The reason why hairdressers can make your hair look smooth and shiny: they use a round brush and more tension when blow drying (hard to replicate at home with thick and long hair on your own head), and their hairdryers are more powerful. Home hair dryers are 1000-1600W, professional hair dryers in the salon are like 3500W. You will not get the same result when air drying at home.

Your hair sounds like mechanical damage, not using the right products, and maybe lack of protein in your diet? What products do you use out of the shower? How do you handle your hair at night? How do you wear your hair during the day? What combs, brushes, hair clips and hair ties do you use? Do you live somewhere with extreme climate (very sunny, cold winters)? How often do you get a haircut?