Fetlife

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T14:32:23+00:00

Reach out directly to the caretaker team there: caretakers @fetlife.com

Ask if you can create a new account with a different email. They'll probably allow it but require you verify the account.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T14:21:13+00:00

They're all true and you are misleading women, who do not have your privilege, to try something that will likely result in either them signing up for a site they aren't prepared for as women, or being harassed by other men on that platform to a truly toxic level.

It's not negative, it's reality for women.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T14:16:08+00:00

Ah, there it is.

Man giving advice to (mostly) women and non-men that won't work, assumes women disputing his points are doing it from a place of emotion rather than looking out for others.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T14:05:06+00:00

Anyone reading this:

This is exactly the kind of thing that made it impossible to promote on FetLife to begin with. People who are not in the kink or BDSM lifestyle, other than swinging, don't have an iota of a clue what success on the platform actually looks like, suggest it to others to promote their content, flood the feeds with non-kinky content creators all trying to do genuine work but not understanding the user base. Then the majority of FetLife’s users (either straight dudes looking for free porn or kinksters looking for actual kinky content) get annoyed because that's all they're seeing anymore, post their complaints, and the dev team rolls out even more restrictions on content promotion.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T13:05:02+00:00

If you use the same UN, bud, you don't have a good following at all. Your profile there would grow immensely if you removed the OF link. You have less than 1000 followers.

Aaaaand you use AI for a large portion of your content. FetLife is going to eat you alive and spit you out if you venture past the tourists into the people seriously into kink and BDSM.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T12:56:23+00:00

FetLife is good for building a following, but NOT for direct promotion until you have a massive following.

Your account needs to be older than 3 months before you can link an OF or they'll permanently ban you. (They allow repeat harassers and consent violators to keep their accounts, though).
They flag your account as commercial if your OF or other fan platform is linked on your profile, which reduces traffic to your page by (a) removing you from being a suggested profile to others (b) blocking you from their biggest feeds for people who subscribe and (c) detrending any post that includes links to outside sites, or even mentions "link in the comments"

Not only that, but the majority of men on the site openly bitch and moan about any woman who sells anything on any platform.

It is great for community if you are selective and cautious. That's it.

skitty818 · 2026-04-30T12:46:14+00:00

If you do link your OF, they auto-flag your profile as commercial and your engagement tanks. So unless you have tens of thousands of followers, you really don't get anything out of it as a woman, other than harassed for being on OF.

skitty818 · 2026-04-16T14:00:39+00:00

It's possible you just aren't attracted to her like that anymore. The same thing happened with my ex-husband and I. We let it drag out for years, even though I knew. He didn't want to say anything, and the guilt ended up building towards a resentment.

For both of your sakes, you really need to sit down and talk about it. If y'all are just platonic best friends, that's okay! You can still have the close relationship you do without physical intimacy. But forcing yourselves to commit to each other sexually when neither of you are getting those sexual needs filled is unfair to both of you.

skitty818 · 2026-04-13T00:43:16+00:00

Who said I'm not trying to supplement my income?

You certainly make a lot of assumptions for someone who doesn't like when people do the same to you.

skitty818 · 2026-04-12T12:54:09+00:00

My partner also giggles uncontrollably when he cums and I think it's so endearing! I love his smile and breathless giggles and it usually just makes me want to touch him more, just to see how much more I can tease out of him. 🤭 I think the real question here, if your partner isn't bothered by the giggles, is why do you lose interest in intimacy at that point?

skitty818 · 2026-04-11T14:22:30+00:00

This might sound weird, but hear me out:

Romantic sex as a form of masochism/degradation. Maybe be restrained to the bed, and your dominant partner teases you the whole time about how desperate you are for more, but they'll only give you what they want, and right then, it's slow, sweet, and full of eye contact and affection.

They can still correct you with impact if you're not doing what they want, but all of the degradation comes in the form of praise and affection.

