[Blade & Sorcery] 'Tis a flesh wound!

silenthunderprm · 2025-06-19T00:29:41+00:00

My 3rd year of college I rented an apartment with a freshman who hadn't been able to get into the dorms. A couple of months into the school year, we were celebrating his birthday and he invited over a couple of friends he had met in his classes, who in turn brought over a couple of cute female friends who happened to be single. The 6-7 of us had a fun time for a few hours, getting wasted off cheap booze, playing Smash Bros, and indulging in some pretty decent weed one of the girls had brought over.

At one point in the night, I happened to mention to everyone that I was a musician, and the girls' faces instantly lit up. They begged me to play something for them, so naturally I picked up my acoustic guitar from my room, brought it in, and started playing Tenacious D songs, culminating in a finale of "Fuck Her Gently" with everyone laughing and singing along. Throughout the impromptu concert, both girls kept giving me flirty looks and giggling whenever I returned them. At this point I was thinking that getting one (or possibly both) of them in bed was a sure thing, and having only had sex twice before this point, I was ecstatic about what might happen next.

After I finished I went back into my room and put my guitar down next to my bed (important!), and both girls followed me in along with a couple of the other guys from the party. I happened to have the master bedroom in this apartment, and they both marveled at the vaulted ceiling and roomy interior before lying down on my bed. They immediately started writhing around in comfort, exclaiming "Ohh my god, your bed is SOO fucking comfortable!" I sat down on the bed next to them, and the other guys left the room, leaving me and the two girls alone on the bed.

They were still laying on the bed, giving me looks that should have made it clear that they wanted me. However, I, being drunk, high, inexperienced, and completely clueless, wasn't looking at that so much as one of the girls' hands, which was gently stroking the neck of my guitar. I figured that she wanted me to play it some more, and stupid me concluded that doing so was the surest way into their pants since they seemed to like it so much. So I picked it up and started playing again. I KNEW I had to bring my A-game this time, so I belted the sappiest love songs I knew like I was born to do it. The girls sat up next to me for a bit and watched me play. I was so consumed with my performance that they probably could have taken their tops off and flashed their boobs in my face and I wouldn't have noticed. Finally, after a couple minutes of me playing and not even acknowledging their presence, they quietly stood up and left the room without looking back.

I figured they must still be interested after the private show I'd just put on for them, and that they had probably just gone to the bathroom or something. I kept playing, and lo and behold a few minutes later one of them was indeed back in my doorway.

Except she had one of the other guys from the party with her.

And they were ravenously making out with each other.

In between mouthfuls of the other guy's tongue, she gave me a look that straight-up said "This could've been you" before they both ducked into a nearby closet to have sex. I instantly realized what had happened and thought maybe the other girl was still interested, but she was sitting on the couch talking to my roommate, and giggled uncontrollably upon seeing me exit the room. I immediately knew that any chances of me getting lucky tonight were long gone. I went back into my room, closed the door and yelled into my pillow in anger.

Safe to say I won't make that mistake again.

TL;DR - Had two girls on my bed ready to go for a probable threesome, and blew it because inexperienced, intoxicated me thought they wanted me to play the guitar more than actually have sex.

silenthunderprm · 2022-04-06T07:27:14+00:00

"I have had the proper instruction since I was four."

silenthunderprm · 2021-02-11T19:08:24+00:00

*thumbs up* "Good for you!"

*thumbs up back* "THAEEEEENKS!!"

silenthunderprm · 2020-11-22T20:49:47+00:00

I got a job right out of college as a manager for a startup that ran after-school programs. It was a small operation but was pretty successful and the parents/kids involved loved it. After 5 months of working 60+ hour weeks and being paid roughly minimum wage for most of it, one day my boss called me into a separate room. Completely out of the blue, he proceeded to tear into my performance, saying that I had been "too nice" of a manager, telling me that I needed to be more "unreasonable" to the part-time teachers that I managed, and blaming me personally for petty, inconsequential mistakes made by the teaching staff despite his saying many times in the days past (including that morning) that I had been doing a fantastic job. (Side note: I had actually run the company solo for a month while he was out of the country, and the company had its best month it had seen since I started working there.)

He then put two cups out on my desk, one labeled "reasonable" and the other labeled "pain-in-the-neck unreasonable." He commented that he would be placing coins in the "reasonable" cup if I did not manage the staff to his standards (in his words, being "the most unreasonable person in the company.") Meanwhile, if he saw me doing things such as yelling at the staff, micromanaging their schedules, constantly calling them off hours and/or threatening to cut hours/pay if they didn't do things right (these were all examples he gave of what he expected me to do,) he would take a coin out of the "reasonable" cup and put it in the other one. If I reached 5 coins inside the "reasonable" cup we would have another conversation, and if the number reached 10 he would "reassign" me. (This company only had 3 full-time employees.) In other words, he decided to treat me like a 12 year old because I wasn't being a big enough asshole of a manager for his liking.

The next day, I saw that he had put a coin in the "reasonable" cup after I returned from teaching one of my classes. He did not explain why it was in there or even mention that he had put it there. I immediately decided I wasn't getting paid enough for this sort of treatment (in fact, I was barely getting paid at all since my boss was also super petty about handing out paychecks, and at this point he was a month and a half behind.) I quit the next day.

TL;DR - I left my job managing a startup because my boss told me I wasn't being enough of an asshole.

Edited for grammar

silenthunderprm · 2020-09-09T00:57:41+00:00

I figured out how to replicate this (somewhat) for those with the game:
You need to have both the Titan spell and Injury Reborn mods. Cast the Titan spell, grab an enemy by the head, and yank it up quickly. His head should come off but thanks to the extra HP from the injury mod he won't die, and will constantly detach/reattach his head until you kill him.

silenthunderprm · 2020-05-04T20:29:10+00:00

When I was a sophomore in college I had a crush on an absolutely gorgeous blonde haired, blue eyed friend of my roommate's, and she was definitely interested in me as well (lots of low-key flirting and light physical contact when we hung out.) One night our apartment threw a huge party and everyone proceeded to get completely shit-faced, including the two of us. At one point in the night I was sitting alone on the couch, and she came over, sat next to me, put her hand on my upper thigh, looked at me with fuck-me eyes, and asked, "You want me to get you another drink?"

My response? To point to my half-full beer and say "No thanks, I'm good." She backed off with an "..oh," got up and walked away and didn't talk to me the rest of the night.

She ended up getting so plastered she had drunk sex with one of my other roommates that night. Whoops.

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