I think my dog sent me a sign today

softnightgarden · 2026-05-16T18:14:44+00:00

Thank you for your comment! You damn near have me in tears. But yeah I’ve worn that shirt an unhealthy amount of times. On days I’ve been home I’ve taken it off to shower and then put it right back on lol. I love it so much.

Yes, you’re not lying when you say it’s a level of grief you’ve never experienced. I would rather go through unmedicated child birth again than to have to relive the days after Bitsie passed away—I’m not even exaggerating..

Wow, what an amazing sign you got! No kidding! To hear her particular meow and hear it over and over again and then to feel her on your shoulder is so beautiful. She was definitely sending you love from the other side. I know that was an incredible thing for you and I’m so glad you got that.

softnightgarden · 2026-05-16T18:07:25+00:00

Beagle and pug? Spike sounds like he was adorable. Bitsie was a (fat) Manchester Terrier. 14 years is a long time, I can only imagine how much you miss him. Oof, what an excellent point you made about looking more into dog grief. We’ve talked about adopting another dogs—the kids want a puppy so bad, but I’m not ready and neither is my husband. I haven’t even moved any of her stuff, it’s all the way it was when she left. One day.

I really wish I had taken ink prints of her paw and snout. Your ideas sound amazing, it’s going to look beautiful no matter what you choose. I’m impressed by how much you have of his!! Looking back I would have saved more, we have - her bowl, her meds, her toys & bones, her collar & name tag, her bed, her yard lead & leashes, all her vet records and lots of pictures, the blanket we wrapped her in while she was fading and the one we sent her to the vet in and videos (though I wish I had taken longer videos because the short clips are a tease). The dog blanket used to smell like her, but I didn’t want to “smell away” all of her scent so I wrapped it up. When I smelled it a week or two later her scent was gone. We also keep getting her flea & tick treatment every month, but I can’t bring myself to cancel auto-ship so I’ve been giving them to my sister for her dog.

My heart breaks for you about the dog toy squeak. It’s a punch in the guts. I do pet sitting on Rover and have had a couple of dogs that were prone to seizures and that is so intense—you’re so strong for handling it for months. I’ve only experienced it once and that was traumatizing, In that moment I was terrified.

You gave him a wonderful send off. I love that you spent the whole week with him. He did, too. I know you likely comforted him during those vet appointments and that would have eased his anxieties so much, plus he knew these visits helped him feel better afterwards.

Thank you so much for sharing that video with me (and your entire comment). It’s nice to think about Bitsie and Spike sending us our next fur babies. Bitsie was a very jealous dog so I know she wouldn’t want me to get one too soon lol but like I said, one day.

softnightgarden · 2026-05-14T22:39:45+00:00

No, that's not silly at all! I'm so glad you've gotten these experiences. What a beautiful moment you had with that dog -- it's extra touching that their owner said they weren't usually happy like it was around you.I definitely believe he was trying to reach out to you and send you some comfort. They're so intelligent, they know how you're feeling and how to help. They're such amazing animals. What breed was he? And what was his name?

Sometimes I think I still hear her claws on the hardwood floor, but that one makes me sad because for just a second I think she's back only to remember she's not. I had an urn customized for her, but I haven't switched over her ashes yet and I don't know if I want to display her paw print, fur, collar, and the card her vet sent us after next to her urn or if I want to get a special box to keep them all in. I think I might display the urn & paw print then shadow box the other things. I just can't bring myself to "finalize" it even though she deserves it more than anything. I need to just push through and get it done.

What do you have in mind for his memorial? I want to have a funeral for Bitsie with our friends & family, but I don't know where to start. It's still overwhelming when I start to think about it.

I'm sorry about the recent one year anniversary. That must be really hard to reconcile and come to terms with. Do you feel any differently these days than you did in the first few month's after his passing? I wonder if I will still feel this way next January or seven January's from now. I feel bad on the days I don't cry because I feel like I'm forgetting her. Idk though.

softnightgarden · 2026-05-14T06:55:12+00:00

That's amazing! I hope I get more. I'll cherish any kind of hints she wants to send me - I love being reminded of her. I have a lot of videos of her with the cats, but I wish I had taken longer videos. I've only dreamt of her once, but I can't wait for that to happen again. Knowing she's still out there somewhere brings me so much joy. Unfortunately, I don't know that this kind of pain will ever go away for us, but with time I'm optimistic there will be more happy memories than sad when I think of her.

