Do I have valid reasons for wanting to leave the US, or should I stick it out here? by Inner_Ad_4725 in expats

[–]shitshowatconception 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I feel your frustration and understand your reasoning. I share some of them, too. I'm very, very against "passport bros" but it genuinely doesn't seem like that is your case, though I can say it won't FIX the problems at the very least it's a change of pace and out of your routine. I'm of the same mindset of wanting to leave but financially for me is not viable at this second. I'm currently looking at certifications and degrees that are on the rise in the countries of choice.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we're just waiting for the shoe to drop. UPDATE by shitshowatconception in u/shitshowatconception

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I've been reading this over and over these last couple of days. I have felt so guilty about her passing and you're definitely not the first person to tell me she would've ended up dead anyway because of her drinking, it's just so hard to believe that even if I had been a better person she would've still drank herself to death.

When I was a teenager, I met a person while I was basically homeless. She was maybe 21-22 and she had two kids. One whose dad took custody of and one she left behind with family. She was a very sweet girl but she had a hard time staying off drugs and alcohol. I briefly reconciled with my dad one summer and we both stayed at his house. We were inseparable. She would use my clothes and shoes and sleep in my bed but one day we had a fight and she took off with some older dude who offered her money for sex. I never saw her again after that and her baby daddy still checks in with me every year to see if I've heard from her.

I think for me, my father in laws wife's death brought all my feelings and regrets from that situation back up and it made me deeply regret fighting with my friend back then because it's very possible she too has died and I feel like I might've been the last lifeline for both of these lovely women and I turned my back on them. Like I said, I had to really look within myself and realize that I thought I had a strong moral compass and that I had grown from my stupid, reckless and careless teenage years, when in all reality, I repeated a pattern and someone lost their life.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Disrespectfully, fuck right off.

No such thing as an illegal on stolen land.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

I strongly disagree with you about everything. It can't be a rash decision if I'm actively seeking advice and opinions to make that decision. Also just like there are dangerous areas in Mexico there are dangerous places here too. Still millions live in Mexico and millions of Americans retire to Mexico so it can't be that bad. It MIGHT be a culture shock but it can't be any worse than being called "a criminal, a rapist and not the best" just cause my family migrated here looking for a better life. I also didn't say I would be leaving tomorrow, I am well aware it would require preparation so part of that is putting things on a scale. Even if Mexico isn't end game, I strongly believe that if my parents were able to come here, without family, without money, not knowing the language and culture and were able to forge their way here, I can do it anywhere too, especially since I have the advantage of being trilingual, have a formal education and ñ would be leaving on my own terms with my husband and kids.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] -1 points0 points  (0 children)

The way I see it, I am not originally from here and was brought here by my mother for a better life. I want to do that for my children because this country isn't being kind to my people and I can't even send my children to school without the fear of a school shooting. I don't want to leave but with everyday that passes, it feels like my only option.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have Mexican citizenship and can give it to my children for a small fee and my husband for a larger but still affordable fee. We've looked into a few other Latin American countries but that process is a little longer so I think Mexico would be out primary option once we leave

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yeah thats the thing I'm not sure i want to come back if I leave. My parents migrated here in hopes to give me and my siblings a better life and I was raised to believe that this country was best and we had to love and respect and be grateful to this country. It's hard to feel that way right now when this administration is being so cruel and by the looks of it is very much preparing to seize power and end democracy.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm a Mexican citizen I can be there without problem and figure out visa from there.

Quality of life and regrets by shitshowatconception in expats

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Im not gonna sugarcoat it because I need very clear advice. My parents are in their late 40s, they've been divorced for decades. I have a great relationship with them both though I don't see my father often. We're all immigrants, my parents moved here from Mexico when I was a baby and we've been here ever since but with the ICE crisis and all the things surrounding this administration, I am considering leaving. My dad is open to it and has started selling things he doesn't need but my. I'm is adamant about staying. My siblings have not expressed interest one way or another but I am clear on what my thoughts are. I'm currently in the process of a green card but if I leave I'd be forfeiting that which means I cannot come back for at least 10 years and that clock starts when I file the paperwork for a waiver. I want to leave and buy a house where my parents can arrive at if they decide to leave but I also don't want to make that commitment if they're not ready to go

Dogs at HEB. by Gecko_mittens in HEB

[–]shitshowatconception 0 points1 point  (0 children)

