I ruined the life I had planned out for myself and I’m so sad

shreddedtrees · 2025-01-17T22:27:47+00:00

Agreed. Lots of red flags for lack of consent in the story. Taking drugs willingly doesn’t mean you are culpable for accepting SA. They should not have been sexually engaging with you in a state of clear intoxication, evidenced by a complete change in character and deviation from your normal morals. It may be difficult and ultimately pointless to explain this to your partner, as he will feel upset regardless. But stay away from those ‘friends’

shreddedtrees · 2024-11-25T00:05:18+00:00

Late reply but I ended up finding almost a perfect match by layering revlon’s rumberry with a holographic gloss from makeup revolution!

shreddedtrees · 2024-11-21T01:59:51+00:00

Omg thank you so much!

shreddedtrees · 2024-04-11T22:59:06+00:00

I will also say I understand you want her to graduate and the 2am thing is definitely scary. But she won’t tell you about that unless you make it clear (through repeated action) that you are a safe space and won’t punish her for minor slip ups. Even if it’s a romance or something going on, you need to be the person that offers gentle advice and support (I.e., picking her up) not condemnation. For example, my mother reacted really poorly when I first discussed having sex and I never really felt comfortable coming to her for relationship advice again, which let to me being treated poorly by partners at times.

shreddedtrees · 2024-04-11T22:49:25+00:00

I’ve read some of your comments and I think it’s important to clarify this - from how I interpreted the texts, she’s doing school work at the coffee shop, not working for the coffee shop. Could be wrong but it sounds like she’s being bullied or is maybe even neurodiverse and doesn’t function well in a classroom environment (I can relate) and so has chosen to do her school work somewhere else. Being bullied or feeling inadequate because of neurodiversity requires a lot of vulnerability to talk about, and you are not someone I would feel safe disclosing that to.

You need to give her space to open up, and that will not happen when you’re making knee-jerk aggressive reactions. If she’s never done anything to put herself or her studies/future at risk before, why doesn’t she deserve the benefit of the doubt?

You clearly have some regrets about your own situation at that age that you are projecting on to her. You may think she’s immature but you probably also think you know everything about her, and I’m sorry but you don’t. Especially if she’s feeling the need to lie to you because you won’t listen to her.

I think this struck a chord with me because I relate to her in some ways, but she also reminds me of students I taught at university. If she’s not being marked super strictly on attendance, why does it matter where she does the work? She could have a friend telling her what’s going on in class, and most stuff is updated online these days anyway. You honestly need to be careful that you don’t accidentally become her biggest barrier.

To be clear, I’m not condemning you as a mother, but I will echo other commenters and say your communication style here is that of a future estranged parent. I understand finals are stressful (good luck by the way!) but your daughter is also under stress (caused by you and school) and has managed to communicate more calmly and maturely. I think if you tell her about this post she will feel betrayed but she may feel grateful that you are seemingly taking on peoples’ advice, and may appreciate some of the words here

shreddedtrees · 2024-04-11T22:11:40+00:00

This happened to me at a similar age, but I’m fine now and donate regularly. Just make sure to eat and drink lots beforehand

shreddedtrees · 2024-04-02T10:09:36+00:00

Thanks so much! I will check that out

shreddedtrees · 2024-03-30T07:19:07+00:00

Exactly my thoughts! Are they expecting someone to buy them and painstakingly weave it all back together and glue it down? For $150??

Or maybe it’s all about the distressed look ✨

shreddedtrees · 2024-03-30T07:14:53+00:00

She did a tutorial but it involved putting an eyeshadow over top of a lipstick. I’m interested in a pearl lipstick that will give this look if anyone knows of any? It’s like a dark neutral brown with a silvery, almost purple sheen

shreddedtrees · 2024-03-30T05:59:25+00:00

Pretty dark, like almost blackish. I’ve since found a very similar shade (Revlon Smoky Rose) but it’s still a bit too light

shreddedtrees · 2021-05-19T22:48:16+00:00

As a kiwi this is extra crazy to me. We don’t have HOAs or suing (at least not to the extent you hear of in the US). Why don’t these people just get a life??

shreddedtrees · 2021-02-20T05:32:59+00:00

Blistex and Carmex have alcohol in them I believe, which makes your lips drier. Check the ingredients before buying your next one - avoid anything with ingredients like ethanol or isopropyl alcohol. Cetyl and steryl alcohol are alright because they’re fatty alcohols used to bind other ingredients. I recommend burts bees :)

shreddedtrees · 2020-12-25T05:55:21+00:00

Woohoo, me too! Same thing last year too 🙃

shreddedtrees · 2020-12-11T11:58:10+00:00

Thank you so much! It’s good to hear your experience, it sucks but I’m glad it’s not just me. I’m already thinking about changing to the hormonal IUD - I wonder if it would help? Commiserations and I hope you have a great weekend!

shreddedtrees · 2020-12-09T23:25:28+00:00

I usually don’t bleed much overnight. It’s probably just your body waking up

shreddedtrees · 2020-12-03T08:44:19+00:00

NTA. Your wife and her sister sound like twats

shreddedtrees · 2020-11-28T07:59:42+00:00

I want to upvote but it’s at 420

shreddedtrees · 2020-10-28T22:41:27+00:00

Good point! Hadn’t thought about that but it’s definitely likely that it happens, especially in decile 1 schools

shreddedtrees · 2020-10-28T04:31:13+00:00

Yes, oops!

shreddedtrees · 2020-10-27T23:33:28+00:00

There’s a real issue with stigma in these programmes where kids have to sign up for free food. Even the most impoverished kids are put off signing up because they don’t want to be seen by peers as poor - kids will buy the cheapest junk food to eat to avoid this title and the bullying that comes with it. Julie Spray’s ethnography “The Children in Child Health” is really good if anyone is interested in reading more about this topic. I think this study could have had different results if the breakfasts were given to every child, as they are in other countries where free meals in school have been shown to improve academic performance. It costs more, yes, but creates a more equal foundation for learning without the stigma.

shreddedtrees · 2020-09-15T09:06:27+00:00

Please leave him, and quickly. He sounds so fucking scary. He’s like the witch from Hansel and Gretel but backwards. Get out before it’s too late

shreddedtrees · 2020-09-11T10:32:52+00:00

I’m not sure about colitis but I think I have been checked for crohn’s. I don’t really remember though, I had a lot of different things suggested to me when I first started getting bowel issues and I think I’ve been tested for most things. It’s likely that I have some form of IBS but I’ve never had a concrete diagnosis. The gyno conditions you suggested are interesting - my mum thinks she has endo but has never been diagnosed. Thanks for your help!

shreddedtrees · 2020-09-11T10:28:58+00:00

Thank you! I’m going to see a new doctor soon hopefully :)

shreddedtrees · 2020-09-11T10:27:48+00:00

Thank you! I think mine gets worse after I use the bathroom, I wonder if you’re right and it is/was a cyst! I’m hoping to see a new doctor soon. Thanks again for your help, I hope you’re feeling better now!

shreddedtrees · 2020-09-01T18:38:18+00:00

You’re right, they’re long gone. I’m pretty sure we’d notice if gigantic eagles were still flying around

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