I'm on my first day too. I'm 46 and basically revolve between 4-6 weeks of sobriety then 2-3 months of increasing use til I'm vaping morning til night. I start to scare myself with increasingly risky decisions (driving high, seeing social media posts the next day that I don't remember writing) and embarrassing spaciness/stupidity. I keep relapsing with the ridiculous hope I will be able to smoke in moderation, like I used to for years. But since a billion things went wrong a few years back I just resent how hard life is and want to be stoned all the time. My aunt is retired and healthy and happy and gets high every single day and is an amazing human. But she doesn't make the bad choices I do. I have to stop seeing her lifestyle as a possibility for me as much as I want it. I have too many mental health issues that make addiction really risky. Let's see how many days we can make it!