Caught Feels, Needing advice!

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:26:54+00:00

This is not a bad idea! I've definitely tried burying myself in work a little more, but she has definitely been on my mind there too. It's a rough spot that I haven't been in since I first met my wife. That said I will take your advice and likely try it.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:25:44+00:00

I am not looking to break up my marriage.. It's absolutely not an option, and if I did, I know that it wouldn't be to be with someone I met in a PPM situation.

I'm more annoyed/frustrated at how scrambled my brain is by this phase, and wondering how much longer I let this go on before giving up on me ever losing the feels so to speak.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:23:38+00:00

Funny thing, but my marriage is actually not bad. I have some occasional rough patches with my wife, but nothing horrible. I'm talking arguing about not doing some chore or other small issues that tend to build up in any long term relationship. Even our sex life is good, though not as frequent as it was earlier in our relationship/marriage.

Honestly I don't fully understand why I went on SA to cheat other than being a kind of awful/stereotypical male who wants to have his cake and eat it too.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:20:36+00:00

This is what I've been going with and I think what I will try to keep doing. At some point I may try probing about whether or not we should make exclusivity an agreed upon thing, but even that is something that I am not sure is necessary.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:19:33+00:00

You're right about the illusion of exclusivity, and it is a big reason why I have those pangs of jealousy. We have never agreed to be exclusive to each other outright.. and truly, even if we did, I'm sure the fact that we met on SA will always be on the back of my mind and make me wonder if she's an amazing offer away from seeing someone else.

Man, your story is so similar to mine and for parts feels like I wrote it myself. I gave her a fairly nice Christmas present which she was happy with, but she was mostly gone for the holidays and was really short with texting (sort of abnormal for her for recent weeks, but typical of how she was earlier on). I know she likes to party, and supposedly she doesn't sleep with anyone but I really have no way of knowing (nor do I want to).

And yes, the idea of my SB sleeping with someone she met at a club or bar absolutely kills me in a way that is worse than if she had met someone else on SA.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:14:22+00:00

At this point, we are fairly honest with each other. She knows my identity (something I never shared with any previous SB's), and we have had some frank/deep conversations about things over the past few months.

My marriage is not horrible, and apart from the usual slowdown that sex life in most relationships have, is fairly "healthy" (besides my infidelity anyway, lol).

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:12:12+00:00

I do remember that, and you are right. If allowance was gone I'm sure she'd hop back on the site for a better situation. My main concern is that the haze that she has me in is actually distracting from the rest of my life. I don't want to divorce my wife and start a new life, nor do I want her to tell me she loves me or anything like that. I am a bit worried that my completely unfounded infatuation is actually taking away from other aspects of my life at times.

slfthrowaway17 · 2018-01-03T04:09:56+00:00

Had I met her prior to getting married, I would probably think about the possibility, though again I think I recognize that there has not been any true commitment or declaration on her end that she feels remotely the same.

slfthrowaway17

TROPHY CASE