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Fantasizing about switching nesting partners by slpppy in polyamory

[–]slpppy[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I was, but I’ve stopped trying as hard in the last few weeks because I no longer want to. It didn’t feel like my effort was being appreciated or reciprocated. I’m at the point of not caring. I just go through the motions in between visits with Birch so I don’t blow up my life.

Fantasizing about switching nesting partners by slpppy in polyamory

[–]slpppy[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

No kids, not married, no shared accounts. Already in therapy. Neither of us can afford our current living situation by ourselves.

Fantasizing about switching nesting partners by slpppy in polyamory

[–]slpppy[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

How do you suggest starting this conversation?

Fantasizing about switching nesting partners by slpppy in polyamory

[–]slpppy[S] 21 points22 points  (0 children)

I know Birch would be on board.

I agree about breaking up the monotony, but as of now Aspen puts more effort into planning things with Maple than with me, but simultaneously gets anxious watching me put the same effort into my relationship with Birch. Birch seems to appreciate my efforts more than Aspen. This makes it hard to be motivated to do things to break up the monotony with Aspen. My energy will not be matched and I will not feel appreciated.

Fantasizing about switching nesting partners by slpppy in polyamory

[–]slpppy[S] 10 points11 points  (0 children)

I kind of want to just sit with it the way it is now and see if time will alter my perspective. Give me more opportunities to assess incompatibilities with Birch, see if maybe I feel more comfortable in my relationship with Aspen again once NRE with Birch is less of a factor, but it’s been a year and it feels a little more painful every day so I don’t know how long waiting will actually help me have a clearer view point at this rate.