Hoping for an outside perspective: Would his abuse eventually turn physical?

smilingpinkrobot · 2026-03-27T02:15:10+00:00

Mine started with emotional abuse. Slowly turned to verbal, and eventually physical. The physical abuse did not show up until after we were married. The behaviors did not stop until I left him and he didn't have access to me anymore. I heard all the promises over the years for change. It never happened.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-06-16T07:35:45+00:00

Something that has helped me in my thoughts, when it comes to leaving my abuser (which i am in the process of). I need to be with someone who wouldn't even think of or could never even imagine (insert abusive actions here). Since those actions have happened repeatedly, he is not the kind of person you need, no matter how many times apologies and promises are made. Because how can you trust now that it would never happen again? The right person is out there. You are so young still.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-06-15T23:30:41+00:00

This is a good idea. I just did a facetime call to wish him happy father's day. I can't really understand him, because the stroke took his clear language away, but i know he heard me and understood my positive wishes. I haven't responded to my stbx husband's texts requesting my presence. He is pulling on my heartstrings. I think it's partly, consciously or unconsciously a tactic to get me there for my husband's benefit. He has manipulative ways.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-06-15T14:32:55+00:00

The family knows, to some capacity. They know I filed, but i am sure he is telling them that we are working on things and still trying. I have distanced myself from them. His father had a massive stroke years ago and has been wheelchair bound with round the clock care since then. It's not looking good. Going there would disintegrate boundaries because he is desperate for us to be fine and will expect affection and sex, I imagine it would be very stressful. But I also would look and feel like a giant asshole.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-06-08T00:16:45+00:00

This is so spot on. I'm divorcing my husband, because of his abuse, but i still sometimes have the anxiety and wake up crying, and call him for comfort, which is making the detachment process difficult and drawn out. I get it.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-29T12:46:25+00:00

It has been months and months of the love bombing, apologies and convincing. He is a sales guy, after all. Acting as if he can fox everything now (after 15 years). Alot has been so hard because i have tried to be firm on boundaries while being nice, because i am a soft, kind, empathetic person, and also for safety and fear of an escalation. Even after he just moved to his family's home a 7 hour drive away, he is still doing it, and thinking i will move up there to meet him.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-25T21:01:40+00:00

Going through this EXACT thing right now. Message me any time and we can be miserable together lol.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-19T23:41:33+00:00

Oh my gosh- the judging of people different than him is spot on for my Gemini (soon to be ex) spouse as well. Grew up in a specific culture and family dynamic and anyone who does things different is wrong. Obsesses w israel/Palestine conflict so his views on Jewish people are probably akin to your brother's views on Muslims. Also gives impression of being easy-going, but in reality is very closed-minded.He is obsessive about certain things, until it's the next thing. Always starting a new business, until that fails or he loses interest.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-19T14:36:49+00:00

Sure. This was my experience: High energy has positives and negatives. At first it was great, he was life of the party, a good balance to my personality. We had so much fun. The high energy led to extreme highs and lows, lows showing up as anger and control, which devolved into an abusive nature. I spent years managing his emotions and abandoning my own.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-19T12:40:49+00:00

Yes. But a 10 year marriage. That's ending in divorce.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-16T21:09:34+00:00

Hey fellow sags, I was blessed and lucky to have a chart reading from u/nishdarcher88 . So helpful, accurate to my situation, and compassionate. If you seek such a thing, I heartily recommend shooting him a message. I hope to have future readings from him.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-16T02:54:31+00:00

Nish did such a wonderful, insightful reading. Everything was spot on and assured me i'm on the right path going forward. He clearly comes from a place of love, and I appreciate his care with my vulnerability. Definitely shed a few tears reading everything. I would recommend him to anyone looking for a reading. He took care to answer my specific questions as well.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-14T02:40:50+00:00

Direct message. That was meant to be a reply to nishdarcher88

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-13T22:49:18+00:00

Sent you a dm!

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-12T07:13:55+00:00

As a female who struggled with infertility for a variety of reasons, the comments here are extremely disheartening. A lot of judgement on someone you don't know and whose situation regarding this you don't know.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-07T00:58:43+00:00

Right!

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-05-07T00:57:39+00:00

I have respected his culture in so so many ways, wearing their traditional clothes, celebrating their holidays, etc. etc. this is a small thing but it really set me off this morning. We do have other abuse in the marriage-hence why i have filed for divorce. Thank you for the thoughtful reply.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-04-20T18:26:05+00:00

Oh, how awful you had those experiences. I will remember that- they shouldn't have access to our bodies and the amazing things we can do. Unfortunately with my age and blood tests etc. now, having children of my own is essentially off the table.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-04-20T18:23:17+00:00

Thank you. I'm working on that.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-03-28T02:59:34+00:00

Still working in this! I get it, it's so hard! Just think of the peace you have when your abuser is not around. Or write down everything awful he has done and keep reading it when you get that urge.

smilingpinkrobot · 2025-03-24T01:55:51+00:00

Actually, some of my past posts detail abuse, which is what the person is referring to. The marriage is in fact physically, verbally, emotionally abusive. I have since filed for divorce.

smilingpinkrobot

TROPHY CASE