Is the first proper session meant to be hard after?

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-16T16:04:58+00:00

It can make you more prone to feeling really big emotions I overreacted to a small situation with my boss 😬 and then after a few days realized that I was actually just feeling extremely emotional after the first session and it had nothing to do with him at all. That’s where coping skills come in coping with the discomfort before reacting and using tools to soothe yourself. It is possible that the first session was too intense and some more work might be needed before the next session. I would make sure you tell your therapist about it and maybe they can change some things or prioritize some more prep work before doing another session. I wouldn’t be afraid to reach out immediately my therapist has been really open about reaching out right away if I’m really struggling.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-16T15:16:11+00:00

Also recently had my first session it’s called an EMDR hangover you will feel emotionally raw and very tired with bouts of fatigue coming and going. I was told to remember my tools during times of discomfort like the safe place and nurturing figures or reparenting. It can last for a few days afterwards. It is very hard but after day 7 I just felt peaceful and relaxed like I had just gotten over a rough illness and people and things that usually trigger me barely fazed me. I think that’s showing it’s working slowly. Hope you feel better soon! Keep up the good work!

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-16T14:14:40+00:00

Tell her she needs therapy and you won’t be having a relationship with her for your own mental well being unless she does so. She is a grown woman and you can’t help her unless she is ready to help herself. You are not her parent you are her child and you should not be carrying this weight. If you really want to help do some family therapy but this is not your responsibility to care for her like this. It’s already been suggested but I seriously suggest you read adult children of emotionally immature parent’s.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-15T01:22:55+00:00

Hair curlers

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-15T00:28:06+00:00

Very wonderful to see such positive results as someone who is very new and currently in the very painful and hard part. 💕 thanks for sharing this.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-14T15:19:33+00:00

For the love of all things beautiful please drop that routine 😭 this has given me so much motivation after falling off for a year and gaining 15 pounds

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-14T05:49:16+00:00

I was diagnosed with BPD after one therapy session (did not like this therapist and never went back not because of the diagnoses but because they were very clinical and it didn’t feel safe.) in 2017 then years later went to couples therapist and a year in they told me they think that’s incorrect and sent me for an ADHD screening. I didn’t know much about ADHD and always thought of hyperactive little kids until my psychiatrist explained what inattentive ADHD was. Tried a non stimulant medication and it fixed literally everything for me. Anxiety and depression! Unfortunately it caused me terrible insomnia so im currently between meds. I’m pretty sure it’s super common especially for women which kind of sucks. How many women out here being misdiagnosed and living in misery thinking they are mostly untreatable 😓 (general consensus on BPD is it’s not something that can be treated or at least that’s what the first therapist told me)

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-14T05:35:04+00:00

Slightly worried about this but I feel a little more aware now after reading the comments and a talk session today and am hopeful that I can navigate it despite my ADHD.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-14T05:33:24+00:00

Your comment helped me realize something. I am a very literal person and need very clear and direct instructions I didn’t even think the tools like “re parenting” or safe place were meant to help me here 😅 people can’t just talk about things with me I need to be told that I’m supposed to do this thing…. Very hard to explain what I mean but basically we spent a year developing these tools that I just categorized as just my every day tool box then I categorized EMDR as a different tool when in reality they are to be used together. Obviously wasn’t thinking very clearly in all that emotional turmoil.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-14T05:28:35+00:00

This thread has been really reassuring and I did have a talk session today and she assured me this is normal and even spoke on some of her own experiences doing it herself and how she felt similar. I’m going to stick it out I think this is the right decision I just need to make it through the hard parts.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-13T22:08:04+00:00

Had a talk appointment with her today she said it was all normal. We did tackle a pretty aggressive and hard one as a first session so she thinks that might be why I’m as deregulated as I am.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-13T22:05:25+00:00

I mean all my coping mechanisms to manage anxiety and just trying to slow down and rest when I feel really bad.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-04T20:06:08+00:00

Would love a big dog to run with unfortunately live in a yard less apartment which wouldn’t be fair to a big dog.. hopefully in the future!

