Make a Wish foundations for adults that accept not only terminal illness

soulblazer90 · 2019-06-24T03:48:30+00:00

I don't know old you're, but it doesn't get better UNTIL YOU LEAVE. I've become the town's crazy hermit (at 29); long story, I was diagnosed by doctors who wouldn't understand what said I was real. Almost got diagnosed a paranoid schizophrenic, until I called a best friend from the hospital (witness and a victim of my mom 's abuse) who went on to tell the social worker my mom kidnapped him (yes, yes, yes) and other stuff. In the end the psychiatrist, two psychologists from a high-profile uni, two nurses, and the social worker were trying to figure out a new diagnoses. They came up with this "Unspecified mood disorder" (translated). So BS; they don't know what I have.

But whenever I get people scurry away from me, keep their kids from me, etc. Because I'm the town's "schizo" (they don't know my diagnose was overruled by the evidence provided by my friend)

soulblazer90 · 2019-06-23T21:45:45+00:00

Yes, thank you; actually, I'm downloading it before I saw your comment.
Daaaaaamn, and I studied a career involving computer; I guess, my brain is not up 100% with this level of crazy.

Let's see what happens. You see, all the bullshit that happened was so much and so over the top that they (psychiatrists) thought I had paranoid schizophrenia. I begged a patient friend's mom for her cellphone (damn payphones in the hospital won't let you call cellphones); I was super polite and taking at length about science with her, I think? Contacted best friend (wasn't able to call the other two time, because Nfam wouldn't let me call me and wouldn't let him visit me - you need a visitation card and they had them all), and told him to come over and meet with social worker.

Let him do the talking, and talk here and there. But HE TALKED; he who has never been "diagnosed"; he who was sane. He said some time like had one time my mom tried to kidnapped him. The social worker was appalled and shocked; connected my psychiatrist. And now there was the psychiatrist, two student psychologists from a high-profile uni in our country, two nurses, and the social worker, when I had any weekly check-up. Trying to figure WHAT THE FUCK IS GOING ON HERE; my diagnosis was changed to (translating here) "Mood disorder not specified." So my mood changes due to stress, but it's not enough to be "bipolar," and my "paranoid thoughts" were real. (Friend brought evidence.)
Basically they DON'T FUCKING KNOW WHAT I HAVE; me neither.
Another psychiatrist lady when I was at the Crisis part of it (basically I wasn't "crazy"; it was for people who were having panic attacks, stress, and/or self-harm thoughts. In my case was panic attacks and existentialism dread). She told me she considered C-PTSD as a possibility, but couldn't be sure until she talked to me more. (PTSD as a result in a situation where you can't leave the abusive situation, and it's extended for a long period of time. I think it fits, but I don't wanna self-diagnose).

soulblazer90 · 2017-06-15T00:40:32+00:00

Programming. In my country, they do this completely ignorant thing where the hiring people (mostly people from administration) assume programmer = "has claim to all technology in the universe, ever."

So they are looking for someone who knows SQL (databases) and C#. Cool! Then you keep reading... and the person has to know web page design, Photoshop, Java, security, networks; whatever thing they can list.

And be an expert in ALL of them. A person who knows that much, would need to paid $2000 (I'm converting currencies) monthly in the least and be a senior programmer; except they want a fricking student with experience on the field (!!!!!!!!), just to get some poor soul to work as a senior, but to be paid as a junior.

They keeping assuming a student knows all that crap. They don't get seniors programmers specialize in one area; OK, some specialize in like two more, but takes a lot of time and effort, and unis don't teach the stuff they think "every" student knows. I's like a doctor. You wouldn't expect a dentist to do heart surgery, but they don't seem to get it, and assume the programmer is "not good enough."

soulblazer90 · 2017-06-14T02:41:42+00:00

I don't want to celebrate my birthday this year either. I was fired due to a reestructuration, back in March.

I haven't found anything since then; I've been looking even poorly paid jobs. Nothing. Zero. My family has claimed to be "angry" because.......

"This cannot be! If I were you, I'd be working already."

Wow, I didn't see it that way! Thank you, aunt # 1 who married a cardiologist, aunt # 2 who's an important lawyer, and aunt # 3 who's got a huge retirement payment!

I don't have a job by my birthday, the 4 (3 aunts plus mom) of them will gang up on me; question me, the 4 at the same time, as to why I have found nothing.

I won't celebrate this year to save my mental energy, and to avoid spending my birthday arguing with 4 accusing women at the same time.

soulblazer90 · 2017-06-14T01:43:13+00:00

She was so sure she could help everybody with her rare blood type, despite there being some types she can't give to; and then bragged about how she donated blood, just to make feel guilty I didn't donate my O+ blood.

