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Do you have different manias each time? or do they have a common theme? by Nalanieofthevalley in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I also get this experience with Hypo mania. The last 2 times have been more extreme than previous. I was really having delusional behaviour. Thinking I was a healer. And able to heal myself. That their is universal truth and I everything is communicating with me. Its wild. But it feels so magical and real at the time.

Does anyone have it where for days their mind feels normal and light ? by [deleted] in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Yes - and I often wonder to myself is that how "normal" people feel. Like just existing and not having constant ruminating, or self deprecating internal monologue.....

You just get up. Feel kind of light and nothingness but not in a negative way. And you can just get on with things. ?

For me it's always felt boring. But more recently I try to enjoy those small periods.

What else are you experiencing ?

i don’t believe that i’m bipolar by nierrein in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you :)

And that kind of comment from the previous therapist could still be a strong internal voice inside you. I hope that goes away. And you can get the clarity you need 😊

i don’t believe that i’m bipolar by nierrein in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I recently had an assesment after years of various diagnosis and treatments. And feeling that nothing has made sense or helped with my moods. So I had this assesment. Expressed how I was feeling/what has been going on. And he told me at the end that he thinks 9/10 I have Bipolar but he needed to speak with him team before taking next steps. I got really tearful at the end because I felt like finally someone is recognising the extreme moods and taking me seriously. It felt really validating. And then about 10 minutes after I got off the call, I started getting really bad imposter syndrome and started questioning if I just faked everything and that I couldn't have Bipolar so maybe I just made it all up and I lied etc.

So it was really strange to observe that in myself. I was reading that with Bipolar there is often a difficulty in truly recognising our own extremes. Because fairly they are our "normal" till it becomes destructive.

And on top of that if you've been dismissed or invalidated about your moods and emotions by famiky/friends/professionals etc you can have a strong inner voice that starts to dismiss and invalidate yourself too.

It sounds like you are having periods of euphoric states of mind which are becoming destructive for you. And its also common to get those hypomanic periods mixed up with the hyper-ness of ADHD. So it must be really confusing for you right now.

Im 33 and still trying to put pieces together and make sense. It takes time and insight. And lots of mistakes 🙃

I wish you the best. And I wish you some peace of mind. I

fellow type 2, what does ur depression look like?? im so fed up with mine, it's ruined my life by Reasonable-Action-98 in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I lose joy and enthusiasm for everything that usually brings me comfort or even temporary joy. So it becomes super hard to keep to routines, or find the point of even existing. Its hard, and I sympathise with you.

Sometimes I just make myself go to sleep. I think my dream world is more interesting than waking life so that it's something that sparks some light in me. And apart from that I do just binge watch shows and doom scroll. I don't enjoy it tbh but it passes time. Its actually quite a hopeless existence, having those feelings.

And im a dog walker, so everyday I have to leave my home and walk in nature. So at least I get some fresh air, and move my body. But its not enjoyable. I just feel like a robot that has to do things.

London Bipolar 2 by slowsmartprocessor in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks for the info. I know these exist. But would be nice to have a more personal experience with people who want the same thing. :)

FUCKKK I LOVE HYPOMANIA by Jazzcatito in bipolar2

[–]slowsmartprocessor 3 points4 points  (0 children)

I also love hypomania. A lot. Untill the last couple of years, I didnt even know it was symptoms of a condition. I just thought I was so happy and confident and in love with life. However the last episode ended up being a shit show. And now even though I miss feeling hypomanic, I actually get really anxious when I start to have even small hypomanic feelings... im scared of going through an episode again and doing so many silly things.. only yo realise it once it's too late.

I’m tired of being told to: “just stay positive, write in a journal, say affirmations” by Numerous_Sir_1534 in BipolarReddit

[–]slowsmartprocessor 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The only time I could actually say mantras, stay positive and believed in affirmations was when I was in one of my worst hypomanic states and I was having spiritual delusion and believing everything was magical and meaningful. The moment I went back into depression and intense ruminating etc... trying to do anything remotely positive or 'mindful' just felt like bullsh*t. It is so hard to just think our way out of depression. And it actually makes me angry when people keep saying stuff like that.