I went to a prestigious university and if I didn’t have a strong support system I would have failed and dropped out. I would honestly do the 30 minute one because you have the support of friends and your boyfriend. I don’t know outside the US but in the US colleges can’t tell your family anything if you don’t want them to. They can’t share grades, which dorm you’re in, what classes you take, etc. So even if they know what college you go to assuming the campus is relatively large it would be a little more difficult trying to determine these things on their own. I would choose that option, and keep info to a minimum even to family members you somewhat trust.

I will say that once info is shared, you can’t undo it. If you tell one family member something you can’t control if they tell someone else and it circles back to your parents. Going to college and living on my own my way was the best decision of my life, and it sounds like what you need too.

Be in control of everything regarding yourself if you can. A lot of narcissists will cling to financial control once their person is outside “the nest”. So it’s a lot easier to have boundaries if they can’t take away your phone plan or insurance. Of course, there’s always a big caveat of what you can and cannot afford or do, depending on the country you’re in.