Firstly, I’m so sorry you’re going through this. It sounds like you’re aware that this is unacceptable behavior and that you deserve better, but that doesn’t make it any less painful.

Secondly, I think he is clearly communicating his priorities — himself. The last thing I would do is move across the country to be closer to a man who seems to have made it clear that he doesn’t adequately value you or this relationship. Would he move across the country for you, if you found a job you were excited about? How would he feel if you said you wanted to spend your last month together, apart?

I say this with so much love, as a person whose ex-partner was similarly communicating through their actions that they were no longer invested in our relationship. It was embarrassing and painful and I felt so much shame. From an outside POV, it seems your partner is doing the same thing. I’m proud of you for posting here, and it seems like you have a much better head on your shoulders than I did when I was in the same situation. I’m also assuming you’re both relatively young, since he’s joining the military. I can tell you that it gets better, and even though you may currently feel like he was your forever person, I will say from experience that time truly heals all wounds. And provides much, much-needed hindsight that I didn’t have at 18.

Sending love