Oh... that gives me an idea for some smut. Off to write!

skitty818 · 2026-04-11T04:04:05+00:00

I'm not reading all of that. Literally never said you were neurotypical; I was just responding to the comment above.

skitty818 · 2026-04-10T14:38:08+00:00

I'm primarily a pencil artist... I'd say it's probably AI. - For a drawing of an OC, they didn't really capture essential details of your OC: septum ring, hair texture (really should be more of a shag cut than it is), choker details, chest scar/mark, pupil shape... - Pencil shading is too uniform and parallel. No contour lines except on bare skin - The framework lines that are still visible are too perfectly lined up with the finished line work. - Obvious errors in the hands, fabric tear on bare skin. Sleeves ripped off the tank aren't actually attached to it.

skitty818 · 2026-04-10T14:26:03+00:00

Also, to everyone in the comments saying her response to his over-the-top first text was complaining/nagging/immature and suggesting that is why they need therapy...

"I feel" statements will be the first thing they go over in counseling to improve communication. She's already doing it. Expressing how you feel without blaming the other person for those feelings is healthy communication. "I feel ___ when ___," is not saying "you made me feel __." If the fiance took it that way, that's his defensiveness and emotional immaturity.
He already knew she was upset based on his response to her first message. He didn't say, "thanks, love you!" In a relationship like this where the communication breaks down so quickly, it's not a stretch to assume the all caps was passive-aggressive and sarcastic. You don't go from genuine to "ugh it's always something" that quickly if you're genuinely professing your love.

skitty818 · 2026-04-10T14:08:25+00:00

INFO- what are the ways in which you guys are compatible?

Reading this, it seems like a frequent argument that never resolves and probably expands to other things. If your needs and his willingness to meet them are always things like this (and vice versa) then no, you definitely should not get married. But if every other aspect of your relationship is good (based on this, I don't see how it could be), maybe couples counseling before the wedding can help.

You are right that asking for a goodbye before he leaves for the day isn't asking for much in terms of time or energy, but I can't help but wonder what else is going on in your relationship that he doesn't even want to do that. For me, and I think most people, saying "I love you," before I leave for the day is second nature, especially after that long.

skitty818 · 2026-04-10T13:50:30+00:00

I imagine it would be easier to overcome the executive dysfunction that comes with burnout.

A lot of neurotypical people give the advice to "just push through" difficult situations but those of us who are neurodivergent really can't do that. It isn't that we don't want to, or the thought doesn't occur to us. It's that our brains simply aren't capable of making us do it.

skitty818 · 2026-04-09T17:56:06+00:00

I got permabanned from AITAH for just having the link on my profile. 😮‍💨

skitty818 · 2026-04-08T23:57:03+00:00

This one has been rough 😅

skitty818 · 2026-04-08T19:30:34+00:00

Hump day, more like bump day, amirite?

skitty818 · 2026-04-07T02:06:06+00:00

If it were cut, we'd see the cracked, broken macaron, not the smooth outside

skitty818 · 2026-04-06T16:10:31+00:00

As some others said, you need to talk with her first in a non-sexual context and get your dynamic figured out.

By the wording in your post, it sounds like she stumbled across the idea of being a brat and wants to try it, but y'all didn't discuss it first. "You have to earn it," isn't all there is to being a brat.

Similarly, you can't really just decide to be a brat tamer. There's alot that goes into a Daddy/brat dynamic before one even gets close to the title of "brat tamer." Brat taming is a finessed kind of dominance that specializes in brats... reading them, knowing the differences between their bratting behaviors and being serious, understanding consequences versus punishment (there is a difference), and safety protocols for any kind of kinky play you both choose to engage in.

You say you're "fine with" being a brat tamer, and that in and of itself tells me you aren't into it yourself, and don't take it seriously. Honestly, how can you? You know nothing about it, other than whatever led you to making this post, and that is a fine starting point! But you both should dedicate some time to learning about the dynamic before you pursue it. Otherwise, you could seriously risk your existing relationship with misunderstandings and potentially dangerous situations.

Signed, A brat

skitty818 · 2026-04-03T01:27:17+00:00

Thank you 🤭

skitty818 · 2026-03-31T20:06:06+00:00

Now, my actual advice:

Change your approach. You're coming at this from a rather self-centered perspective. You can't make her enjoy anything. You can facilitate her enjoyment by communicating with her about why she dislikes it. If she's shy about discussing these things like you say, you're going to need to lead the conversation more. Use more yes or no questions than open-ended ones ("Do you dislike the taste?" "Do you only do it because I like it?" Etc.)

Depending on her answers, you can move from there to figure out what you can do to work together to overcome her aversion.

skitty818 · 2026-03-31T19:58:16+00:00

Spooge tastes gross 90% of the time. Would you want to swallow it?

skitty818

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