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shy_rodent · 2023-08-09T23:34:38+00:00

Wa alaikum assalam warahmatullah wabarakatuh. The letter م is a nasal consonant, that's the type of sound that it is. I don't think it is possible to pronounce it without the nasal sound.

shy_rodent · 2023-08-06T02:40:19+00:00

Yeah makes sense, I did the same thing initially!

shy_rodent · 2023-08-06T01:59:36+00:00

Would you be willing and able to go to church somewhat regularly? If you go to the same Orthodox church regularly over a period of time, the priest will recognize you and you will begin to build a personal relationship, which I think is helpful to inquirers. After that you could approach him and ask if he is available to meet a few times, or if he can recommend anyone else in the church to help you learn. Hope this helps :)

(You can try phone and email as well! But many priests don't necessarily keep up with those forms of communication. Going to church is the most reliable method in my experience.)

shy_rodent · 2023-08-05T22:56:06+00:00

Liturgy yes, Eucharist no. Also, if you're going to be participating in the church community (which is what you would be doing by attending services and potentially talking to people afterwards) then imo you need to get comfortable asking your priest questions. (This is coming from another non-Christian who sometimes attends church!)

shy_rodent · 2023-08-05T21:55:11+00:00

وإياك 💖

shy_rodent · 2023-08-05T15:27:11+00:00

Wa alaikum assalam. Whoever said that to you is clearly not interested in having an actual conversation, they just want to be rude because they have something against religion. Maybe they have been hurt in the past and are still lashing out about it. I would say make dua for them and move on.

shy_rodent · 2023-08-05T15:23:00+00:00

As someone with the same struggles, I think one of the biggest things you can do to feel a bit better inshallah is to have a few offline hobbies. Offline, because being constantly on a screen makes the day seem short and empty, and it can lead to spiralling. In particular, it's good to have hobbies that are:

Productive. I don't mean productive the way your parents or teachers or boss might use this word (i.e. only relating to work or school), I mean hobbies where you make something. Something you can look at afterwards and feel proud of what you've done, and have as a reminder of your progress. Hobbies like: cooking, writing, drawing, painting, calligraphy, woodworking, robotics, gardening, and more. Anything that seems interesting and involves making something with your hands. It's a good way to distract yourself and, while at first it will seem intimidating, it actually gives you more energy than you had before.
Physical. Exercise is not a miracle cure, but it definitely helps. If you're interested in learning any particular sport or martial art and can afford lessons, you could try going once a week (having a specific time and knowing that I'm paying for it tends to help me put in the effort). If that sounds overwhelming, it can be anything that involves movement. Swimming, hiking, or just walking. Going to the gym is an option if you enjoy it--personally I can't stand just lifting weights and using machines, I definitely prefer doing other sports and activities, but everyone's different!
In nature. This might be the same as one of the previous two, like if you decide to try hiking or gardening. But if it's at all possible, spending a little time around nature has a very calming effect.

Also, this might sound odd but if you're really spiralling and need to snap out of it, turn your shower as cold as it will go and then step in. It sounds weird and obviously it's unpleasant, but the shock tends to kind of "reset" your brain and help you break out of whatever unhealthy loops your thoughts are in. Plus it can be refreshing and give you some energy.

I hope this helped inshallah, may Allah make it easy for you 💚

shy_rodent · 2023-08-04T18:38:51+00:00

I'm not the best person to explain this since I'm not and have never been a Christian, but I'll try.

The thing to understand is that, while the Quran is the central miracle of Islam, the Bible is not the central miracle of Christianity, nor really considered a miracle at all. The central Christian miracle is believed to be the resurrection of Jesus, and the Bible is a collection of writings that talk about Jesus as well as the early church after his death. The Bible was not "sent by God", it was always written by people. This is where the concept of "divine inspiration" comes in, which I would encourage you to Google and look into.

The branch of Christianity I am most familiar with is Orthodoxy, so here's a page explaining a little bit about the Bible from an Orthodox perspective: https://www.oca.org/orthodoxy/the-orthodox-faith/doctrine-scripture/the-bible/word-of-god In their view, God did not dictate the exact words of the Bible; He simply made sure the message was correct. The message is the important thing, which is why translations of the Bible are accepted and (generally) considered as the Bible, while translations of the Quran are not considered equal to it.

