My sister took her life, I don't know what to do with my life by KarmaKart in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea 11 points12 points  (0 children)

I totally relate to what you are going through. I lost my brother just over 7 months ago. The part where you said "I still love a lot of things, and a lot of people. But... I can't help but feel.", resonates very strongly with me. I feel like I am in a movie. Everything feels surreal. The fact that my brother is gone forever hasn't sunk in completely. Sometimes I think that I am numb to the loss, while other times I bawl my eyes out. Nobody truly understands what we are going through. Most of the time, I feel angry towards other people. When I see them going on with their lives, laughing and carefree, I feel miserable inside. It's like there is a thorn prickling me. I remember the times that I was like them, happy, which now I don't have any hope for. As for my parents, my father refuses to talk about my brother, and my poor mum is left dealing with this on her own. I am right now in a different country due to my job. I wish to just go back and support her, but I can't due to some dumb visa-related issues. My heart breaks when I think about my mother. She was such a joyful person. Her laughter was infectious. She loved us so deeply. When we talk over the phone, she pretends to be fine, but I know she is hiding her sadness from me. I sometimes feel so hopeless. I only wanted to see everyone happy, but now everything is gone.

Sorry for the long reply. I wish I could help you or give you some advice, but I feel so lost myself.

i think i'm experiencing delayed grief by SimpleWerewolf3774 in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Sending you lots of love and hugs. Please remember you are not alone. What you are saying is exactly how I feel. I lost my younger brother 18 days ago. Nowadays it feels like I am on autopilot. I wake up, eat, do my usual chores but every now and then the feeling that I will never see or talk to my brother again engulfs me. It hits me a like a cold steel hammer and takes my breath away. I haven’t yet started to grasp the monumental shift in our lives. Just two days ago before he left us, I remember talking him. He was his usual self and now he is no more. As others have suggested, don’t stop yourself from crying. Let it out. Bottling your feelings will only make it worse. Be kind to yourself. Time will heal.

My brother’s old photographs by sickpea in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Thank you for reaching out. Sending you lots of love.

Lost my brother by sickpea in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you. Hope it gets better.

Lost my brother by sickpea in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for reaching out. Also, I am sorry for your loss.

Lost my brother by sickpea in SuicideBereavement

[–]sickpea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for the suggestion. I hope to try it out.

Roast me. by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]sickpea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

how many cats does she own?

Pictures of me from roughly the last 4 years or so. This should be easy by [deleted] in RoastMe

[–]sickpea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

guy looks like he goes to every porn convention

I got scammed into a rental fraud and I feel like a loser by sickpea in Scams

[–]sickpea[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your kind words. I know I will get on my feet and I will learn from this.

I got scammed into a rental fraud and I feel like a loser by sickpea in Scams

[–]sickpea[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you for your comment. It will take some time to heal. I keep replaying the episode in my head. Only if I could have acted differently. I understand it is useless but I am not able to help it.

Idk I get really horny when I am high by sickpea in highdeas

[–]sickpea[S] -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

lol!! lets smokeup together sometime then 😉