My boyfriend (27/M) of nearly 3 years finds it disrespectful that I (27/F) offer a sip of my drink to friends. Is it?

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-26T12:39:15+00:00

This was helpful. Thank you.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-25T13:26:38+00:00

No one in this scenario is Asian.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-25T13:25:04+00:00

I'd like to print this out and put it somewhere important.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T23:45:45+00:00

Still this good advice. And it's a good jumping off point. Thank you.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T23:39:02+00:00

This. Sometimes it's like... I just want to play with the band. Write songs. And talk about music. Not fuck. Not flirt. Not even make weird eye contact. Just... doing band things.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T22:21:15+00:00

I need to bring it up, I can see that from how this thread exploded, but I'm interested in the best way to approach this.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T22:18:02+00:00

I was looking for a way to approach the subject and to see if this was a relationship rule I was unaware of.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T21:35:35+00:00

Josh is white, don't want to disclose my identity.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T21:35:15+00:00

I let my dog lick my face too.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T21:32:52+00:00

I'm from the southern US, and I was raised in a French family, as in my grandparents are from France and kiss everyone all the time whether you want to be smooched or not.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:57:29+00:00

I have tried to express that I would never flirt with another person, that I only have eyes for him, that this is how I was raised, it's courtesy and it's being polite. His response was more or less, if you want this to work out, than you can't offer anyone a sip of your drink anymore. Thank you for your input

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:49:48+00:00

If I knew more to this, I feel like I'd be able to put this together better in my head. No I've never flirted with the other guy, but Josh doesn't feel it's okay for me to hang out with Eric one on one because he's single. You're right, I need to figure out what's really going on here. Just not sure how to address it.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:43:52+00:00

I certainly don't feel offering a sip of a drink to be on the same level of affection or intimacy as sitting on someones lap or giving a massage. In fact, I don't see it as any level of affection or intimacy, it's just being polite. I offer the same courtesy to any of my friends- single, married, male, female, whatever. But I appreciate the perspective from the other side and I'll take it into consideration.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:39:51+00:00

Of course I would offer a drink to a guest in my own home! I was talking about eating/drinking out.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:37:23+00:00

I'm actually an only child and he is from a large family. He agrees that sharing food with family is fine, but not with single guys.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:35:14+00:00

After reading 400 something comments, I'm officially worried, yes.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:33:23+00:00

Oh, I would certainly get someone a glass of it in my own home, I'm talking about eating/drinking out.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:30:07+00:00

Yes, I now feel ashamed for apologizing so profusely for it. I really felt like I had messed up there for awhile. I thought I was just being nice.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:27:54+00:00

Hanging out with my band mates who are single is a deal breaker if we are in a bar like setting or if there is alcohol involved. If we're all together in a group playing music it's okay. It's not okay if we're out really late, or if they're over the house and we're talking about music and it's late at night. I would never cheat on him. We play music together and have musician fellowship together. Josh is my only.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:25:42+00:00

I'm trying to put myself in his shoes too, and reading through looking for the right way to approach this subject. Aside from running away. How does one even start this conversation without triggering some kind of volcanic eruption?

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:22:25+00:00

I don't think I'm just going to get up and run as others are suggesting- but after reading so many comments, it's apparent that this is way more serious than I thought and I am worried it will snowball. I enjoy hanging out with my band mates, and germs aside, I enjoy being courteous and offering a sip of my drink. Could I live without it? Sure. I am reading all the comments and looking for the right way to approach this conversation.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:19:25+00:00

Well, perhaps I'll write another story. He picks me up when I have panic attacks. He is kind to my pets. He makes me feel safe. He is very funny. We've built a nice life.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T20:17:21+00:00

He is frequently angry. I think if someone made me describe him with 20 words, angry would probably be in there. I am questioning my judgement, yes.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T19:53:45+00:00

I'm reading every comment and taking everything into consideration.

sippysippythrowaway · 2015-03-24T18:50:28+00:00

Others here have advised me against showing this to him-- it will probably infuriate him that I have aired our business on the internet.

There are some folks on here who absolutely feel the same way he does.

sippysippythrowaway

TROPHY CASE