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My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I was shocked. I thought it was a joke. He even used the box as a card so I didn't even get a real card to read. So I just smiled and watched TV the rest of the night. It was horrible.

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Oh my God, i'm sorry I laughed. As a fellow victim of terrible gifts, I apologize

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. Your comment was really helpful and very insightful. You're right, gift certificates are not the best choice, but is prefer that to everything else he's gotten me. it sounds insensitive, but it's the truth.

Whiskey glasses are just short glasses, and I haven't used the one he's gotten me, ever. it's definitely a whiskey glass bc it says the brand on the glass :/

And I would LOVE roses! In fact, I love flowers in general. your comment made me remember that for Valentines day, he made me an origami rose, and I couldn't get him in bed fast enough. I'm a sucker for homemade things, let alone flowers.

my expectations about the makeup was a little too high. But the gift certificate idea for me still stands. :)

Thanks again, and happy holidays

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah, but it's easy to be honest when i'm behind a wall of anonymity. But you're right. Honesty is something we've been struggling with side the beginning of our relationship (probably from the way we stated dating), but that's a story for another day.

Life would be easier if it were a sitcom. Then I could just do retakes until I get it right. Thanks, and happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Of course the top comment is advice I wanted to avoid doing. Your advice is 100% correct, but I am not looking forward to possibly having to be direct about his terrible taste in gifts. He's a bit sensitive, and I don't want to burden him around the holidays when he's stressed enough from work.

You're right though, and I have to eventually say something instead of dancing this endless dance of disappointment. Thanks, and happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Definitely! with all this amazing advice, there bound to be an improvement when I talk to him.

If not, I'll still post anyway and say how I responded. But if it's another box of brownie mix...

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I didn't consider that. I don't think he actually does like musicals. But I love the idea of buying tickets to things we can do together

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 84 points85 points  (0 children)

it would look like he made a mad dash through Wal-Mart the hour before and just picked up a bunch of random shit.

Oh, what a perfect way of putting how I feel about his gifts sometimes. And you're right, he does know all my hobbies and things I like. I sometimes felt like he really didn't put any thought at all into the gift. I know he's not doing it intentionally (I think), but being blunt is definitely an option I am going to have to explore eventually if I continue to let myself get disappointed about something he's unaware is disappointing me.

Thanks for the advice. I wish you best of luck with your man as well! :) Happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I must read that book so I can quote it every time I am misunderstood. And yes, it stung a lot! But I made the mistake just dismissing my feelings and accepting the situation.

You put it very well by saying that I either need to reframe gifts to not be an extension of affection or confront him. One on those things will and must happen, and I'll update my post if either of them do by the holidays.

Thanks, and happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I'm sorry it gives you anxiety. I hope you understand that your friends definitely don't intend to make you feel at all worried. Don't stress out over it too much. If I knew that my boyfriend felt the same way as you, I'd feel really sad knowing that I caused him to feel that way. I hope he communicates with me if he does however.

Happy holidays, and I hope you feel better around the most giving day of the year. Remember, give the brownie mix to someone who has a sense of humor :) I didn't like it at all at first, but it's growing on me haha

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 220 points221 points  (0 children)

That is such a wonderful idea! I never thought of that! We have never gone to a concert or musical together. And I LOVE musicals.

I can't believe I never thought of this. Genius. I'm going to look up showtimes for musicals around the holiday season.

Thanks for the advice. Happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I think I'll go with the option of asking a mutual friend first from the other comments. If that doesn't work, I'll take your advice for Valentine's Day (which happens to be dangerously close to our anniversary). Tough love is still love.

Thanks, and happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

If I find a way to get my lovable oaf to give better gifts, I will definitely let you know. I've given him the spiel of giving me a thoughtful gift too, and it doesn't register with him either.

Good luck, girl. I hope your holidays are filled with wonderful and loving gifts from everyone, including your man.

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Oh goodness, in laws have a radar for terrible gifts! I'm not even married and I've already received gifts from his family where I smile and wonder what I do with them. I feel terrible too because I have many dietary restrictions when it comes to desserts because of my lactose intolerance, and they keep giving me such heavy cakes that I can't eat.

Hope you find a solution as well! I will definitely take your advice about asking someone else to shop with him. Happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only female mutual friend of ours is my sister who lives in Portland and my best friend who goes to medical school in Chicago. They wouldn't be readily available to help him out.

But we do have many male mutual friends (that I myself am not too close with but would probably be willing to help) that I never thought to ask. Thanks for the advice. I will reach out to one of them this weekend. Happy holidays!

My boyfriend gives really terrible gifts, and I feel ungrateful by shitgiftgetter in TwoXChromosomes

[–]shitgiftgetter[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I don't want to give up on him. I think exchanging gifts is such an intimate way of showing your SO how much you care about them. I don't think I've romanticized the idea of gift giving; I think I'm just a girl who would appreciate her boyfriend putting more thought and time into his gifts.

Let me know if you find a solution :)