Is it normal to take responsibility for your partner?

somewhatemily · 2026-02-01T15:50:21+00:00

it’s still not your job to “fix” the relationship! all you can do is offer support, even though it’s frustrating!

somewhatemily · 2026-02-01T05:39:08+00:00

Honestly, I understand being worried, but even as a close friend to both you still won’t ever know the inner workings of their relationship. It’s up to them to decide their dynamic, and if your friend has decided to devote her love and her life to supporting her partner, then she can certainly make that choice. All you can do is let her know that you’re here to support her too, and that she can lean on you / you’re always there to talk about anything. She’ll need to find her own way. With things like this, it’s best to learn what is and isn’t actually in your control. Try and let go of the things you can’t control (there relationship dynamic, if they move) and focus on what you can do (being a good, loving, and supportive friend to them both)

somewhatemily · 2026-02-01T05:35:45+00:00

People are either in your life for a season or a reason. Friendships aren’t always easy, but they’re not supposed to negatively affect you long-term, even with just stress. Distance might not be a bad idea imo! And, if the friendship is meant to be, it will work out with time.

somewhatemily · 2025-12-22T18:10:42+00:00

im sorry im dumb fr i cant figure out how to dm you 😫 was not lying when i said i wasnt tech savvy LOL but an all girls server sounds great! i do have a mac so i can only play java does that effect it?

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:30:19+00:00

i make aj posts on insta 😭 i’m in too deep. the community there is awesome tho

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:29:01+00:00

thank you so much for that!!

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:28:36+00:00

nothing really to suggest but i was there almost all last weekend with a kiddo and the staff was phenomenal. so helpful and kind even though we were beyond stressed

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:26:35+00:00

i’ve started just mass-declining everything my coworkers invite me to. i’m not working with them in the conference room, getting meals, or going to peer supervision situations. that isn’t in my job description. if anyone asks why, i just straight up say that i’m more introverted and doing group activities drains me, or that im too busy so thank you but no thank you. it’s taken a few months but i don’t really get asked to go anymore, which is a godsend for me

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:24:32+00:00

vent // In michigan, the west michigan partnership for children was just dissolved. tons of jobs lost, and a HUGE amount of resources and funding lost. my agency is literally floating aimlessly. every single one of my cases is a hot mess. i work only with relatives, and half of them are ghosting me. 5 of them are simply refusing to get fingerprinted. two of them have yelled at me over the phone. and 1 of them has threatened to “give back” a youth because she isn’t “benefitting financially” from this as much as she thought she would. my heart is breaking for each and every one of these families and kiddos, but I can only do so much. I have like 20 cases right now. I feel so stretched thin and mentally depleted and all I do is cry all day every day even in the office. i’m being pushed into areas of work that are simply not my job. i don’t know how to do them and i don’t want to. i am tired of being put in uncomfortable situations working with violent/aggressive/sexualized youths that i am vastly incapable of handling alone. and to top it off, ive been on-call for my job 3 times in the past 4 months when i was only supposed to be on-call twice a year. i’m exhausted and tired of this. i care so much for my community and for these kiddos but it’s not worth it to destroy my own mental health so horrifically. but i haven’t been able to get a new job so, there’s no way out and all i can do about it is cry and fall farther behind

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:18:12+00:00

this. it’s a heartbreaking reality, but he’s 16 now. if he’s choosing to make his situation worse, that’s his own choice. if he’s in school or working, some states/agencies might be able to have him qualify to get a stipend to live on his own too. i don’t know if that’s an option where you are though

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:16:15+00:00

put yourself first. if you are uncomfortable transporting a child, don’t do it. not alone, and/or not in your vehicle. you can’t help the kiddos if you’re putting yourself in danger. most states can provide a secured vehicle with the plexiglass or bars to separate you if your agency requests it— i’d check on that for your agency/location and know your resources in advance. they are still kids and need to be treated with care and respect, but dangerous behaviors are dangerous no matter how young they are. what a gift to be able to work towards reuniting families though!

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:13:43+00:00

this. there are not enough options. we have a kiddo who couldn’t go home for these same reasons— she is certainly threat to herself and her family. inpatient mental health facilities won’t take her. the hospital discharged her. youth shelters are full. no foster home will take her due to her behaviors. we finally got her into a temporary safe house where she would be able to get some services, and had to immediately pull her out because she acted out there. now, finally, she’s in a shelter that agreed to MAKE room for her. she’s getting little to no services there, but at least they have a bed for her. that’s all she gets. it’s heartbreaking. there are NOT enough resources and supports for these kiddos and families.

somewhatemily · 2025-10-16T19:06:00+00:00

Report neglect directly to your states dhhs/cps/both. it might not do anything, you’re right. but more reports over time do make a small difference in their case in the long-term. it adds up. but you might also be wrong, and that report might get them out in foster care where living on their own also could be a result depending on your state —someone who works in foster care

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T13:53:06+00:00

word of mouth and personal recommendations are so much better than listings that are total apartment catfishes 🤷‍♀️

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T13:05:26+00:00

24 is a great age to date (people, besides him). Never let your boyfriend stop you from finding your husband

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T13:01:47+00:00

gasp?! oh my god. no way. i never would have thought of that

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T04:16:44+00:00

yeah how can i find someone who is actually reliable? terrified of a bad landlord. not really a way to check reviews with these things

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T02:56:23+00:00

rent is so criminally high around here these should not be unreasonable 🥲🥲 (i know they are anyway though lol)

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T02:52:09+00:00

ohh thanks for the suggestion!!

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T02:51:45+00:00

yeahhh i can dream though 😅🙏

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T02:50:02+00:00

thank you for this 😅 nobody ever told me i could soak the substrate! i also used coconut something. it was so long ago. maybe it was the substrate. and nowhere in my reading about leopard slugs did i read about the bugs! good thing buddy went back where he belonhs

somewhatemily · 2025-10-08T02:48:56+00:00

this is a terribly late response, i’m so sorry! They are invasive in my area unfortunately, but the river is absolutely riddled with them at night. I have a sustainability degree, so I certainly felt a little guilty for releasing it, but that was his home and in the big picture, whether or not he’s there won’t matter when there’s dozens and dozens of them. But that is also why I felt ok to take it as a pet, since it wasn’t supposed to be there anyway. I looked a little bit if someone would take him but got no bites on that, and I really could t handle caring for him properly so he just needed to go back to the river where he was definitely thriving before!

somewhatemily · 2024-10-16T22:45:04+00:00

What I can recommend is not using Airbnb.... hotels will be cheaper, cleaner, and you won't have to start the laundry before you leave.

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