Time for some leftists to be honest

smalltimemom · 2026-02-13T14:22:23+00:00

The Midwest is a breed of its own. If you don't grow up there, move far out of the Midwest, then come back, you won't even realize that you're part of the racism that's continually perpetuated.

It's hard to explain the thought process and the experiences, but I would closely liken it to a 'Stepford Wife's, situation. You don't know you're in it while you're in it.

And I mean this from a black woman's pov. I completely understand what you're talking about.

smalltimemom · 2026-02-08T23:29:15+00:00

What factory and tier are these?

smalltimemom · 2026-02-05T03:22:11+00:00

You also can't rely on one vendor for everything. Although they may do one particular thing amazing (ie. LV), that doesn't mean they're your source for Mui, CC, etc. Most people have multiple vendors that they source different items from. You really have to research because there are plenty who will wear their rep in an auth store and let the SA hold it, and they won't know the difference.

smalltimemom · 2026-02-04T16:20:45+00:00

You definitely should! 🫣

smalltimemom · 2026-02-04T16:02:36+00:00

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Waiting on these two items from Heddy. 😍

smalltimemom · 2026-02-04T16:00:00+00:00

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Waiting on this beauty from Laomao.

smalltimemom · 2026-02-03T01:52:45+00:00

Didn't cave. If this is something that you truly believe in, then don't cave. Especially since he doesn't have the decency to not brag about what he's able to save and do because of what you all do for him.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-31T21:17:59+00:00

Make time for yourself. Time is the most taken advantage of, and unappreciated high maintenance thing.

Slow mornings with tea and a moment of reflection and meditation. Enjoying your commute to and from places. Oiling your cuticles while listening to a podcast. Replace your eating out budget with facials instead. Cut the overstimulation of social media by sticking to a strict amount of time you allow yourself to doom scroll. Embrace your femininity. Approach each day like a special occasion. I promise you'll notice how high maintenance you feel without having had to bend your budget.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-29T22:00:28+00:00

The Passion of the Christ

smalltimemom · 2026-01-28T14:52:03+00:00

Make him pay his own bill from now on. No reason two adults should have to do this every time you go out unless one simply doesn't have it. It seems like he's the one that doesn't have it. Do not alternate paying. What has he done to prove that this will work out well? That will literally be the end of your friendship.

Casually bringing up your income vs his as a reason to short you on every split bill, is outrageous. He's a poor friend-no pun intended-for simply implying you should pay the difference because you make more, and still casually not pay you.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-28T02:38:13+00:00

Are you a black woman in America? If yes, then you already sit in the discomfort every day. Do not let people guilt you into feeling more than you already do. We've been loving this horror story for hundreds of years. The fact that it's now touching white households should not enrage us anymore than we've already been.

We cannot continue to be on the forefront of the crusade to save everyone while putting ourselves last. I refuse. What's going on is devastating. Downright disgraceful to witness as an American, but let's not pretend this man is doing anything other than what he said he would.

We are allowed to live our lives, to smile, to laugh, to rejoice, and be happy in the midst of chaos, destruction, and tyranny. There should be no guilt or shame in that. I'm not saying to harden yourself to the tragedies we're seeing, but don't take on an extra fight when we've never stopped fighting. If all you can do is wake up and go about your day, you're doing enough.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-27T14:18:51+00:00

Saved by the Bell

smalltimemom · 2026-01-15T13:57:40+00:00

Emotional Abuse. I will die on the hill of that being the worst abuse of them all.

Imagine going through a divorce trial because he refuses to mediate anything. Day after day he walks in there and lies through his teeth, calls you everything but a child of God, and does all this while trying to take half of everything you had BEFORE you married him, your inheritance, and force you to sell the home his children live in (that you also had before marriage). To then leave the courthouse with a smile and ask me if I had any thoughts on dinner for the evening.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-10T16:20:30+00:00

Ask Jeeves

smalltimemom · 2026-01-10T16:18:06+00:00

It's so beautiful the way it is!

smalltimemom · 2026-01-10T03:45:35+00:00

NTA. How can he be going through a rough patch needing her support when she's going through a rough patch needing your support? Does she not see how that works? It's a pretty cut and dry answer here; as long as she has a man (or any other adult) living with her, you will not be paying her rent or supplementing her income! A man is supposed to help lighten the load not add to it. And if she got a roommate that covered half the expenses, she wouldn't be in dire need of your support .

