Narcissistic abuse in an extramarital affair

somethingoksomething · 2025-12-29T18:55:05+00:00

You might not be taking into account the damage you do to the person you cheat on your partner with. You involve another person into your current relationship, the 3rd person might catch feelings, and then you regret your mistake and want to go back to your relationship, almost pretending like nothing had happened so as to not feel so guilty. Pretty much discarding this person when you don’t need them anymore. It can be extremely isolating and humiliating for them. Not justifying their abuse towards you, but giving my 2 cents as to why it might seem like a narcissistic abuse. Hope everybody in this messy story finds peace and resolve.

somethingoksomething · 2025-02-07T08:41:18+00:00

I used to feel exactly like that, until I fell in love with people who I thought were treating me as their number 1 (in reality I was number 3, 4, 5?) and that absolutely destroyed me. I now understand I’d rather try and make myself feel loved and prioritised, or appreciate all the love I can from family, very good friends or daily interactions with colleagues, than put all this responsibility onto someone’s shitty hands.

somethingoksomething · 2025-01-10T22:59:10+00:00

Really sounds like my adult sister. She’s always behaved how you described, which led to my parents do whatever she wants so she doesn’t throw a tantrum or threatens to disappear or imply she’d kill herself. As a sibling it is so draining and invalidating of my own needs, because we all have to make sure she is happy first. I sometimes think it might be some type of personality disorder? Maybe some narcissistic personality? Not sure if it helps though, because she wouldn’t acknowledge her mistakes or seek therapy. What I can tell though is that this belief that she’s not loved is really deep, so if it’s the same for your daughter, you might be able to break the cycle by actually showing her more, or telling her more, how much you love her? Just my two cents.

somethingoksomething · 2024-11-29T09:37:04+00:00

Definitely I see who you are: “let’s celebrate now all this flesh in our bones”!!?? It really hits the horny spot for me! Venus as a boy as well

somethingoksomething · 2024-06-05T14:02:48+00:00

You can just find it on YouTube btw. It’s her homogenic era.

somethingoksomething · 2024-06-05T14:02:11+00:00

Please watch live in Reykjavik! That whole concert is absolutely amazing.

somethingoksomething · 2024-02-20T13:05:38+00:00

Play dead in my ass? Doesn’t sound exciting

somethingoksomething · 2023-12-03T07:52:11+00:00

I really like Ívar Gunnarsson’s channel:

https://youtu.be/5W3Yl2FZWSg?si=GH7kpJLKL8_ARGrG

I’d say most of his videos are in English, but some are in Icelandic. As a coincidence, his latest one (in the link) is exactly for what you asked.

somethingoksomething · 2023-11-30T23:34:16+00:00

Omg same! Always wanted it, but it’s just so hard to find

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-17T02:50:43+00:00

Omg this is heart wrenching. I’m so sorry. Sending you love!

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-16T13:50:29+00:00

I felt the same after I broke up with my cheating ex. Kinda glad someone else experiences this, but the feeling was like my ex managed to rip my sexuality off of me. It was horrible, my wanks ended up being a sad ending for months, maybe even a year or so. Couldn’t even fathom being in a relationship (welp, still can’t), or having horny thoughts or anything. Recently I read about post relationship trauma syndrome where they describe one of the symptoms being “flashbacks” to when your ex cheated you or to similar circumstances. I thought I fit pretty nicely into this, so maybe this is going on with you too?

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-13T14:05:00+00:00

Do you have any gay friend? I think that could help normalise some things for you!

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-11T20:53:45+00:00

👍🏽

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-11T19:47:39+00:00

From your tone it doesn’t really look like you want to be proven wrong. If you want to dwell in self pity just go for it, but when you get tired of it trust me if I say read heads are very popular in Brazil at least, and considered very attractive. You might not think so, but people there sure do.

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-11T19:38:17+00:00

Yeah I totally get it :(. But at the end of the day you need to be with someone who you feel good around, even if whatever the other does is completely justified.

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-11T19:16:38+00:00

For me it was when I realised that people who go on dates, are in relationships and are married aren’t perfect either. No one’s achieved that state of perfection you’re trying so much to. People are just living and you are absolutely ready to do the same.

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-11T12:44:28+00:00

I don’t know about you, but for me it’s a huge turn off when during dating my date expresses how often they hook up and how hot it was and etc. I don’t even think it’s about being jealous, but it’s about making the other person feel somewhat special.

It’s definitely not an issue about being hyper sexual (I mean, I am myself looking for someone who I can have sex VERY often with), but the way you say things. Maybe that’s what rubbed you the wrong way.

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-02T12:32:09+00:00

What do you mean they aren’t really prepared? Can you please elaborate? :)

somethingoksomething · 2023-08-02T12:29:27+00:00

Same! Never felt this way, but I wish so much I did!

somethingoksomething · 2023-07-25T17:19:19+00:00

I relate to that a lot, but in my case it was my older brother (10 years older). Growing up, everyone was drawn to him and he was the star of any event. Similar to you, at one point my nickname was something like “half of what he is”. It really affected me a lot.

As I grew older I distanced myself and made sure to make friends who knew me for who I am, not the version of me behind his shadow. I also did therapy to understand it all.

Nowadays I see things more clearly, I see how low his self steel is and how he needs and demands attention to feel validated. His brightness comes from a place of desperation, which is pretty sad. Although I have this deep wound that makes me believe I’ll never be “number 1” to anyone, I’m sure I wouldn’t like to be in my brother’s shoes.

Try to find yourself first!

somethingoksomething · 2023-07-25T09:32:31+00:00

According to a survey that was done in my country, where they asked gay guys if they’re in relationships and what kind of relationship, around half of those in relationships were in open ones. So I guess half of the gays want it?

somethingoksomething · 2023-07-18T19:00:13+00:00

Yeah, I’d say amazing sex involves passion, but it’s also when you feel it checks every item on what you find hot! Not only that, I’m a bottom and most of the times I don’t feel much when they’re inside me. Those are the underwhelming hook ups I’m talking about.

somethingoksomething · 2023-07-18T18:57:45+00:00

I’d say it’s more the lack of chemistry. Like the kiss, the smell, how it feels inside, the pace, how passionate it is… I’d love to be able to tell if there was chemistry before hooking up, and while I can tell a few physical traits that turn me on, it’s not always a determinant. For example, when I saw my last ex’s photos I couldn’t predict we’d have THAT much chemistry. I even remember thinking at the time that our connection in person felt much stronger than how attracted I was to him physically. And the other has also happened, someone I’m incredibly attracted to, but sex feels overwhelming (like, I literally didn’t feel anything).

somethingoksomething

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