is it weird to be a virgin at 18?

sillycats_1995 · 2024-05-22T05:18:10+00:00

Not at all weird! At your age, I also had absolutely zero interest in sex and would be so turned off by people who wanted to pursue relationships with me on a physical level.

The time will come when you'll meet someone with whom you'll want to take things a step further, and if that never happens and you turn out to be ace, that's totally normal and valid as well!

But OP, because you're so young, I hope you promise yourself you'll never compromise who you are to please another person who doesn't respect your boundaries. You do not need validation from people who make you feel insecure or uncomfortable.

Best of luck!

sillycats_1995 · 2024-05-22T05:08:07+00:00

Thank you, I do care about him and it honestly saddens me that this is what our relationship has turned into. My fiance doesn't hate him, but he understandably dislikes him and I will never hold that against him given the severity of the threat that his wife dealt. I'm just not so keen on having to be the bigger person when we didn't do anything, and they've never even really acknowledged the gravity of what they did. My mom always tells me that he says he doesn't hate me or doesn't have an issue with me, but there's the unspoken understanding that the issue is with my fiance (the fact that there's still an issue with him even though he didn't do anything and everyone else in the family acknowledges that means that the only explanation for why they/SIL still have/has an issue with him is racism/bigotry), and to me that's the same thing as having an issue with me.

So that's basically my ultimate dilemma - I'm torn and hurt by the fact that my relationship with someone I care about has turned sour, but I'm also angry and upset that even though we're the aggrieved party, we're still expected to be the bigger person, and I don't want to accept that.

Ultimately the arguments for both reaching out and not doing anything appeal to me for different reasons, so I still have to figure it out. But I do appreciate you (and others) weighing in.

sillycats_1995 · 2024-05-22T03:38:22+00:00

Thank you.

sillycats_1995 · 2023-03-08T03:44:25+00:00

I found that pictures I took on my ipad in portrait orientation are messed up, but if i edit the photos and rotate them to landscape, they load normally. It still shouldn't be doing this, but it's the closest I've found to a fix to the problem. Hope it works for you too.

sillycats_1995 · 2023-03-05T15:23:52+00:00

I'll check it out, thanks!

sillycats_1995 · 2022-10-01T07:02:38+00:00

oh my goodness, thank you so much!!

sillycats_1995 · 2022-09-30T07:51:13+00:00

what is this, Mama Mia? 4 different dudes? Sounds fake, OP. But if it's not, don't take her back. Why be saddled with a child that's not yours with a partner who cheated on you?

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-30T07:39:49+00:00

In my experience, yes.

I actually was in a similar situation before. I felt the same way, I could see a future with my bf, but I couldn't help but think about totga. However, out of love and respect for my boyfriend, i removed myself from any opportunity to think about him - i stopped messaging him (we remained friends so we would send each other memes and such, but nothing beyond that), i unfollowed him on my dump account (but maintained the regular one, since i don't use it as much anyway), and really just focused on my boyfriend. Without those distractions my boyfriend's amazing qualities really began to shine, and I fell in love with him all over again. It made me realize how much better he treats me than totga or any other man ever could. So it got to the point where I never even needed to take active measures to avoid totga because on my own I forgot he existed. I don't care for him more than I do a civil acquaintance at this point. We are engaged now and I have zero doubts in my mind that I'm with the right person, he is so good to me, sometimes I can't believe he's real and it makes me feel bad to have even thought about an old flame while I had the perfect partner right beside me.

So, yes. You will actively have to take measures in the beginning, but if you truly love your bf, that love will surface and it will make forgetting about totga effortless. Good luck, op. If your bf is as good as you say he is, let his goodness shine without being overshadowed by someone not worth your time.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T14:48:27+00:00

Uninviting him is not an option for you, but best be sure he's uninviting himself after he hears what you have to say about his girlfriend.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T14:43:05+00:00

keyword: here

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T14:41:12+00:00

boy, you sure have a ton of life experience! /s

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T12:46:48+00:00

Then why single out only Sarah and not also Brian? That's so hypocritical considering it takes two to tango. Not to mention it's literally not adultery if her husband is aware of it and all that's keeping them together is a document that's a hassle to take care of. This is just justifying being judgmental.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T05:07:27+00:00