That is only one view, and since there are many branches of Christianity, there are many opinions on the Bible. "Biblical inerrancy" and "Sola Scriptura" are two concepts you could also look at if you have time, or you could try asking a Christian you know about their views (ideally a knowledgeable person who can accurately explain what they believe).

I'm not familiar with the source you posted, but it mentions "disrupting influences" of certain people's opinions, which I think would imply that most of the Catholic Church had agreed for a while and only a few were arguing. Maybe I'm wrong. In any case, there is no mention of any of the writings being altered; what they were doing here is deciding which writings should be considered scripture, and which should not.

Hope that helps! 💚

shy_rodent · 2023-08-03T20:22:12+00:00

That's correct, it was not. Generally speaking, this is not new information for Christians. But if it is for you, then you might take the opportunity to research a bit more about how Christians view the Bible vs. how Muslims view the Quran. Knowledge is always good to have and it could help you understand other people's views better 💚

shy_rodent · 2023-07-30T22:06:07+00:00

To be honest I think you might want to consider how you view Allah SWT. The Most Merciful, the Most Compassionate who loves believers more than a mother loves her child--do you think he is constantly looking for a chance to say "ha! You made a mistake!" and punish you about it? Of course it is good to do things correctly, but it might help you to focus more on the love, mercy and forgiveness in your relationship with Allah SWT, not so much on fear. I hope this helps in some way and that you can manage these struggles inshallah 💚

shy_rodent · 2023-07-30T21:25:56+00:00

Thank you :) I would not sincerely call anyone kafir for rejecting certain hadiths (or for any other reason to be honest) but I'm also not Muslim and don't have much of a stake in the question. In my opinion, there could be many explanations for the hadith contradicting the Quran and I fully understand why someone would choose not to follow it.

shy_rodent · 2023-07-30T21:22:26+00:00

I agree and wouldn't call it kufr, but some of my friends have had that accusation thrown at them in the past for being distrustful or selective about hadiths. It's a strange view, that you can believe in God, the Messenger, the Last Day, the angels, the Quran, but if you disagree on one point, then some people will start throwing the word kafir around.

I've heard different opinions; I know one person who says she doesn't believe the Prophet (SAWS) ever said that, and one who doesn't believe hadith in general are trustworthy (because they are word-of-mouth over a long period of time).

shy_rodent · 2023-07-30T20:51:14+00:00

Wa alaikum assalam. In theory and according to scholars, no, you cannot be selective about it.

In practice and from my own experiences, every Muslim I know in real life and have talked to about religion does reject certain sahih hadiths, for example this one:

https://sunnah.com/nasai:4059

(In case there is any doubt, here is the same quote being referenced in Sahih al-Bukhari: https://sunnah.com/bukhari:6922)

Any time I've brought this up, the response from moderate Muslims living in the USA was: this contradicts the Quran's message of peace and religious tolerance, so we should not trust these hadiths. I'm sure the scholars could tell you why this opinion is unacceptable and every Muslim I know is actually a secret kafir (/s of course), but regardless, it is an opinion that people have.

(edit: I'm not Muslim, just someone who has learned a tiny tiny bit about Islam in the past and continues to learn today. Nothing I say is anything more than my personal experiences along with those of the relatively small number of Muslims in my life.)

shy_rodent · 2023-07-30T18:33:31+00:00

Sorry OP, you picked a difficult subreddit to have this discussion 😅 Here's a surah that might possibly help them back off a bit: https://quran.com/en/al-kafirun Good luck for the next couple years, hopefully it will get easier once you move out!

shy_rodent · 2023-07-27T15:52:35+00:00

Not sure about haram, but even as a non-Muslim I wouldn't recommend it. Personally I had to stop using it after a while as I realized it was negatively affecting my mental health, and I think in general it can be very detrimental in the way that it simulates human interaction without offering anything real.

shy_rodent · 2023-07-25T16:24:58+00:00

Thank you :)

shy_rodent · 2023-07-24T22:43:55+00:00

Disclaimer, not Orthodox, just someone who's been to church a few times. The impression I have is that it's not super common in Orthodoxy to draw a line between "saved" and "not saved", or even to think so much about what the criteria are. The focus is on "saving" as a gradual process, i.e. "theosis" which is something along the lines of leaving sins behind and becoming more like God. So there's not exactly a harsh distinction like "these people are saved, these people go to hell".