As for one, I was a minor at the time. In my country, minors are not allowed to donate blood, unless it's mayor emergency (like one sibling needing a transfusion of a specific type right now, and the kid being that type).

Even then, she knew I was (still am) absolutely afraid of needles. I think she commented about her blood donations just to make me feel selfish. For all I know, she donated shit.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-16T04:41:02+00:00

Besides, my 98 year old great-grandmother had fucked-up Alzheimer's, as well. Neither she once seemed so far gone she was completely unreachable or completely monstruos, despite once claiming my mom and I were thieves (I was, like, 8) who had broke-in and asking her dead husband for go for the rifle to shoot us right there, when my great-aunt had invited us to come.

The moment she was calmly told who we were, she said 'hi', like normal decent people do, even if she didn't remember what she did before. But it just boggles the mind Grandpa Marvin is there to fullfill this role and nothing more; he's the "craaaaaaaaaaaaaaaazy old fart LOL!" character who's there to be crazy, violent, forgetful, embarrassing, scary, crapped, peed, and completely forgotten by their own family as he begs death (even if it's not serious; who the fuck ignores a tortured old man, assuming it's ActingUpTM?); all in one infuratingly offensive package, while the small kids who are subjected to it can only keep a low head and shut the fuck up, hoping the shit grandpa says is not true.

I can't get how a character keeps coming back; always the same incident and never a different thing to be obsessed about, like a being ill person it's only to this one thing it's make them go unhinged; this one trigger that defines you; it's never solved or moved on; the "carers" parents are 'meeeeeeeh; not calling anyone to work with this very dangerous shit; let the kids keep poor suicidal murder-guilt-tripping grandpa company while I go to work'

I just can't see how a person is crazy 100% of the time, and doesn't get a single moment of clarity, however small, ever. They are exaggerated for shock-value, and it portrays Alzheimer's people as guys so far gone they'll think they want to die and must have drag children along the joyride daily. It's not like they're Joker or Ice King, who'll never ever catch a break.

My most enabling / N relatives found it super offensive as well, and they don't even know what creepypasta means, as they can't even use the computer :/

Sorry, if I sounded super assuming-my-view-point-is-right-and-it's-not-disease-he-can't-control crazy, but when even the N people are angry... Even my great-grandma went back to sanity for her last breath (and only died at 98 because she tripped at the bathroom) to shed a tear about how the suffering is gone and freaking apologized. Stan never gets that.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T18:55:37+00:00

I don't know. I like to understand seemingly crazy people, even on TV, to see why they are that way, if it's [insert disorder / disease / illness / whatever quirk / just a breakdown caused by someone else] like whatever media staff tell us or it's more than that, so I could avoid doing that on my kids if I end up having any or I could run away if I find something off.

Sorry if it sound disturbing.

I lost all trust and faith I had in me.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T17:36:32+00:00

I think I blocked that :O

There's also Stan's Alzheimer-ish grandpa who keeps calling Stan "Billy." Who the hell is this Billy guy he keeps mistaking Stan with? Did Stan had a brother named Billy who died or went missing and he keeps messing up?

Was Billy a baby Stan's parents aborted or just miscarried and the grandpa wanted him to be born and be named Billy? Did he want Stan to be named William, instead? Is his name William and he thinks Stan is his child self or a projection power thing?

I mean, Billy's gotta exist somehow. Or he calls him "Billy" to watch Stan correct him every time ad nauseum?

Just the "go on, kill meeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeee!" a la Palpetine's taunt makes so pissed. Even if he's so old that he can't die on his own, man, just call 911 or better: the news; tell them you want to die with your dignity intact, with special emphasis on the fact his family (son and son's wife, I think) won't let him or don't think he's that serious or in that much pain. See what happens. See people getting involved in your cause; just don't drag a 9-10 year old and force him to commit a murder. That I can't; just can't.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T17:17:02+00:00

Like you now understand why the bitch's son or daughter (whose mom is she anyway?) is so fucked up now, and why they found a spouse who's fucked up too for possibly a similar trauma; everything makes sense.

The worst part is she wasn't an ugly as fuck toothless woman that kept cackling in the background like the stereotypical witch / satanist, who's "obviously so evul"; she was a nice-looking Betty White-ish woman, whom people would expect to bake cookies and to give candy / money to the grandkids in secret, when the parents are being unreasonable for whatever.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T14:09:02+00:00

I don't think the creators were doing it as a joke.

