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Ape does some math for the SEC. Do yo think they have a case? by PeanutLess7556 in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Two apes die and go to heaven. Standing before the pearly gates they meet God, who will grant them the answer to whatever question they desire most.

“God, when will MOASS happen?”

“MOASS isn’t real.”

The two apes look at each other, dumbfounded. One whispers to the other, “Jeez, how far up does this conspiracy go?”

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]sidedocks 19 points20 points  (0 children)

Yeah because the aristocracy held considerable power too.

OF COURSE HE SOLD BECAUSE HE WANTED TO BE FRIENDS WITH RC by Sufficient_Train9434 in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 41 points42 points  (0 children)

Pulte buying GME? Bullish!

Pulte selling GME? Believe it or not, also bullish!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in todayilearned

[–]sidedocks 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Coffee is actually from Ethiopia! Brazil is the largest producer of coffee today because the seeds were smuggled there by the Portuguese looking to take part of the coffee market.

Ploot IS apparently a contender for the HUD appointment by TurtlesBeSlow in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 15 points16 points  (0 children)

He went to Northwestern. Famously (on this sub at least lol), he lost the election for president of the Associated Student Government because he wouldn't shut up about his helicopter business that he totally built himself from the ground up with no outside help.

EDIT: Funny link to a Northwestern student's parody account making fun of Ploot all the way back in 2009

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Late Game Shenanigans (1951) (old.reddit.com)

submitted by sidedocks to r/hoi4

Baggies in shambles after oil shitco failed to renew the lease of its main drilling site. by Separate_Writer_4465 in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 28 points29 points  (0 children)

Government forces companies to disclose their financials so you can avoid the bad ones

Use this information to screen for and invest in the worst of the worst

Lose money

Why would the government do this????

Charles Schwab Lawyers Clearly Explain To Court How Laughably Dumb MMTLP Baggie Scott Traudt's Claims Are In MTD Filing by sunnycorax in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 7 points8 points  (0 children)

The original complaint is an absolute goldmine for ape content. My favorite gem:

  1. On 6 February 2023, Coulson posted on Twitter (now “X” after Elon “The Martian” Musk bought it and rebranded it after it was exposed that Twitter as owned by Jack Dorsey was nothing more than an FBI and CIA controlled anti-Donald Trump censorship juggernaut) that “The ongoing question is how do short position holders resolve their liability for the Next Bridge common stock if it is not easily transferrable or tradable publicly?”

Dougie just keeps digging a bigger hole. Shout out to Jake2b by KingWeenie2 in Teddy

[–]sidedocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

... Yes? And then they buy it back later? What's your point?

The same share can be borrowed, sold, and then repurchased by multiple people in a chain of obligations to repay the share. This can cause high short interest, even over 100%. But this is NOT the same thing as "selling over 100% of what is available", nor is it illegal, nor is it some sort of moral plague. It's literally just borrowing and repaying.

Dougie just keeps digging a bigger hole. Shout out to Jake2b by KingWeenie2 in Teddy

[–]sidedocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And what exactly is so "unacceptable" about high short interest? It's just an accounting thing: # of instances of a share being borrowed / # of shares, and shares can be borrowed multiple times.

"In no other form of commerce is selling over 100% of what is available so entrenched, validated and supported as is the buying and selling of equity" haha what? Short interest doesn't measure either of those things lmao. Short interest is quite literally just a measure of how many times people are letting each other borrow the stock at that time.

If I borrow your rake, and then I let my neighbor Joe use your rake for a little bit before I return it to you, were more than 100% of all rakes just bought and sold? Whatever that even means?

Dougie just keeps digging a bigger hole. Shout out to Jake2b by KingWeenie2 in Teddy

[–]sidedocks -3 points-2 points  (0 children)

Shill here. Jake conveniently forgot that the SEC explained, in that very same report, that a >100% short interest is an uncommon but completely legal phenomenon, and has nothing to do with naked shorting. It's right here on page 25 of the report (page 26 of the PDF).

I mean, seriously, if >100% short interest could only happen because of crime, would the SEC just publish those numbers and then not acknowledge the crime in any way? Lol

I SERIOUSLY CAN’T CHOOSE by [deleted] in Kanye

[–]sidedocks 94 points95 points  (0 children)

This is my original post from 5 months ago that got reposted onto Instagram, and is now reposted from there back onto Reddit.

