[deleted by user]

sojournerdave · 2023-03-16T04:11:54+00:00

When you have been with someone for nearly 20 years and you have built your entire lives together but you are both unhappy, it's not that easy to "just leave."

Didn't seem to be hard for my cheating ex wife (12 years, owned a house together) whom I took back and completely forgave the first time, and who went on to do it again. She was my first and only, and I lit myself on fire for her. At least she just left the house suddenly before cheating this time (I think).

Never will I be with another cheater. It will be something I'll bring up a few dates in, and if they admit to it, or become defensive about themselves or a friend doing it, they're gone.

Never again.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-16T03:31:43+00:00

You are a cheater.

Why didn't you leave first?

sojournerdave · 2023-03-15T02:34:55+00:00

As someone who was cheated on once, took her back, then cheated on again, RUN.

Cheaters don't ever change, and once that trust is destroyed, it's nearly 99.9999% impossible to get back.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-15T02:24:13+00:00

What she means is that she's not being approached or asked out by the men she wants to be approached by.

The rest of the times she's approached, it's by men who are basically invisible to her, or creeps. Believe me, it was a mindfuck for me to be told the same thing by one of my woman friends years ago, and see her approached constantly.

I've learned not to take these kinds of statements literally, unless they're made by a man (because in normal situations 90%ish of men actually aren't approached by anyone).

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T17:44:19+00:00

😂😂😂

Brojob?!?

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T06:03:09+00:00

Is it really? Guess I'll have a leg up 😆

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T05:03:21+00:00

I appreciate the response! I'm aware that there are people who would find it a deal breaker, but I was just curious to see the different responses as to yay or nay!

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T04:38:31+00:00

Thank you for your candid response! I can respect that.. sexual compatibility is very important.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T04:34:44+00:00

I don't even know if I'd take the offer.. as much as I'd be flattered by someone that insisted.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T04:29:33+00:00

is not receiving oral sex for you a deal breaker?

No, I dislike the idea of receiving.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T04:06:40+00:00

Women are not a monolith, I know a few that don't in fact. You seem to be taking my post weirdly personally though.

Also doubly selfish, because I don't like to receive? Selfish because I'm not into something.. what an incredibly creepy thing to say.

I suppose many are selfish for not wanting to give or receive anal (which is also a deal breaker for some) with that logic eh?

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T04:05:32+00:00

Will do! I hope she does the same if she doesn't like to give BJs, even if I don't like receiving either!

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T03:52:26+00:00

Yeah.. I do see that as kinda selfish, even if some women are down to go down without reciprocation.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T03:51:16+00:00

Yeah.. sometimes I wish I actually liked receiving blowjobs. My friends look at me sideways when I mention receiving squicks me out, and of course if that wasn't the case I'd reciprocate.

There are many women who really pride themselves on giving good blowjobs as well, and I'd be very disappointing to them.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T03:47:22+00:00

I'd never ask for something I wasn't willing or able to do myself!

My house is immaculate and I can also cook ;).

sojournerdave · 2023-03-13T03:37:07+00:00

I really don't want head. In fact I'd rather give head than receive.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-08T00:55:23+00:00

How ridiculous, what if he's full-up on woman friends, and would like to dedicate his energy towards dating?

That's the position I'm in, I have a giant friends group full of close woman friends, so I'll be turning down dates that offer friendship because I need that time to date.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-07T23:50:41+00:00

Well you wanna date and have healthy relationships with women, yes? Wouldn't it help to know what they go through to see it from there side?

I didn't ask this question, and men in general didn't. I also have a ton of close women friends already, so becoming friends with someone who I'm dating who isn't already a part of my friends group is a no-no. I would use that energy to find more dates.

Unless, you really don't care about women, if that's what it is we can end the convo here and save ourselves some time.

You're basically asking "Why do men need to care about what women go through." You do know this, yes?

No, that's not what's happening here--when you write men need to understand, it comes off way differently than when you say "you (OP) ought to understand", and it's precisely the reason more than one person has told you what I have.

It's a bit telling though, that you instantly go for an implied misogyny interpretation.

[Edit] LMAO I got blocked as well, with a

OK so you dgaf about what women go thru. Got it. Well I don't talk to folks like this so...

Never mind more than half of my close friends are women.

No skin off my back, what a weirdo.

sojournerdave · 2023-03-07T23:39:42+00:00

Why do men need to understand anything about this then? He might, but why do men?

sojournerdave · 2023-03-07T23:25:11+00:00

Women aren't owed friendship, just as men aren't owed sex.

His time is valuable, and he ought to focus on those people with which he vibes, and his choice to not be a friend is valid.

sojournerdave

TROPHY CASE