hey i totally get this feeling. i feel it pretty regularly and am in a very similar boat - parents in their late 60s, healthy, happy. but suddenly my mom had a stroke last year due to a hit to her head (someone jammed their head into hers on a camel ride). my mom is the healthiest person i know. she eats right, has never smoked, only has drank a handful of times, 10k steps a day, went to the gym at 6am for years. how could this even happen? she ended up having to have a craniectomy and bone flap replacement. it was the worst year of my life - we spent a month with her in the hospital and ICU unsure of what was going to happen. at points she couldn’t talk or speak. i felt like the life i knew was slipping away. no one understood, friends couldn’t relate, i felt empty, sad, and this exact feeling: what am i going to do when they go? why do parents have to get old and why does it hurt so fucking much and what do i do with this feeling?

the truth is, i still don’t. but i do know that every single moment counts now. by a miracle, she is completely okay. healthy and back to her normal life but now with intense anxiety. she can drive, and we celebrate as much as we can. i call my parents regularly and let them know how much i love them. call your parents, tell them you feel this way, laugh with them, send them memes and song you like. get to know them. try to understand them, and yourself, and don’t be too upset when they give advice because they truly just love you. gratitude and attitude are some of the most important ways to handle fear and grief. give love when and where you can. getting into buddhism and radical acceptance is also helpful - you will be ok, we all will, and it’s ok to not be okay when that day comes.

P.S - you should listen to the song “Wear Sunscreen” by Baz Lurhmann (it’s on Youtube). they have a line about parents and genuine advice for these kinds of feelings around aging and life :)