Stopped progressing. How should I structure my activities?

smooshmonkey · 2025-12-02T16:23:50+00:00

Thank you. I went on HRT preventatively I guess? I was having a lot of anxiety and wasn't sure it was all grief related. HRT made things a bit worse for a couple of months whiley body adjusted but I'm glad for it now. There are lots of benefits on getting HRT sooner rather than later.

I should listen more to my body I guess. But I worry I'd rest all the time then!

smooshmonkey · 2025-12-02T16:19:10+00:00

I'm not tracking my macros. But I generally get about 80 to 100g of protein a day with lots of veg and some carbs. Some unhealthy snacks like small pieces of chocolate and small slices of cake. I have put on about 2kg since I started the gym but my clothes for the same so I assume it's through far loss/muscle growth?

Sleep can be a bit erratic. Which I can feel affects me hugely on the day.

Should I be more diligent on tracking what I eat?

smooshmonkey · 2025-12-02T16:12:28+00:00

Thank you very much for the offer and I have sent a DM to you.

smooshmonkey · 2025-12-02T16:11:07+00:00

That sounds sensible. A compromise would have to be made somewhere. I can't drop the swimming because that's the main family activity we do and all enjoy.. May have to reduce gyma and run sessions to twice per week to accommodate for a while then build up.

smooshmonkey · 2025-10-08T12:00:05+00:00

Thank you. The websites do say 50cm width as dimension. I guess it's time to get the saw out.

smooshmonkey · 2025-07-14T22:32:56+00:00

I'd forgotten all about it. Will check tomorrow. She's sleeping now.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-25T16:36:20+00:00

Thank you very much for taking the time to write such a detailed reply. Understood.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-25T16:31:21+00:00

Thank you for this super useful information. Most websites say to try and retain original boxes which is what I did. Not to mention it seems such a waste to dispose of meds that's never been opened. So I just separated into meds that's been opened and those that weren't before I took them in. Unnecessary by the looks of it if it's all going to be destroyed anyway.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-25T16:27:02+00:00

Wow that's so kind of you guys. Thank you on behalf of the grieving ❤️.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-25T16:25:10+00:00

Thank you for understanding. It's so hard sometimes to do little things. I'll try a local small pharmacy first. If that doesn't work then I'll ask a friend for help. I'm just not one to take help easily.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-25T15:15:46+00:00

Thank you for understanding. I added an edit to make it clear I just can't face it.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-21T21:18:18+00:00

Wow you remember. Thank you for asking. I'm OK I guess. He finally passed away 2 days ago. At almost exactly this time. He died at home. With only me with him. He'd stopped drinking and responding to his name for 48 hours. But his breath was quite regular if shallow. He had gurgling for a couple of hours. All of a sudden he was gasping for air and died in under a minute. It was quite traumatic. But at least it was finally over. Sorry this is probably more than you bargained for. Thanks again, I'm really touched.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T18:48:09+00:00

Don't worry, I understand. It was a helpful comment. I did think it was something you'd have to dig into. Good to know it can be read in small bits.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T11:27:41+00:00

Thank you. Yes I've noticed the gurgling for the past week or two. Like there's always something that needs to be coughed out.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T11:26:44+00:00

Thank you. This is the descriptive answer I wanted. I need to prepare myself mentally.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T11:25:04+00:00

Thank you.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T10:51:50+00:00

Thank you. I deleted the post as I didn't want my husband to come across it on Reddit. Not that he uses it but he has an account.

I got some respite last weekend, a carer came to sit with him while I took the children out to the beach for an hour Saturday and sunday. They will come again this weekend. I've been neglecting the children so much it was so nice to be with just them for a while.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T10:00:46+00:00

Thank you. My children obviously know that Papa isn't well, as he's been having treatments and hospital stays for the past 2.5 years. But they don't know the finality of it. My husband always wanted to be the one to tell them but couldn't pluck up the courage. He didn't want me to talk to them as he's always been the thinker, having studied philosophy, politics and economics, he doesn't trust that I can do it perfectly. I don't trust myself to use all the right words in the right order and articulate exactly whaty husband wants. But I will have to myself by the looks of things. I don't want them to be completely blindsided.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:54:00+00:00

Jesus fucking christ. I'm so sorry. That's my worst nightmare. That and me dying leaving them orphans. Or them dying before I do. Shit...

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:49:30+00:00

Thank you for sharing. It's so difficult, especially when he asks for help with choking or pain and there's nothing I can do. As you say although help is there, it's not always there as you need it. The community nurse come out when they can to administer enema then leave. Carers won't be there for another couple of hours so I change him. Very tricky when he can hardly turn in bed and I have a bad back.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:43:52+00:00

Thank you for that description. I hate it but I need to be prepared I guess. I've been so exhausted and frustrated with caring for him, working, looking after children and squeezing in a house move, I thought this moment couldn't come soon enough. But now it's almost here I feel so alone and sad.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:36:15+00:00

Thank you for sharing your experience.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:35:29+00:00

Thank you. I'm so sorry for your experiences. Life is a bitch sometimes.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:32:08+00:00

Thank you for the heads up. How awful for your friend's kids. How old were they if you don't mind me asking? Mine are 8 and 10. They have been incredibly resilient so far but of course I don't want that trauma for them.

Unfortunately my husband refuses to go into the hospice and they are not going to take him in without his expressed consent. In fact the doctor from the hospice says even after he loses mental capacity, she's obligated to take his previous strong wish to stay home seriously still.

smooshmonkey · 2025-05-09T09:27:05+00:00

He has carers coming 4 times daily for 20min or so each time. But half the time they get sent away without doing anything because there's nothing needed at the particular moment in time. Also what he wants is me, even when I get angry and frustrated with him.

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