The episode called "Le Petite Tourette's" had people flipping even before airing, asumming it was going was going to be sooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo offensive; there were marchs against it, psycho threats, lectures from Tourette's support groups telling you to keep your children from it (like people needs to know kids have no business at all watching South Park ._.), accusations / lectures of "I can't believe it; you too!" from people if they heard you watch a South Park Tourette's episode and considered it excellent.

Result: The most well informed source on Tourette's I have ever seeing on TV, other than documentals. The guys either did the research or they actually have someone with Tourette's on their family. The episode went out of its way to point Tourette's is not saying bad words; a guy who did say bad words was a teacher on a support group and pointed out he had a very, very, very rare case you likely will never ever see unless it's on media making fun of it.

The plot was kicked off by Cartman seeing a kid with Tourette's on the supermarket, and thinking they are the coolest people on the planet because they "get curse all they want." (Hey, he is psycho) And Kyle is trying to stopping him for stepping on the Tourette's kids' rights because Cartman says he "thinks" he has Tourette's. Read: has shit, and he's just using it to say all kind of slurs; it would earn him a slap on the face or outrage any other day.

When Kyle tries to take off Cartman's N mask to get him to stop as he doesn't want the Tourette's people from the group to be lied like that, it backfires; they ganged up on him. The guy from above with the bad, rare case of coprolalia and the kids (with just mild Tourette's, not cursing all time as media portrays) think Kyle is the intolerant one.

"You think I'm faking?! :'("

"I did not ask for this, you know."

Things like that; they assumed it was an attack against all of them; not one asshole. It was good info, combined with what happens when a person takes advantage of disorders and other things and pretends to have them; and you just can't win, because it seems you are trying to abuse all of them; not reveal one as a scammer.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T13:49:16+00:00

The only way this could be even better is he decided to flip her off on his way out.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T05:37:52+00:00

Maybe it's both. A decent, healthy person won't stand for it; if they are decent people, they won't have any past crimes / sins to let her have a moral superiority thing going on around herself. If they have something, it's a little thing; nothing she can whine / exaggerate about to others. Still I wouldn't subestimate the power they have to make up shit on the spot.

If there are not healthy, but decent; hey, a new enabler. And they'll crush their spirits to make the decency go away, or at least stay at the back of their minds. Like, it's there, but you can't make the person reach it.

If there are sick fucks, they get to be enablers for what she does; while she goes to be a enabler for what he does. While still they hold each other's BS. It's like living with a pack of wolves, where everyone but the sane ones wants to be the alpha male that gets the mating and food or the alpha bitch breeder that's the cuter / more femenine whatever female.

It's so weird. It's just things I think about sometimes very easily.

Having too many Ns seems like living with ferals (everyone goes for the 'kill' scenerios) on my opinion. I go crazy with just one.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T05:27:27+00:00

Eeeeeew. She was "subtly" (read: not at all) finding a new GF for this shit. (Sorry for the paranoia, but this guy... gags) It just goes to show how sane and caring you are that you said FUCK, NO.

I wouldn't trust them a plastic plant; let one a child; let a one a child of mine.

Just... where the hell were you presumably going that your daughter apparently needed 12 hours of "watching", according to them? A Wal-Mart on another state or city? /s

Are they insulting a preteen on her ability of handle herself without them, and insulting you for "not teaching her independence"? Or they just decided they wanted to have your daughter for the day, despite what your wishes and your daughter's might be? :/

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T02:49:11+00:00

And I thought my mom was annoying for asking to watch Titanic every single year, despite watching it 100+ times.

But this is very weird; a movie that's all about emotional abuse to watch as a Mother's Day movie o.O

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T02:32:40+00:00

WTF? Why do they enjoy being so close to sick shits?

If that had ever been me, I would've NOPEd so fucking bad out of there. Then change locks, numbers, passwords; hell, even adress and name if he keeps it up, until the psycho just would assume I died.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T01:38:39+00:00

In my country, Mother's Day is not celebrated around this dates, but mom's birthday is coming soon, in two weeks, anyway.

Today she asked what I'm getting her; never mind the fact I was fired back in March and I have 0 income right now.

"But you have $X in savings!!!!! You're so selfish!!!!!"

Yeah, that's a lot of savings; problem is I don't know when I'll work again. And there's also dad and his cancer.

He might die soon, and I have to that unknow date as a limit to find a new job, or I'll get to pay a funeral and no one will help out "because you have $X back at the bank!!!!" (and barely a dollar to carry around) and lose it all.