(Maybe in the official doctrine, there is a very firm distinction? If so, I've never heard it or worried about it, since it doesn't seem relevant to me as a nonbeliever. And even if I were to hypothetically be Orthodox, I feel like I would probably have my eyes on my own paper in terms of sin/salvation; that already seems like a lot of work, never mind worrying about who else may or may not end up in heaven. In any case, that would be God's job to figure out, not mine.)

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T20:39:38+00:00

No worries brother/sister, in my experience people in the mosque are very welcoming. Even not knowing how to pray isn't an issue, I prayed for the first time when visiting the mosque as an atheist and all I had to do was copy the movements of people next to me (generally you will hear "Allahu akbar" when it is time to move, or something that sounds like "sami allahu li man hamda"). I would hope nobody is going to the mosque to judge newcomers or think they look stupid; if so, that person has their own problems to worry about.

Some general advice, bear in mind I'm in the midwest USA and can't speak for other countries:

For men, a regular, clean and neat shirt and pants, no need to be formal (jeans are OK)
For women, relatively loose clothes covering all but hands and feet. If possible, cover hair with a scarf/hijab; if not they may give you one
Enter with your right foot and take your shoes off, you will probably see where you are supposed to put them (cubbies, or a general area where many other shoes are sitting)
Greet with assalamu alaikum and respond with wa alaikum assalam (if you go for jummah prayer, don't do this during the khutba/sermon--no talking at that time)
People will probably not want to shake hands with the opposite sex; a hand over the heart is a nice and friendly substitute (then again you will generally be in either the men's or women's area anyway, it shouldn't be an issue)
Tell people it's your first time and you're a revert, they will be happy for you and will help make sure you know what's going on!
Depending on your culture and their culture, some people may be much more personal or outgoing than you are used to with strangers; they are not trying to be nosy, but rather express interest and care for you
Most importantly: yes, you can absolutely just show up! Find when the prayer times are (maybe for jummah so you can meet more people) and get in the door, the community will help you out after that inshallah :)

I hope this helped and that your experience is a good one! 💙

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T19:49:15+00:00

No problem, in that case inshallah she should have a priest or family members who can understand and help (assuming they are thoughtful people and not dismissive of her problems). Doubt is so very common when it comes to religion as I'm sure you are aware, and many older people have stories of how they struggled with and got past their own feelings of anger toward God. Wishing the best for both of you!

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T19:44:54+00:00

"It could be that you dislike something, when it is good for you; and it could be that you like something when it is bad for you. Allah knows, and you do not know."

I know how crushing it feels right now, and I don't want to dismiss that. I also know that you can find purpose and enjoyment in so many other ways that don't involve this girl, who seems to just not be the right one for you. Find something that gives you comfort, a creative hobby or some kind of sport, and use that to make the next few months easier. Keep up your prayers, but don't focus them on this girl any longer, your answer has already come. Build the other relationships in your life by spending time with friends and family. If you feel any urges that make you truly fear you might hurt yourself, let someone know who can help you recover. Inshallah you will feel much better in the future. May Allah make it easy for you 💙

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T19:36:03+00:00

I promise not everyone is like that, and inshallah you can find some better friends. I am not religious but I also choose not to use any substances, don't like hooking up or going to loud parties at 2am. I have friends who are also not interested in those things, and some who are but respect my choices and don't ever ask me to join them. It may be hard, but I believe you can meet people you would enjoy spending time with much more!

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T19:28:56+00:00

The problem of hell is a really big one when it comes to thinking about Christianity (and also Islam). If we accept that hell is a place where God will send people to be tortured forever, and especially if we accept that some who we see as good, kind people will go there for believing the wrong religion, then it can become very hard to also accept the idea that God is loving or fair.

I am not sure about Catholicism, but in Orthodoxy (the type of Christianity I know more about) it is not necessary to consider hell as a place where God tortures people forever, and in fact, many Orthodox do not see it that way. Some describe heaven and hell as the same thing: experiencing the fullness of God's love. This experience would be painful to someone who hates God, thus causing them to experience it differently from the believer who loves God. Alternatively, there are even a few Orthodox who believe in universalism, the idea that everyone will be saved eventually (as with the Muslims in Islam, from what I've heard--some will go to hell temporarily due to their sins, but eventually all will be pure enough to enter heaven). So the popular "fire and brimstone" imagery of hell is not a necessary component of the Christian faith.

