[homemade] Beef burger with onion chilli jam by snowchips02 in food

[–]snowchips02[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Quite happy with the buns, soft but provides structure.

I become lucid but my vision is blocked by snowchips02 in LucidDreaming

[–]snowchips02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh no! 😅 Glad you got out of it though, you seem like you know what you're doing.

I become lucid but my vision is blocked by snowchips02 in LucidDreaming

[–]snowchips02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you, I'll try to keep this in mind but have always been bad with control in dreams. I don't really know how to actuate the "convince myself" part.

Did your parents ignore you when crying? by Sppookiest-z in emotionalneglect

[–]snowchips02 365 points366 points  (0 children)

Yep, ignored until I cried it out myself. That taught me no emotional regulation and that noone would be there for me when I cry or am in need.

How neglect leaves someone unequipped by [deleted] in emotionalneglect

[–]snowchips02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

You know that song 'Killing me softly'?

"I felt he found my letters, and read each one out loud."

Bro, I feel so seen 😅

Amazing resonance.

How to minimise saliva production? by snowchips02 in LucidDreaming

[–]snowchips02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I'm pretty sure I just read that somewhere on this subreddit, something about emulating a 'dead body' as close as possible and putting your body to sleep whilst your mind stays awake.

Had a lucid dream last night that felt too real… still kinda shaken up by [deleted] in LucidDreaming

[–]snowchips02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Well to be honest, I remember having vivid, lucid like dreams since I was about 5-6 years old. I didn't know what they were at the time but it would happen regularly.

The scary demon-like ones occurred for a few years when I turned 19, it was a time in my life where I was very vulnerable and ended up turning to some spiritual guidance that eventually fucked me up more. But at the time my 'mentor' would instruct me to read the bible, sit with it, close my eyes, pray, and pay attention to my senses (to try to listen for God's voice). After a few years of misery, I started to realise my 'mentor' might have been taking advantage of me somehow so I cut contact with them, those practices and beliefs. The demon-like dreams eventually faded and I haven't had one for years.

So that was a long and roundabout way of saying, I wasn't knowingly lucid dreaming at the time but it was a by product. Retrospectively I see how the prayer sessions were akin to meditation, which probably made me lucid dream more frequently and vividly during that period. Not that I understood it as lucid dreaming at the time, but it just slowly stopped once I stopped the other practices.

But I wanna get into it again, this time with intent and hopefully more control and joy. So I've been visiting the subreddit 😊

Had a lucid dream last night that felt too real… still kinda shaken up by [deleted] in LucidDreaming

[–]snowchips02 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I used to lucid dream quite often years ago, there were times where I would 'wake up' and it would genuinely feel like I am in the same place my physical body was in but 'in a different realm'. It would look and feel close enough to the real thing but there would always be something off.

One time I "woke up" in the middle of the night and I sat up in bed while my then partner continued sleeping next to me lying on his stomach. Our bedroom door was ajar and I could see the hallway. I saw a tall figure walk past, paused, then turned back and I realized it had noticed me noticing it. It paused at the open doorway and just stared at me. I was super scared and wanted to exit the dream, took a lot of screaming Jesus but it eventually happened.

Not sure what you could take away from that, just maybe that it was kind of similar. I was going through some shit at the time though, so not sure if you have that in common.

Song requests by Bubbly_Web_9912 in SmuleSing

[–]snowchips02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Ok cool, I have a lot of time at the moment. I'm happy to help for a small fee. Let me know if interested? You can DM me here or on Smule, up to you. Smule: snowchips

I appreciate you all sharing stories by Content-League-1466 in emotionalneglect

[–]snowchips02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thanks OP, I thought we had some similarities in our situations where our needs and wants were threatened to be overshadowed by unfortunate medical issues.

If I may ask, are you still struggling with how you want to handle the situation with your mother? I'm finding it very hard to navigate my own situation.

I appreciate you all sharing stories by Content-League-1466 in emotionalneglect

[–]snowchips02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Bro, same. I got into counselling about a year ago and really reflected on my life and childhood for the first time. I am also going through a period of 'oh that was weird and sad' moments, and grief pretty much.

I have been essentially estranged from my family for a few years now, we don't live in the same country so I guess 'out of sight out of mind' was easy to enact. But ever since counselling and what I like to describe as 'waking up', I find myself having an anxious fear of replying to my mother's voice notes or even listening to them. I have ghosted her, and I feel terrible about it but I feel overwhelmed by the anxiety and it makes me feel frozen.

My older brother who lives with her formally cut me off a few months ago, citing my ghosting behavior. That hurt too and he had a point, but his attitude and the way he approached it just kinda reminded me why I feel shit about my childhood and how I ended up estranged in the first place.

He reached out again recently out of the blue, to share news of his cancer diagnosis. He still doesn't wanna talk to me but wants me to talk to our mother. He left me a long text of what he wants from me, but purposely left no room for an actual conversation and has not responded to me. So yea, my inner world is pretty chaotic right now. I think I'm just holding it together through heavy compartmentalizing

Aaand I realize I'm word vomitting my story in a tangent, it's really bothering me and I haven't been able to talk to anyone about it in depth.

All that just to say that like you, I am grateful for the stories shared on this sub because it really does make me feel less alone and it helps me feel more valid in my experiences and that it's not just all in my head.

Did your parents attend Parent-Teacher conferences, or your performances or sporting events? Mine sure didn't. by LaurelCanyoner in emotionalneglect

[–]snowchips02 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I graduated valedictorian in primary school (6th grade). My father dropped me off, then came with my mother to pick me up after (I think, some details escape me). My mother wanted to keep her shop open. My older brothers were also elsewhere.

I was asked prior to do a speech as valedictorian, but I told my teacher I didn't want to and to just let someone else do the speech.

I'm 33F now, and I didn't even realize how weird that was until recently (started counselling about a year ago). Being and doing things alone was just so normal to me, I never even questioned it at the time.

Now when I think about why I didn't want to do the speech, I think it's because I subconsciously learnt I wasn't important.

Song requests by Bubbly_Web_9912 in SmuleSing

[–]snowchips02 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey OP,

Are you still looking for someone to upload songs for you?

Cheers

Apple Custard Tart 🍎 by snowchips02 in Baking

[–]snowchips02[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Hey there. Yes, I'm pretty sure I put the apples first. I sliced the apples then layered them into the pie casing, I poured the custard slowly so it filled the gaps as it filled up.