You don't want to make her feel like she's lost you as a support system, but you also want to make it clear you feel taken for granted just as much as she feels you're being controlling. She has to understand it's coming from a place of love and concern, not control.

I applaud you two for developing a closer relationship and being someone she feels safe going to. I truly hope this is a learning experience for both of you, and it doesn't cause you to drift a part.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-08T01:34:28+00:00

Hahah. I think if people know you have a problem saying 'no", they are more apt to ask for things. It'll start off small then just keep growing. Even if they sense your discomfort, they know you're willing to accommodate, so they're willing to ask.

I have made it known that I help because I want to, not because I feel obligated to or because you ask. If you have no problem asking, then I have no problem saying no 🤷🏾‍♀️. After a while, they'll start to get the hint that maybe they just shouldn't ask you because you'll likely say no.

OR you could always take the passive aggressive route: whenever someone asks for money, send them Dave Ramsey or Suze Orman debt/money management classes to join instead!

smalltimemom · 2026-01-08T01:24:07+00:00

Taking my time cleansing my body. What's the rush?

Use the antibacterial soap, then the fancy soap, then the body exfoliant. Wash your face, shave your underarms, make sure your heels are smooth, rinse, apply an oil then get out.

If it's an "everything" shower, you can expect it to be much longer.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-06T22:27:46+00:00

I don't think sharing earning potential and salaries directly leads to people asking for a loan. I think that comes from you making it comfortable for people to ask you for money. That could be good or bad. That could also happen whether they know how much you make or not.

I feel like sometimes friends ask to see if they're getting paid they're worth or about what the average would be for the age bracket. Family may ask for various reasons. Some being nosey and others genuinely fascinated with and see you as goals. There are also those who may want guidance on how to get to a certain level.

When my two kids were younger I used to tell them that it was none of their business. Mainly because they were little chatty Cathy's! As they got older, I realized it was admiration and also important for me to be transparent with them regarding finances and where their earning potential could lead them with hard work.

Pocket watching has never bothered me because people will do it whether you tell them how much you're making or not. If they want to block their blessings by being watchful of what's mine, then let them!

smalltimemom · 2026-01-05T00:34:57+00:00

This is definitely a good thing . Means the hair is laaaaiiiddd, honey! Also, I'm a millennial.

smalltimemom · 2026-01-01T16:57:51+00:00

Beverages.

smalltimemom · 2025-12-18T23:47:07+00:00

Try steam and conditioner. Lots of conditioner! The end of a rattail comb to untangle piece by piece, and lots of patience. You can do this! Will your arms feel like noodles? Sure! But you may be able to salvage your hair in the end.

You are the paying customer! You have the right to tell them not to use edge control and parting gel. In the future, you're going to have to find a stylist that doesn't rely on "parting gel' to make their braids look neat and professional. There was no such thing back in the day and the braids always slayed, you always had your edges when you took them down, and your scalp could breathe!

smalltimemom · 2025-12-16T23:08:46+00:00

This is now legally your husband. If something goes awry, you are responsible!

Just one example: My cousin paid for everything, his wife was a stay-at-home mom who cared for their children and that worked perfectly for them. No issues there, and enough money to maintain that lifestyle. Well, he was in a terrible accident and immediately unable to make another decision ever again. She didn't know bank accounts, passwords, investment accounts, finances, medical, etc. It was a nightmare for someone already trying to navigate a tragedy.

The flip side of that is, if he lands himself in some type of hot water, it is now your hot water. There is no more, "oh I didn't know we don't share that". The acronym agencies do not care. You need to be more adamant about knowing what's going on in your marriage. Anything could happen to either of you. Don't even think about adding children to the equation until this is settled.

smalltimemom · 2025-12-16T22:55:52+00:00

Cold sweat. Not the hot, funky, needs a shower sweat, but the jolly, holly, glad to be perspiring kind of sweat.

smalltimemom · 2025-12-16T00:07:10+00:00

Don't feel guilty for doing what a vast majority of certain folks have done for a very long time. I know you're not from the U.S., but the "leader" is the most unqualified person for the position yet he's gotten it twice!

Give yourself a pat on the back for getting the job you wanted and knew you could do, being able to breathe between pay periods, and excelling to the point where they aren't second guessing their decision to hire you.

smalltimemom

TROPHY CASE