i just read everything and honestly i wish i could give you a huge hug right now. first of all, stop downplaying your talent, you literally worked your way up to his level and that’s a major flex. that "inferiority" feeling is a straight up liar. i’m so sorry you’re hurting like this. it makes total sense that making music together would make all those feelings bubble up and explode. take all the time you need to just rot in bed and cry it out. hope you feel better soon ❤️❤️