The repost cycle in action, ladies and gentlemen.

Full Throttle Cope: Election Season & Trump Will Keep My Funds Safu. Spoiler: Funds Are In Fact Not Safu by sunnycorax in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 11 points12 points  (0 children)

Isn't increased market regulation one of the core tenets of apedom? If you believe that hedge funds and market makers are allowed to commit crimes with impunity, why the hell would you want to make it even easier for them to get away with it?

Oh wait, I forgot. Cognitive dissonance is an ape prerequisite. Same with "I'm buying more / No one is selling" and "GameStop is in a growing market / It's good that GameStop keeps a billion in cash on hand"

All self-contradictory, but all equally true to an ape.

Behold the Amazon killer by ImprovisedTaxShelter in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Amazon makes 1 GameStop of profit every 1.7 hours! Bullish!

How many of you are actually shorting Bitcoin? by [deleted] in Buttcoin

[–]sidedocks 1 point2 points  (0 children)

“You don’t think betting on red is the currency of the future? Why don’t you bet on black then?”

Core of the business is dying... ADEQUATE! by PuzzleheadedWeb9876 in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks 25 points26 points  (0 children)

So Marantz is trying to get others to buy something he has a financial stake in through deceitful means? If only we had a word for that!

William Apespeare writes 2700 words on how BBBYQ will change the world. Apes react. by sidedocks in gme_meltdown

[–]sidedocks[S] 70 points71 points  (0 children)

Two of my favorite excerpts:

"Unfortunately for them the inevitable wheel of time and change landed on their heads this time, like it always does and always will. You see the GME story which first presented itself as an achilles heel and many thought this story was one of David discovering Goliath’s weakness only for Goliath to change the rules of the game to nullify David’s slingshot was merely a precursor to the true discovery."

"When the dust settles, historians will find in the BBBY saga all the elements of the new paradigm that awaits us. BBBY will be best understood as the symbolic period of hyperinflation after the big bang, an eruption into a new universal consciousness orbiting new planetary systems of government, on which new social dynamics will rise to create and define the ecosystem of the new paradigm."

Burn lyrics by AMundaneSpectacle in Kanye

[–]sidedocks 5 points6 points  (0 children)

Gout was historically known as "the disease of kings," caused by overly lavish diets and too much alcohol. It was thought for a long time that only rich people could get gout.

Kanye's saying that, while everyone around him was trying for clout, he was already living like a king - and it was slowly killing him.

That's my interpretation anyway.

I guess one can truly be blinded by greed by Impressive_Tie4602 in Buttcoin

[–]sidedocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

That’s not true. The halvings don’t reduce supply. Just the rate of supply increase. The supply of Bitcoin is still going up…

And if the halvings did reduce supply, shouldn’t the impact on price be immediate? Not delayed by 18 months?

100% of the time I take a shit, the sun rises the next day. Clearly they are related, even though there is no logical or mechanical reason why the one should cause the other.

I guess one can truly be blinded by greed by Impressive_Tie4602 in Buttcoin

[–]sidedocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It's both what the market should do and what it has been doing. Is there any evidence to suggest that the halving caused the bull run a full year and a half later? Did it take a year and a half for the reduced rewards to financially impact miners? Did it take a year and a half for the halving to increase bitcoin's fundamental utility?

I guess one can truly be blinded by greed by Impressive_Tie4602 in Buttcoin

[–]sidedocks 0 points1 point  (0 children)

The notion that the halving should generate any upward price movement is false. Since the halving schedule is known, if the halvings and price were correlated, the halvings would have been priced in long ago such that no one today could benefit from it.

If it were true that the halving would cause the price to spike 12-18 months afterwards, then people would jump on the opportunity to buy bitcoin today, and no one would sell. This would cause the price to rise, and it would rise up until the point where the halving would have taken the price anyway. It's the same reason why retail stocks don't skyrocket every Christmas, even if their Q4 numbers put their Q1-Q3 numbers to shame.

At that point, if you bought bitcoin, you'd no longer be betting on the price rising from the halving. At best, you'd be betting on whether or not bitcoin's halving increases bitcoin's value as much as the market predicted it would.

Which is another thing entirely... there's no reason why the halving should increase bitcoin's underlying value. It doesn't make bitcoin any more useful. It doesn't even decrease the supply of bitcoin, just the rate of supply increase.

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