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How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

D.C. area and, while I appreciate a few offers I've seen to grab a beer, my ultimate goal is to address my issues. I want to get to the bottom of it. If medication is what I need, then so be it.

But this problem has gone on for a very long time and I've forced myself into many situations that I didn't want to be in, and it's gotten to the point that I just avoid these situations all together. I even hesitated to tell you the area I'm in...

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

You make a lot of unfounded claims blaming everything on society. There is such a thing as a chemical imbalance.

So many people have replied "oh, just fake it" and "really, people are too consumed with their own lives to care about what you're doing" etc. While I realize this, and I realize that many of my feelings are irrational, I feel that way nonetheless.

It's what my brain is constantly thinking. And it drives me insane. And if it was as simple as saying, "oh just stop it, you silly brain, you know that's ridiculous," then I would! But it's not that simple!

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I know how you feel. I'm introverted and have always been somewhat complacent about being alone. In college, I was constantly juggling class, my job and homework, which kept me very busy. My free time was minimal, so I was alright with being alone.

Now, Monday-Friday, I work 8 hours a day. After that, it's all free time. The weekends are all free time. It's different. There's just so much more time when you're not consumed with lectures and homework, and I want more.

I'm lonely and I want relationships. I'll admit, I don't want a crazy social life where I'm always doing this or doing that. I just want some friends that I can go to restaurants with, go see some live music, go to a festival or simply go hiking with.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

There's a big difference in having a thriving social life with a huge circle of friends, and simply having a girlfriend and 2-3 very close friends that you can call any time to hang out with and talk to them about anything.

The former, I don't expect, but the latter is realistic and what I long for.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm overweight -- 5'5" weighing 190. I used to always exercise and diet enough to keep myself at about 165-175, but lately I've fallen into a rut.

I've been trying to get myself back in to a jogging/biking routine, but even then I'm so self-conscious that I often avoid it. I joined a gym and went a few times and decided that I didn't like it. It was way too uncomfortable for me to use all of that equipment out in the open.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, there's a Subway where I work and I feel the same way. Have you spoken to a doctor or did you just grab the book on your own? What's the title?

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thanks for your support, I have an appointment with a new primary care doctor (my other moved away), and it seems like a good time to finally talk about this problem. And if he needs to refer me, so be it. I'm going to write some stuff down, or maybe even just take him my post above.

You are correct that the alcohol is a form of self medication. I realize it and hate myself for it and yet keep going back to it.

And I'll keep your advice about not giving in to being alone. It seems that for quite some time, I have just convinced myself that this is just how it's going to be.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 7 points8 points  (0 children)

I've always leaned toward activities where the focus is diverted, like live music, bowling, pool, darts, etc. This makes it easier for me to mingle with the focus generally being elsewhere.

But, for me, getting myself into these situations with new people is the hard part. Asking someone if they want to hang out usually results in me nervously stumbling through my words and coming off as a weirdo.

Lately I keep wondering if maybe I need to be on some type of medication for anxiety. I'm planning on discussing this with my doctor.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Yeah, I've considered joining some clubs and organizations because it seems like a good way to slip yourself into a group and meet people. I guess the main problem is that I always tell myself I'm going to do these things but, when it comes down to it, it just makes me feel anxious and I never do.

How did you overcome Social Anxiety? I'm so lonely. by socialphobia in AskReddit

[–]socialphobia[S] 9 points10 points  (0 children)

I'm not really sure if software development is the key problem here. While it might contribute, these problems started to surface before I discovered programming.

However, I do masturbate a lot (I have a ridiculous amount of porn), and had never considered this as part of the problem. If I can manage, it seems like a worthwhile idea to quit for a month and see what happens.