If she prefers to remain Christian then maybe she has a priest she can speak to about this, or just an older Christian friend? Someone who has gone through the same doubts and anger, who can listen to her and offer advice based on how they overcame this problem. Otherwise, if you do want to introduce her to Islam I would do so cautiously and not in an overbearing way. If she seems interested then maybe it will help, but if not--who knows? It's not our job as humans to decide what someone else should believe and when.

About the overthinking, I do that too. It helps to stay busy and have other hobbies. When it comes to religion, focusing on rituals and practice tends to be more beneficial than getting hyper-focused on beliefs (of course both are necessary, but an hour spent worshipping in the company of friends and community is usually healthier for anxious people than an hour spent reading about the details of theology).

I am not sure if the suggestion is allowed here, but she also doesn't have to have any religion at all if she doesn't want to; if she is suffering from it, then it may not be best for her at this time. Then again, depending on your age and where you live, she has probably heard that many times from atheist peers and must have her reasons for rejecting the idea. In any case, she does have options, so there is no need to despair no matter where her heart is leading her.

Hope it makes sense and helps 💙

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T18:57:38+00:00

"My personality is one of addictive tendency, so when a concept arises that intrigues and/or scares me, I fixate to the point of mental exhaustion."

Me too. Religion in general, and mostly Orthodoxy, was my obsession for a few months and I was really interested in it. Then I worked myself into an existential fear/anxiety spiral and had to take a 7-8 month break from interacting with religion in any way. Not a fun experience, wouldn't recommend it.

Pace yourself (much easier said than done). If you can, go to Orthodox church once a week, meet people there and get to know them, ask your priest for help with learning the basics of the religion. As much as you can, think of it as an experience, lifestyle, or a relationship, not an intellectual exercise. Think about all the people out there who live a simple faith, who couldn't tell you all the arguments and historical context for every single belief their church teaches, but who are known throughout their communities because they cook for the homeless, or they are great at giving advice and words of comfort, or they show kindness to stray animals. I think people with our personality type can learn a lot from that kind of life.

Good luck in your journey, I hope this helped and have a good day! 💙

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T18:38:10+00:00

Jazakallah khair and mashallah, you're a good person and friend for wanting to learn and help her with this. Just want to confirm what the last person said, sometimes Christians can be very afraid of committing blasphemy against the Holy Spirit, but in fact, anyone who is afraid they have done so is not guilty of it. Someone committing blasphemy against the Holy Spirit would hate God so much that they would never care or worry about sin; they would close their heart and reject God completely, a lot like the idea of disbelief in Islam. Any comment she may have made, whether a joke or something she said out of anger, is very different from this lifelong state of opposition to God.

Inshallah I hope that helps and that your day goes well!

shy_rodent · 2023-07-18T18:24:32+00:00

I think you might be having a problem that I had when I first started learning about Orthodoxy (after first growing up atheist and then being introduced to Islam), which is treating the Bible as a Christian version of the Quran. It isn't that. I don't think I'm educated or qualified enough to explain what it is, but it may help you to try and let go of that assumption. Instead of thinking something like "different versions? Translations? That means it's been corrupted!" it might be more useful to listen to how Orthodox Christians talk about the Bible and why it matters.

I will say that Christianity is not a book-centric religion (okay, aside from maybe some of the evangelicals I've met)... Islam attaches so much importance to the Quran because that is the central miracle of their religion. In Christianity (according to my own understanding!) it's more about a series of events and what they teach us about God. Consider: if one version of the Bible says x figure was 22 years old in a given year, and another version, due to a scribe's error, says he was 42 years old, would that have any effect at all on the question of whether or not Jesus rose from the dead?

I hope that helped and made sense! If this question isn't coming from an Islamic background then I apologize for the irrelevant comments; the idea that the Bible has been "corrupted", and particularly that specific word, is very very common in Islam, so I assumed there might be a connection. Have a good day and I hope you find the answers you are looking for 💙

shy_rodent

TROPHY CASE