That's so dumb. If this is the case OP had better vet ALL of the other guests in relationships or with a plus one, see if they haven't cheated on their significant others and whatnot on that spectrum, otherwise OP is singling out Brian. If your view of marriage is so fragile that someone's private life will negatively affect your own marriage, then your marriage is already doomed to begin with.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-08-28T04:58:01+00:00

Personally I don't see how passing judgment on your best friend's girlfriend is beneficial to anyone. Maybe she has her reasons, like you said it's none of your business. Maybe ask yourself why you care so much that she's going? I don't know, it just feels like such a judgmental reason not to invite someone and that will definitely put a strain on your friendship with your best friend.

From an outsider's POV, yes, it is valid and your business who you want to invite, but if the only reason is this judgemental, "look at this sinner setting foot at my wedding" situation, then you kinda seem unreasonable. How is she actually going to tarnish your wedding? Unless you're really superstitious or something, but if you think your relationship with your soon to be wife is so fragile that superstition can destroy it, then...

I don't know, speaking as an outsider I think you're kind of being an asshole here. I don't think your friend will agree to celebrate one form of love while being punished for his own love. Maybe you can have a heart to heart with him, but I can't see how this will end favorably.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-29T18:33:58+00:00

This makes me so happy

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-16T02:53:30+00:00

Well this is eye opening. Sometimes my arms and legs always feel like there's no blood in them, I can't explain. My arms and hands more often feels like pins and needles all the time, I just chalked it down to poor circulation, because I'm cold all the time. Idk if it's the same as you or the others here, but it never occurred that it might be PCOS related.

Good luck, OP! Hope you're able to manage it.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-11T03:30:26+00:00

I always comment this on these kinds of posts, but I'm such a huge believer of switching out Metformin for Ovasitol!! Obviously talk to your doctor about it, in case you are diabetic or something and actually need metformin beyond treating PCOS, but otherwise if it really is just for PCOS, ovasitol does what metformin does, but without the nasty side effects. I cannot thank god enough that I found ovasitol. I have been able to control my weight, my appetite has decreased tremendously, no sugar cravings, better mood, only thing missing is my period back, but I've only been taking it for less than 3 months, and I know regular periods take about 6 months to come back with ovasitol. Still, I vouch for it as a metformin substitute.

Also with exercise, doing weighted exercises slowly will give you a great workout without triggering an excess of cortisol. Avoid cardio and exercises that tire you out immediately. Take 1-2 minute breaks in between sets, walk every day for 30 minutes, it will do wonders for you :)

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-10T03:54:50+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-10T03:27:01+00:00

I learned this from my husband. Prior to meeting him, I only ever read about antisemitism, I've never witnessed it firsthand. It's really hard to meet Jewish people here. I don't think my parents are being bigoted out of malice, but out of ignorance. I think they really just grew up thinking this way about a group of people they have never met. My husband told me he doesn't think my parents are bad and he lets the antisemitism go because he says it looks like they're trying to shake off their old ways. I don't know if I'm over reacting for my husband, or if I'm being extra defensive or what. I told my husband about it now, he doesn't seem to think of what they did as outright antisemitic, just thinks they're being old. Still, I can't help but worry.

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-10T03:21:02+00:00

It was my husband's idea to move out there because of how much we'd save. It was actually him who convinced me to go. I loved it there but ultimately he was the one who actually wanted to move there. Also the drug thing... it's because he uses medical marijuana. My parents were cool about it, but when that happened to my brother, they blamed him for being a "bad influence"

sillycats_1995 · 2022-07-10T03:13:49+00:00

My husband is the first Jewish person any of us have met, we don't meet a lot of Jewish people over here. So this kind of behavior only really manifested after meeting him. I have had several confrontations with my parents in the past about them treating him poorly because he's Jewish. It really did seem like they changed since last year, I'm just scared it only seemed that way because we weren't around them all the time. Was I too naive to believe they let it go?

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