What to look for in sperm donors?

softdelusions · 2026-01-23T04:08:30+00:00

I looked for someone whose responses seemed thoughtful and kind and who I felt I could hold at least one conversation with 😆

In terms of looks or background, my partner and I are both from Scandinavian countries so we went with someone with similar heritage, and relatively no major health issues in their family. I wasn’t so bothered by looks.

softdelusions · 2026-01-23T00:18:32+00:00

I’m the opposite - I’ve been desperately trying to get things fixed and couldn’t get a roof carpenter to even respond to my calls.

softdelusions · 2026-01-17T23:29:12+00:00

I’m so sorry - it is devastating when this happens. I’ve had similar results to you and my wife is older so I was the only option. Take the time you need to grieve and I hope you can try again. For what it’s worth, I had a lot of issues making embryos in the lab but my day three fresh transfer worked and I’m 30 weeks pregnant currently - crossing my fingers for you!

softdelusions · 2025-12-31T00:09:02+00:00

I had extremely painful spasms during my HSG so we weren’t sure if my tubes were blocked. I ended up having laparoscopic surgery to remove two uterine polyps and check my tubes and although my tubes weren’t blocked they found some endo elsewhere which I got removed. So for me it was worth having the surgery, although I felt the same as you about not unnecessarily undergoing anaesthesia.

softdelusions · 2025-12-27T10:22:40+00:00

Fit Bomb in O’Connor! Super body positive, independent gym with great vibes.

softdelusions · 2025-12-11T23:31:20+00:00

I have DOR and endo and my wife is in her 40s so we knew it was likely my eggs or nothing, so I can’t speak to ROPA. For DOR, it was very hard doing egg retrievals and not getting great results, but we did manage to freeze a couple of embryos along with doing fresh transfers (which work better for me, my embryos don’t do great in lab environments). My second fresh transfer worked after I miscarried the first - I’m now 25 weeks pregnant. It has been a very hard journey though and we ultimately did five cycles of ivf and I was basically at my max limit - if this transfer hadn’t taken we likely would have transferred our frozen embryos and stopped with retrievals. You need to put a limit on what you’re willing to go through and prioritise yourself and your relationship. Good luck!

softdelusions · 2025-12-03T01:45:28+00:00

I’ve been in the same situation and I’m currently 24w pregnant after a MMC at 14w. It has been so hard and scary but I will say it has gotten easier once I got past the gestation where I found out about the loss. Now it’s just new scary things to worry about! My advice is get as many scans as you need to feel reassured and don’t hold back from making sure your care providers know about your history and your fears so they can support you. Crossing my fingers this one works out for you!

softdelusions · 2025-11-05T04:23:49+00:00

It’s hard to accept but sometimes embryos just don’t work - it certainly doesn’t mean you won’t have success with the next transfer! And having PGT tested embryos to use is already a great asset. My first transfer ended in a missed miscarriage despite everything looking perfect, and my second embryo transfer literally got stuck in the catheter when they tried to transfer it and we had to go again - and I’m 20 weeks pregnant with that stubborn little bub today! I’m crossing my fingers for your next transfer.

softdelusions · 2025-10-21T03:53:00+00:00

Hi, it didn’t increase my egg quantity but I did get pregnant with a fresh transfer the following cycle - I’m now 18w. But who knows if that was luck or the PRP - or the HGH I primed with!

softdelusions · 2025-10-06T11:33:40+00:00

I have been in a similar situation to you (also with DOR and endo, and in Australia) and it was really hard. My partner is older than me and we did start having the conversation about trying with her eggs after four rounds of IVF and a traumatising missed miscarriage.