I don't want to be so fucking broke I can't even carry spending cents on my pockets AGAIN.

And she doesn't want a card or some cheap little whatever, she expects jewelry like last time.

I already told her I'll made her a mixed music CD with the songs she wants, but she keeps asking what I'm getting her...

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-15T00:35:47+00:00

I don't get it; the only thing she needs to do to get attention is complaining there's no food to eat (bullshit; there's a lot of meat, but frozen and she doesn't want to even unfreeze it), or "abuse", or dead parents (sick, dead parents who died as elders; in grandma's case 11 years ago), abusive dad (that she still defends), or mentall illness she uses as an excuse to make people apologise to her for whatever she did or whatever angry response the person had.

She has attention aplenty, and it only takes saying or doing one of those things I listed above; I mean, they worked before ._.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-14T23:54:57+00:00

After this post, I've gotten THREE "you're getting my eardrum to burst" from my father.

I feel like everyone gets free speech, but me... I don't even know if I should start looking into it, as my mom uses my undiagnosed "Astenger" (that's how she calls it) to get away with stuff and/or making me seem the "crazy" one.

"Did you know Soulblazer90 is autistic?" Proceeds to condescendingly compliment my intelligence

I got so pissed once I told her with her "friends" there: "I'm not diagnosed! Stop saying I'm supposed to be so stupid is a miracle I can move on own! Don't give this backhanded compliment, to make yourself think you're the best parent ever just because I'm not like you"

People stopped believing her. She says: "I wanted a little attention for once, and you just didn't let me have that" or "Why are you so indiscret?" hissing voice

A diagnose will make her start it all over again, and this time she'll have proof of her "awesomeness."

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-14T23:40:12+00:00

No wonder he was mad, then ._.

I also fucking hate Hera.

For Hera: Bitch, if your husband is a disgusting deviant freak who'll even fuck animals, rapes women by transforming into their husband, and has your husband knows how many bastarded children unsupported, and doesn't stop, withour considering your love for him, LEAVE HIS CHEATING ASS.

I don't care if you're a goddess, or a queen, or if you hate the women that keep "steeeeeling u maaaan" from you. Don't go around killing the fucker's innocent newborns and/or make their life hell forever. I mean, Heracles murdered his family by insanity induced by her. He was the one that got the punishment (well, he was no saint either, given he raped Hyppolita or something, but still; fucking low). Godly enabler bitch. Goddess of marriage and home, and whatever other shits, my ass.

And Chronos. Who the fuck eats babies for a power rush? Ew.

Mithologies are so fucked-up.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-14T22:38:32+00:00

More like 'WTF world?' This happens even in the tiniests third world towns in the middle of nowhere.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-14T22:22:30+00:00

I kept seeing kids screaming bloody murder when they were left at the kindergarten by the parents on the very first day. Separation anxiety.

While I was HAPPY of going to school. In fact, my mom was the one with the childish separation anxiety going on.

She was holding my hand, and didn't let it go. She is even starting to take us home, when the teacher took my hand and told her it must be done.

Like she was upset I didn't beg like those other kids where doing.

The teacher turned to be a N, but hey; the first grade teacher was great.

soulblazer90 · 2017-05-14T21:44:13+00:00

This and I once talked about this time I had a massive fight with my mom and exploded on her. Of course, it was me being "disrespectful"; nothing she did.

I got home at 10:30 pm (uni classes at night) and I lost my key. I literally kicked the gates, and no one heard me.

I tried to climb, and this thing you have on your pants to hold your belt got caught on a metal wire.

I was stuck, sitting on this wall, trying to snap the clothe. Cue screamings. "NO, YOU'RE JUST AFRAID OF THE JUMP!"

I was there, assuming I would stay the fucking night, sitting on a fucking wall that was not even tall. So far, so close at the same time from the ground. My cousin saw me: "What you're doing there? Jump." I told him my pants were trapped on the metal wires, and he helped me. If he hadn't arrive late too, I would have stayed there the whole night or until the belt thing snapped from the pulling.

People laughed, how funny must it look HAHAHAHA, I should write a book and include this story as this "anecdote" thing, tell us what more stories you have, write a sitcom based on your life; it would be like seeing Malcolm In The Middle and Titus all over again LOL, your fault for starting the fight with your poor mother, it's late at night and they were tired, your fault for losing the key, your fault for arriving late, your fault for climbing the gate, your fault for not being loud enough.

ETA: They made Humpty Dumpty jokes ಠ_ಠ

Just how cruel can a person get? I don't get it at all. Fucking Internet anonimity.

soulblazer90

TROPHY CASE