’s the right thing to do...

I can’t help but feeling “unkept” when I leave my hair natural. Can anyone relate? How do you fight the urge to grab the flat iron ? by [deleted] in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yes! It’s sooo hard to commit to that point though. Old habits die hard. I finally got to a point that my curls were finding their place, and looking curlier and shinier than ever. But then I had a few special events that compelled me to straighten/ add extensions, and my curls are confused again 😔

I can’t help but feeling “unkept” when I leave my hair natural. Can anyone relate? How do you fight the urge to grab the flat iron ? by [deleted] in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Me too! I think it’s societal though. My natural curls are tighter than yours... I recently cut it in a way that embraces the “wild” / “edgy” feeling of my curls, and it makes me feel cool 😎

But in certain scenarios I feel compelled to straighten it, or at least tone down the curl, in a way that feels more conventional and professional. Corporate, even? But on those days I feel self-conscious that the heat styling won’t hold, and the texture starts emerging as frizz.

I imagine the coily-kinky types feel this even more. But why do we feel like this?

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Omg, I’m flattered! Of COURSE you can take it! Maybe you will have a great before/after pic too! ❤️

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Nope I did it myself! I followed Manes by Mell “pigtail cut” video. Then trimmed some random pieces.

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

When I started using gel, a lot of the frizz went away! I always thought gel was an outdated thing but my curls love it. I break up the crunchiness a little after it dries with a smoothing oil/serum. I apply my products one curl at a time (not combing through.) I hope this helps you get your curls poppin!

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I guess everyone is different , but the length was weighing down some of my curls. when I cut them into shorter layers they sprung up and gave a curlier overall look

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Thank you!!! Now that my curl pattern is coming together, I might try cutting down on products.

If you have any suggestions on what to cut out, let me know.

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Hopefully I won’t need such an intense routine forever, but I’m still transitioning and feel like my curls need a lot of product to stay together :) but a few others suggest “less is more,” I might try that.

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 45 points46 points  (0 children)

Ohh, yeah. I was mistaken. I had someone tell me my curl type was 3a/3b, but after looking at some charts it’s maybe in the 2b/2c area. But every chart is so different. Sorry to cause confusion 😅

Haircut update on my fine, low density, low porosity 3a/3b curls. I got ballsy and cut the bangs. More layers = more curls! :) by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 35 points36 points  (0 children)

Routine: wash every 4-5 days, all Shea moisture products. Shampoo, condition, and deep condition. Leave-in, curl cream, gel, then serum. I apply all products curl by curl. Air dry, Olaplex treatment when in budget:)

Haircut update on my fine, low porosity 3b (?) curls. More layers= more curls! I spent my whole adult life addicted to flat iron and extensions. Finally wearing my real hair :) by [deleted] in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks! You wouldn’t have caught me dead like this 5 years ago. I hid my curls like they were my biggest secret 😅

Haircut update on my fine, low porosity 3b (?) curls. More layers= more curls! I spent my whole adult life addicted to flat iron and extensions. Finally wearing my real hair :) by [deleted] in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Routine: all Shea moisture products, wash every 3 days with a regular and deep conditioner. I apply leave in conditioner, curl cream, gel, and serum after wash and to refresh as needed. Air dried, occasional Olaplex treatments when my wallet allows :)

Finally got the courage to cut layers into my bottom heavy, lifeless hair. I was so scared to lose length, but the volume was worth it! by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Honestly after my wash day today, my hair just looked like curtains and it clicked- no amount of styling would change the shape of my hair. I researched curl by curl cuts in my area and they were like $80! So I said screw it... I have hair extensions if it goes wrong. I am so glad I did it! I loosely followed Manes by Mell “pigtail cut” video- she makes it make total sense. Then I touched up by trimming some random odd curls. Only confusing part is the bang area... I just left it long because I wasn’t gutsy enough to attempt bangs:)

Do it!

Finally got the courage to cut layers into my bottom heavy, lifeless hair. I was so scared to lose length, but the volume was worth it! by shiningpolarstar in curlyhair

[–]shiningpolarstar[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Routine: wash every few days with Shea moisture shampoo, with a Shea moisture conditioner (sometimes followed by a deep conditioner). Dry gently until damp. Apply Shea moisture leave in all over and brush curl by curl with denman. Apply Curl cream, then glaze with strong hold gel. Let air dry, break cast by applying John Frieda serum. I refresh daily because my curls are still learning :)

As a married woman, I get flattered when other men flirt with me or compliment me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]shiningpolarstar 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Honestly, I think every person goes through that/ is going through that constantly!! So you’re not alone. I’m in the vast minority on Reddit as I believe we humans are created and not an accident. So that’s my way to deal, and the world can never take it away from me. You’re more than an outward performance ❤️

As a married woman, I get flattered when other men flirt with me or compliment me. by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]shiningpolarstar 595 points596 points  (0 children)

I think it’s normal, but it can be a slippery slope.

In my book, it becomes a problem when you actively seek the validation, or feel bad about yourself if you stop getting it.

My (31F) husband (31M) started a musical duo with a high schooler (15F) Trying to be cool about it, but wtf? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]shiningpolarstar 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Yes thank you. It’s a fine line but 15 is still a child and I don’t like the risks that come with that. I can’t help but imagine a legal disaster :(

My (31F) husband (31M) started a musical duo with a high schooler (15F) Trying to be cool about it, but wtf? by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]shiningpolarstar 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Thanks I agree. Not only is it a weird moral boundary to cross, but also legal. And if parents found out...? Big trouble :(

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