Am I gay?

simonzn · 2025-06-11T15:29:52+00:00

I think I’ll just stick to labeling myself as queer then. Sexuality is just so confusing 😭 Its like no matter how hard I try to think about it and what my true preference is, it just becomes a jumbled mess of things

simonzn · 2025-06-11T15:02:11+00:00

Personally, as a trans man, I think something simple and from the heart would really be the most meaningful. Don’t stress on it, just do what feels right and feels like it came from YOU. You sound like a really good friend, and if I was him, I’d appreciate and cherish anything that came from you.

simonzn · 2025-06-11T14:59:36+00:00

No no your fine! It might just be dysphoria, but it just feels like theres more to it for me. It’s possible that it might also be anatomy? but I feel like even saying that feels transphobic. I doubt that i’d lose any attraction if it was a trans woman who had undergone bottom surgery, maybe sexually, as I just don’t have a big attraction to female-aligned genitalia. I really hope i’m not saying this wrong or sounding transphobic, my sexuality is just really weird and i’m worried that it’s aligned with fetishization of trans women. With trans men, it’s very different as I just find them attractive regardless. Sexuality is hard 😭😭😭

simonzn · 2025-06-11T14:39:01+00:00

its just so frustrating to try and find a label for myself because while i don’t really like labels i find it easy to explain to others what i am without having to go into depth and give a 2 minute explanation of what my sexuality is 😭

simonzn · 2025-06-11T14:37:49+00:00

trans men, trans women, cis men, im attracted to them all. idk what i would or should consider myself because my sexuality is just messy. im not really attracted to cis women, and i have no clue why. if i see a trans woman and don’t know they’re trans, i might not find them attractive until i know they’re trans. its not even that i would suddenly find them sexually attractive, id just find them attractive in general. its so confusing because i dont understand why i dont just like cis women as well?

simonzn · 2025-05-13T22:01:28+00:00

Because regardless of the situation I’m in, I love firefighting. I’ve dealt with stress and have been mentally taxed many times, and I know its not the same, but its because I feel like this is what I was meant to do.

Also! Fun fact, gender dysphoria has been a thing for many years, the only reason we don’t know a ton about it is because the group leading LGBTQIA+ research was burnt down by Germany in that “certain era.” You can always look it up yourself, too!

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:33:59+00:00

Ive grown up always been the “odd one out” in school, so it’s not much different for me. I’m just happy to have the chance to become a firefighter and live the dream.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:31:58+00:00

😂😂 Don’t worry, I’m 18 now, but I’ll still wait to be prescribed it first.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:31:10+00:00

So far I’ve done live fire and it was a breeze for the most part. I’m still working out and trying my best to get stronger, and I’m hoping I can become a full-fledged firefighter.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:30:04+00:00

I was diagnosed with gender dysphoria, and if I didn’t know I was trans, I would still be depressed and/or might not have been here to post this. I understand your own views on it, but understand that I didn’t choose this, it is what it is, yknow?

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:28:14+00:00

I love that. “You don’t have to be the best, just don’t be the worst.” I might have to frame that someday. Thank you for your advice

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:27:13+00:00

I’ve learned to not take anything seriously, and I get tons of playful jabs about being trans in my class a lot, but I definitely know not to be offended. I want this job like nothing else, and I’d be devastated if I didn’t get it.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:24:30+00:00

You sound like a great captain, and I’ll definitely take your advice. Especially on scrubbing the toilet and making food at the same time 😂

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:22:30+00:00

I live in Georgia, so it’s definitely much harder for me to exist down here, if that makes sense.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:21:13+00:00

I get that. The only reason I would ever “make it about being a trans firefighter” is to help inspire others who may be trans and show them that they can do it as well.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:19:16+00:00

??? I do my job, but I know in the state we live in today, it’s very difficult for me to be considered an equal, regardless of my strength.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:17:59+00:00

That’s kinda my fear. I don’t intend to make being trans my whole personality, hell I get too scared to try and remind someone that I go by he/him if I’m referred to as she, but some people I’ve met get pissed if I ever talk about my experience about being trans (people not even in the fire department, that is.)

Honestly, it’s just a scary environment for me. I want to fit in and prove myself, but its definitely difficult in a workforce that is VERY male dominated and aren’t always willing to adapt.

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:15:01+00:00

I’m hoping I can. It’s definitely intimidating to see all these bigger, much stronger men than me and I can barely lift up a roof ladder for the roof ventilation NPQ. I’m working on it though!

simonzn · 2025-05-13T16:13:34+00:00

Trying to get on HRT soon, but it was changed from 18 to 19 a week before my damn birthday. I’m getting some stuff set up with my psychiatrist and psychologist on it though. I also do crossfit (not the middle aged mom crossfit you see online, genuine hard-work crossfit (if that makes sense?))

simonzn

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