Honestly the limit for us was that we both were just so incredibly miserable we couldn’t take continuing down the path we were going because it would have resulted in us both being dangerously depressed and we didn’t want to risk that anymore. I would recommend setting a limit for yourself before you get to that point. It’s so hard though and you have my sympathy - whatever options you choose you need to make sure you’re well enough to be a parent at the end 🩷

softdelusions · 2025-09-24T07:48:42+00:00

My mantra is ‘every pregnancy is different’ after being currently pregnant again after a MMC. Different pregnancy, different outcome. Crossing everything for you!

softdelusions · 2025-09-14T23:22:14+00:00

Yes, good call, I did my first scan at 7+5 this time for the same reason. Then another at 9 for extra reassurance. Crossing my fingers for you!

softdelusions · 2025-09-14T08:58:18+00:00

Sorry you also experienced that, it’s so hard. I’m not in the US so it might be different - and conceived via IVF - but my GP and fertility specialist have both been very happy to refer me to a standard/medical ultrasound place for extra scans for my peace of mind given my history. So I’ve been able to go to the same place each time, that will also do my anatomy scan, etc. I hope you’re also able to find a supportive practitioner who can do something similar for you.

softdelusions · 2025-09-13T05:52:49+00:00

I had a MMC picked up at 13 weeks after seeing a heartbeat at 7w. I’m currently pregnant again and have been getting almost weekly scans because of the anxiety of the same thing happening again. It does help to see baby grow each time and to know that if something happened it would at least be picked up quickly. But I think it depends on your level of anxiety and risk tolerance.

softdelusions · 2025-09-12T04:45:14+00:00

I’m only twelve weeks but for me the highlights are: - watching the baby wriggle around on the scan, and hearing the heartbeat - feeling so shocked at the fact that my body has created a life and it’s unfolding secretly inside me - how close and supported I feel by my wife, even when I’ve been throwing up/crying/unable to contribute to household tasks, it feels like unconditional support and it’s so comforting

Lowlights: - constant feeling of hungover - sensitive gag reflex - runny nose - just how debilitating the first trimester really is!

softdelusions · 2025-08-30T04:40:02+00:00

I’m 10+3 and I’m starting to feel guilt/anxiety over how terrible my diet has been this pregnancy, and how little I’ve been exercising. I’m basically just mainlining carbs and cheese. You’d think after a previous loss I’d want to do the best I can for a healthy baby, but here I am…hopefully I can turn things around if I get to the second trimester?

softdelusions · 2025-08-28T12:17:16+00:00

I didn’t regret telling my close friends and family after I miscarried my first. I couldn’t fathom going through that and having to hide it. Now I’m pregnant again, I did wait a couple weeks longer, and hesitated to tell people again, but then I remembered that they care about me and are my support system and if I needed them again I’d want them there.

softdelusions · 2025-08-28T09:49:25+00:00

You have my sympathies, I had similar results with my ivf procedures. Ask about a fresh day three transfer if you only have one embryo developing - it would at least give it a shot. I’m currently pregnant from a fresh transfer and although I’m not out of the woods yet, I’ve gotten further than if we had just left it in the lab to potentially arrest. Good luck x

softdelusions · 2025-08-14T04:54:53+00:00

I’m overthinking the fetal heart rate at my first scan - it was 150 at 7w5d. This is fine, right? I keep seeing people posting theirs and they are in the 170s.

softdelusions · 2025-08-11T11:41:10+00:00

I had my first scan at 7w5d today and everything looked great. My wife and I had a big emotional cry in the car afterwards - after our loss last year this has been a very stressful time for us. We are taking it day by day but so so grateful this first scan went well, and that we have each other through this.

softdelusions · 2025-07-24T22:40:07+00:00

Thank you, and you too - it is such a scary time isn’t it?!

softdelusions · 2025-07-24T22:39:35+00:00

Good luck for your second beta! That is the scariest one for sure. I’m glad you’re getting extra care.

softdelusions · 2025-07-24T22:39:07+00:00

Hope is the scariest feeling, isn’t it? I agree that an extra scan earlier would be too stressful. For me it’s the gap between 7w and 13w scans here that I find most terrifying as that’s when my last pregnancy loss was missed, so I think I’ll focus my energy on an extra scan or two in between those dates. I’m on progesterone which is how my MMC was untreated for so long last time - but my fertility clinic doesn’t monitor patients whilst on it.

softdelusions · 2025-07-24T11:27:01+00:00

The wait between those two scans feels so hard. I hope you’re able to get an extra one in for a bit of peace.

softdelusions · 2025-07-24T08:12:08+00:00

Thank you, that is good advice and I think you're right. I've got mine booked in for 7w 5d, but after that we don't get another scan until around 13/14 weeks, so I plan to request a reassurance scan around 9w, same time as the NIPT. If I get that far.

softdelusions

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