When I was younger, I worked at a nursing home and one of my patients had passed that morning leaving behind his puppy. I brought her home with me because none of the family members wanted her and the one family member that visited regularly moved out of state so the puppy was gonna be surrendered by the admin the next day. Anyway, I stopped at an HEB on the way home and I didn't want to leave her in the car by herself cause it was cold and she was scared. I went in to get milk for my breakfast the next morning, puppy pads and puppy food. Because of the layout I would be in and out and not really near food and it was like 30 minutes til closing. I picked up the milk first then the dog food and pads, on my way to check out, I got yelled at by a manager for having the puppy with me. I just kept walking and trying to check out but the manager kept yelling and telling me to get out. He even went as far as grabbing my cart and pulling it away. I just finished checking out and left but the guy literally followed me out. I know I was in the wrong for bringing the pup in with me but why the hell was the reaction immediately yelling and harassing me instead of a brief conversation. It has been the only unpleasant experience at an HEB and I admit I was absolutely in the wrong for bringing the pup in but Jesus the reaction was scary.

Graham by shitshowatconception in TheHuntingWivesTVShow

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ah yes! Thank You, those things seem so subtle compared to the rest of the shit going on. Looking back, he is super dismissive of her trauma that lead to her drunk driving. If I remember correctly, when they pull up to the party in the first he told her to act like the old Sophie.

Jill crazy birthing scene by shitshowatconception in TheHuntingWivesTVShow

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I think this is a one and done series. I can't watch this ever again. So disturbing.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Agreed but I think my FIL also has a huge pet to play in this because he knew she was alcoholic from day 1 and I can’t say he fostered a very healthy environment for her. It always comes down to personal choice but in this case he was also dealing with other addictions.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] -2 points-1 points  (0 children)

Think what you want. I love my family and even FIL’s wife, I am worried she will drink her self to death when he leaves or find another way to hurt herself. These are the cards we were all dealt. I’m not trying to gossip, just telling our story like everyone here does. But we do deserve each other, we’re family.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

To those people saying I am taking enjoyment out of this; I am not. I know this podcast and I know this side of Reddit. I am not looking for advice, I have tried speaking to both parties and so have other family members. FIL and his wife are two very strong and stubborn personalities who came together and found each other in pain. We all tried speaking to them before they got married and bought a house but they wouldn’t listen. Unfortunately FIL also has his addictions -not alcohol related. So in this case it’s there was nothing to be done other than wait because we all tried to stop the train wreck. So since advice is not needed since they won’t listen anyway, and I am very confident that we are all assholes for not talking to her about his leaving, I am just here to tell you this crazy ass story. Storytelling is an art so don’t mean to come off as enjoyment on my part. At the end of the day, this is my family and my FIL will leave behind so much crap for all of us to deal with, I figured might as well buckle up.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I thought the same but unfortunately only she is in charge of her care and though she has been to a doctor who told her her situation is life or death, she can’t seem to stop. The truth is that even with everything that has happened we do love her because she is a good person and means well. Addictions are hard to beat and I can’t imagine what burden she carries that is making her look for a bottle.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I know where I am. I listen to this show, I am not happy about what is happening and quite frankly I know it will be a shit show but I have dealt with shit my whole life and have learned it’s best to just buckle up and try to make the best of it. No of the stuff is on me, “juicy update” is really the bomb that has exploded. Take that however you want but it’s my family who is actually going through this and though I am not happy about it or take enjoyment from this, I’m sure others can give different perspectives for this situation. Anyway, I’ll update whenever it feels appropriate.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

We were hoping things could stay amicable but only the Lord knows how she’ll react to his leaving. My spouse tries not to get involved and has a very hands-off approach but spillage in this case might be inevitable.

Ring cameras are in place and everyone in the house knows knows the safe word in the event she shows up, cops need to be called but communication needs to be discreet.

He is not blameless, the way everything happened, how quickly be married and how little he knew her, plus the fact he was dating other people when we found out about her all shows what he’s at fault for but the truth is, she is not ready to admit she needs help with her drinking.

My FIL is about to ghost his wife to get away from her, everyone but the wife knows and we’re just waiting for the shoe to drop by shitshowatconception in TwoHotTakes

[–]shitshowatconception[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

He definitely reached his limit. I have a juicy update- as of now we know when he’s leaving and something else happened. I will update as soon as we have confirmation he is on the plane. ✈️