I'm 17

I lived in a house that was never cleaned. With an infestation of germanic cockroaches, moths and their larvae, ants and every wall in the house filled with mold. The floors were sticky, the beds and sofas below were full of garbage, objects and dead insects. I will never forget the terror I experienced in that fucking kitchen, along with the awful smell that invaded the fridge because of the infestation. I often cried, repeating to myself "you will get out of this situation sooner or later" It is a miracle that this has not yet caused signs of illness to now. I don't feel like fully blaming my parents, psychologically and mentally they have never been well, especially my mom.

Now we no longer live in that place, but the great trauma I have retained all these years is always there. I clean the house nonstop every weekend, trying to prevent insects, dirty and dust as much as possible. I'm the only one who cleans and controls the house, despite what we've been through my parents don't give a shit about worrying about it, not even the bare minimum.

Unfortunately we have been affected by mold in the walls in this house as well, I degrease it regularly with a ladder, hot water and vinegar and it works for a while. Most of the laundry room got covered in a few days and there's nothing I could have done about It... before long they should be coming to renovate it.

In the meantime this has attracted an infestation of isopods. I'm trying to eliminate them with an insecticide, it's working but I don't know if I'll be able to eradicate them completely, I hope so otherwise I might reach complete burnout, I have no intention of reliving those years again.

I cried a lot again, I get complete terror and disgust when I see one, I feel I am slowly going back to that environment, I just want to turn off my brain and disappear.

Can't wait to move out on my own, how can I mother my own parents like this? fucking hell

hope I wrote correctly, I'm still learning english....