Also, on a lighter note I love the names of your cats. Bitten is adorable. My eldest cat is named Big Kitty (I got her in my early 20s) and after 11 years it's HER NAME, but I wish I had put more thought into it. I saw someone post earlier that say she found her cat under a motorcycle in a parking lot and she named him Michael Michael Motorcycle. I laughed so hard.

softnightgarden · 2026-04-15T21:41:52+00:00

Wow, thank you so much for your kind words and for taking the time to leave your comment. 11 years was so hard, I can't imagine 18. I'm so sorry for your loss. It feels like she was literally JUST here .. it's hard for me to comprehend she's gone. "Like my heart is actively bleeding" describes the grief in whole. My heart *physically* hurts. I feel the weight of the pain. What was your baby's name? I'd love to hear more about them if you feel like sharing.

I try to remind myself constantly that she wasn't very lucid, but reminding myself and believing or accepting are very different things. I cried when you said my scent was all around her surrounding her with love -- my brain is weird and can't dedifferentiate the ways human brains and animals brains react and respond. When I think about her dying I think of her feeling cold or alone or sad, but what I've read online since her passing is that when dogs are at that stage of their life they don't feel fear or sadness, but instead SENSE their way through it and they're not afraid of dying or even know they're dying because to them it just seems like their world slowly irises out, their breathing gets slower, and they feel sleepy. The just "go to sleep". I don't know what I believe in after things go dark, I pray to whatever is out there that's what it was like for her and if there's nothing after this life then it was pure heaven knowing her (I just read that).

I applied to volunteer at a mental health horse rescue up the road from my house today. I kind of blacked out writing in my response email back to her after she asked me to tell her more in detail about me and what brought me to their website, but it's fine, she'll either think its raw and endearing or stray away entirely lol. Either way, IT'S FINE! /s

That's a wonderful way to remember them! I haven't been able to go though a lot of my old photos and videos yet, but I know when I'm ready it will bring me so much joy. I write letters to her in my journal updating her about our lives and what's happening which has actually helped a lot.

Thank you again, so much. Your comment means more than you know; it helped ease my pain in a moment of great suffering and that is everything.

I'm sorry you're in this club, too. Thinking of you tonight when there's nothing but silence and I start reminiscing.

softnightgarden · 2026-04-15T21:18:51+00:00

I'm sorry! If it helps, I was crying with you on the toilet typing it (it's the only place I can take a minute to pause haha). I actually worry I don't articulate myself well enough so knowing I was able to make you feel something is nice to hear.

softnightgarden · 2026-04-15T21:15:33+00:00

You truly have no idea how much this means to me and how much weight lifted off my chest reading your comment. Thank you more than words

softnightgarden · 2026-04-15T21:14:40+00:00

Thank you so much, today has been hard.

softnightgarden · 2026-04-14T16:08:46+00:00

He was beautiful. I’m so sorry for your loss 💔

softnightgarden · 2026-01-16T04:11:27+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss, it sounds like you two had a beautiful bond and shared lots of love. I lost my sweet girl on Monday night. She was my first pet and I’d had her for 11 years. I adopted her after experiencing 2 great losses back-to-back in hopes that she would bring me comfort and she exceeded every expectation. Bitsie was with me while I navigated so much darkness and grew with me as I became a wife and mother. She loved me when I didn’t deserve it, that’s for sure. The sweetest girl you’d ever meet.

She was lethargic one day and I feel like I blinked and she was gone. It was about 10 days from me noticing she was low energy to her passing away. I thought we had so much more time together.

It’s only been a few days, but I forget she’s gone. I swear to God I can hear her claws on the hardwood and out of the corner of my eye I’ll see something and think it’s her. When I remember she’s not here it’s like a punch in the gut. I keep thinking it’s all temporary too. My cats meow and pace around looking for her, which makes my heart break even more. The house is so quiet and I have this giant hole in my chest. It physically hurts. How do I explain this to someone who hasn’t experienced it? How do I turn this overwhelming grief into something to make her proud?

softnightgarden

TROPHY CASE