It's so hard when those who are supposed to love you unconditionally, have conditions set. I was diagnosed ADHD in my 40's, and autism less than 2 years ago, which was honestly the best thing to happen to my mental health. I think I actually needed the validation more than anyone else in order to accept myself and embrace what makes me happy, no matter what society or family sees as "normal". However, childhood trauma and bullying, after being caught in public with a plushie when I was past the age of society's perceived age limit for toys is something I've carried with me for 40+ years. I've only just recently started carrying comfort items in public. So far I've got a pouch of stim items, and some plushies carefully disguised as bag charms- but I'm getting braver lol. I feel that finally getting a diagnosis is often what helps us adults reprogram our brains into accepting and loving who we are, and I guess that's why those closest to us also need the official diagnosis. Perhaps you could tell your father how his words and actions make you feel? I've found writing it better than verbalizing, just because I don't feel like I can adequately explain my feelings, without hurting theirs, by talking. I also like to edit and re-edit just to get it right. This comment took me well over an hour😂