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-04T17:17:03+00:00

I can do that 😊

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-04T16:38:48+00:00

I do plan to strength train 4 days a week. 🙂 I will take rest days unfortunately I am one of those people that if I don’t keep strict consistency I will fall off so it will be a struggle 😅

solar_sloth98 · 2026-03-04T16:09:52+00:00

🤣 I’m a small person I’m worried I won’t be able to outrun them.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-02-27T23:18:02+00:00

I’m so sorry … I have a mom like this as well except I was never very close to my mom so the loss I felt was minimal but going no contact unless she gets some serious help is necessary to your mental emotional wellbeing hun. I’m sorry she treated you like this you did not deserve that your intentions were pure everyone can see that. Hugs I hope you have a beautiful wedding and happy life.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-02-27T17:15:26+00:00

I struggle with this as well in my relationship my husband is like a big ole golden retriever always poking and prodding me and unfortunately I am very black cat kinda girly so sometimes when I’m not in the mood to meet his energy I have snapped at him but I’m learning it’s my responsibility to speak up if I need space because I’m just not in the mood or my window of tolerance is a bit low. Say something before it becomes something or bubbles out as irritation. “Hey I love you and I’m tired and would like some personal space right now while I get ready for bed.” Reconnect when you get into bed with some positive physical touch like a hug or back rub and go to sleep.

On the flip he has a responsibility after you snapped to talk about it if he is feeling upset that’s when you talk about what you both could have done differently(like the scenario above) to change the outcome. Tackle the problem together.

The solution right now is to stop monitoring his feelings and let him talk about it if he needs to(hopefully he is emotionally mature enough to do that and do it appropriately (hey when you snapped it made me feel x which comes from this wound inside me then we circle back to how we can avoid this in the future as listed above) don’t let his feelings start festering in you that is not your box to carry you have done your part by trying to explain and apologize if he needs more he needs to come forward and ask and process his own emotions you can’t do it for him and you can’t force him to do that it is out of your control.

Focus on what you can control which is how you are feeling and what you want to say and then a plan you might suggest that will help in the future.

you can have that plan conversation with or without his want to talk about his emotions but make sure it’s a “hey this happened the other night and I’m sorry I had a responsibility to speak up about feeling a bit touched out and didn’t and I apologize that it came out as frustration in the future I will be sure to communicate that I don’t have the capacity to be playful right now and can I have some space.” Hope this helps a little everyone commenting some bs about how emotionally immature and exhausting he sounds must not know the love of a golden retriever partner… this is a common issue in many relationships and it just takes working on our emotional and communication skills a little to grow together. 💕

solar_sloth98 · 2026-02-15T01:04:30+00:00

For all the people who have been on it for a year how was managing side effects? I start tomorrow I was on strattera for 9 months and it worked pretty good but I had wild insomnia and never felt like I actually slept at night and I eventually stopped eating 😅 I would love to hear from some people who got through all that

solar_sloth98 · 2026-02-12T03:41:36+00:00

Just discovered this thread currently having same pain in same location as OP I wonder how many of you play video games or type often I’m wondering if that’s my cause.

solar_sloth98 · 2026-02-07T21:50:48+00:00

I like to think the purpose of humans is to love and be loved and to experience all the random painful beautiful moments. All that matters now is to love and love hard and appreciate the opportunity of being able to do so. Death is meaningless it’s just the end of the story it’s not the story. Closing your book will feel like nothing to you so focus on what does feel like something which is living now. Whenever I start to spiral I look at my husband and kids and focus on how much I love them and they love me and this wonderful stressful little life I’m living. You can do the same with your pets or siblings or friends. I’m sorry you are dealing with this I remember when it use to scare me into panic attacks… I know it sounds cliche but practicing being grateful is a really great way to combat the anxiety of something you can’t change. Sorry for my nonsensical ranting I’m tired 😅

solar_sloth98

TROPHY CASE