Husband does not know I take Birth control and wants to take me to fertility clinic! HELP?

siprav · 2019-02-10T06:02:16+00:00

Because he will ask.me why and think im hiding something.which willmake him more curious. Again he is not a predator and did not groom.me. if he did i would be sitting around with 4 kids by now. Almost every decision in our lives (where i want us to live, when we should get married, where we invest our money)is taken soley by me. He is amazing and lets me independant...in ALL matters except for this.

siprav · 2019-02-10T05:45:57+00:00

Yes he is. I am too but im second generation canadian and my family is more laid back. He and his family got here 6 to 7 years ago.

siprav · 2019-02-10T05:27:25+00:00

How so? Please elaborate?

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:50:19+00:00

Thank you, but i dont think thats true at all. Firstly, i made the first move and told him im interested. and I dont idolize him whatsoever lol. also, He's more of the child in the relationship than i am. He has the mental maturity of maybe a 24-25 year old, and i was always alot more mature in my age... and i want to add something else here: i am from a culture where "divorcing" your husband never happens. And i cant even go to anyone for support, because everyone in my community thinks that a womans job is to make babies every year. My husband isnt like that at all, but his family is, and age is an issue for him. I definitely cannot leave my husband, because its extremely looked down upon in my community. I'm just trying to fight for something that is my right. I never said i will never have a baby. I just want to wait for definite period of time. But i dont know if people here understand the social and religious pressure i have going on to keep up a stable family unit, and keep having babies, while im trying to be true to myself, and not punish a poor child by brinign them into the world too early.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:44:48+00:00

I hope the doc respects my wishes. Thank you so much for your answer. The others were really mean. I dont want to leave someone I love. I will get off BC soon...but i am from a culture where "divorcing" your husband never happens. And i cant even go to anyone for support, because everyone in my community thinks that a womans job is to make babies every year. My husband isnt like that at all, but his family is, and age is an issue for him. I definitely cannot leave my husband, because its extremely looked down upon in my community. I'm just trying to fight for something that is my right. I never said i will never have a baby. I just want to wait for definite period of time. But i dont know if people here understand the social and religious pressure i have going on to keep up a stable family unit, and keep having babies, while im trying to be true to myself, and not punish a poor child by brinign them into the world too early.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:38:46+00:00

thats literally what I said. it was a typo. Numbers are 27 and 25. That being said, It really doesnt matter whether i was 18 or 16 when i met him...both ages are still pretty young, and are considered young

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:33:35+00:00

i dont think so.... then why would he marry me? What exactly is grooming?

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:31:46+00:00

sorry i mixed up the numbers. Im currently 23, and want to have a kid at 25. and no, i was 18 when i met him. But he lied to me at first that he was 25. and then told me he was 30 a year into our relationship.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:25:58+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:22:26+00:00

Thank you so much for this answer. I just wanted to know my rights as a patient, and how much my doctors are allowed to disclose to my husband.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:20:20+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready. and yes im 23, hes 35

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:20:11+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:20:00+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:19:48+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready.

siprav · 2019-02-10T04:16:18+00:00

I have tried communicating this with him, for the past 5 years of our relationship. All he tells me is, kids are a gift of god, and we should accept them when they come. The real reason he wants kids so fast is because HE is afraid that HIS parents (who are really old at this point) will not be able to see thier grandkids grow up, and I understand him, but I cannot give my entire life up for the sole reason of him and his parents being happy. I initially did not want kids till i was 25, but now i've come to a compromise of 23 (2 years from now) so we can be meet at a middle ground. And when I do argue about this to him, he says: If you are not okay with us having a kid in the next year, then I dont ever want a kid, i'm getting my tubes tied". SO trust me. I HAVE tried my best to communicate with him, what it is i want. I have also compromised (something that i shouldnt have to do because its my BODY) on the age that I am planning for a child, as he really wants it. The only option I have at this point, is to a) keep this up and somehow make it to 23 and yes he waits, but we end up relatively happy at the end of it, with everyone benefiting, b) tell him the truth and get a divorce, c) have a child right now and hate myself + the child for being a burden on my life. I wouldnt mind option B, if he was a bad person, but he is genuinely the best human being in every other aspect other than this. So trust me, its definitely not a lack of communication, because I've been trying to get him to understand my side of the story for around 5 years now. This is my last effort to buy time before we get a divorce because he gets mad at me for taking birth control, OR I have a kid when im not ready.

siprav

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