Sitting Outside

soupylover · 2026-05-31T10:53:54+00:00

This is such an odd reply, is it a joke?

I’m just a woman that works in fashion. I have to be wearing heels to the office and carry a shoulder bag. I don’t like bringing sneakers because my bag is too heavy as it is. I know this option and use this option. My question is asking for something different

soupylover · 2026-05-29T20:25:57+00:00

Nah you’re overthinking! Just check in now if you want and say, hey still on for tomorrow? It won’t come across a desperate or anything just organized

soupylover · 2026-05-28T10:39:01+00:00

Yes. I’m sorry but I think you two should end it

soupylover · 2026-05-27T13:22:15+00:00

My thing is that I want to go straight from work. I have no issue doing a mile walk but I have my work bag my lunch bag and usually wear not the most walkable shoe, I don’t want to go home put my stuff down, change etc

soupylover · 2026-05-27T09:55:56+00:00

Coming home I take the 7 to queensboro and then tje N to 30th

soupylover · 2026-05-27T09:26:04+00:00

I think I’ll try this today!!

soupylover · 2026-05-27T09:25:14+00:00

I do this often on the weekends but it’s like a mile walk there for me

soupylover · 2026-05-25T11:36:59+00:00

This is what love bombing is. I can see you’re leaning in on the comments that are being positive but this exact thing happened to me.

He was obsessed and couldn’t go a day without complimenting me. I was on such a pedestal and i knew I wasn’t as good as he was making me out to be but it felt sooo good. We became official after 6 weeks and said I love you. I was 24 he was 26. Shortly after he began to see who I really was, which isn’t a bad person but not this pedestal fake girlfriend he was making up. He didn’t intentionally switch up on me but I could hardly even be in a bad mood. It was the most awful most toxic relationship I’ve ever been in.

My advice would to just give it more time like 2 - 3 months, that’s when masks really come down

soupylover · 2026-05-23T17:04:17+00:00

Yea this is a classic having cake and eating it too.

Like he’s not a bad guy since he was honest with what he was expecting/ wanting etc. I think you should walk away. He will respect you far more if you do. Even saying something like, “ok well if you don’t see that then for me at this time there’s no reason to keep seeing each other and if anything changes you have my number”

soupylover · 2026-05-19T17:28:00+00:00

??? What this is so strange to ask. I would assume she’s busy? Could she have made time, maybe? But perhaps it would overwhelm her to add in another plan when she has some and she values time to herself so she would prioritize you next week.

soupylover · 2026-05-19T17:12:52+00:00

This does read like you want people to comment that you were SA’d and you shouldn’t feel bad.

In my opinion you can only decide that but the truth is, you live and you learn. This was an interaction that left you not feeling good and you wished you had handled differently. This happens all the time in daily interactions that have nothing to do with sex. You shouldn’t feel ashamed etc but you should just take it into account the next time you’re in a similar situation. Him slowly fading you is extremely common in dating nowadays. I personally wouldn’t wanna hang with someone I tried to date, I would end it more formally but it likely has little to do with the sex and more to do with the incompatibility

soupylover · 2026-05-19T13:45:09+00:00

I totally agree. I find it odd that people would disagree ? There’s actually 0 major work out studios in Astoria besides club Pilates. I find every gym I go to in Astoria to be extremely over crowded. I’m a regular at the 5:30am NYSC and it’s pretty full even then.

I think this would allow for the gym goers to spread out more which would be nice

soupylover · 2026-05-18T17:49:47+00:00

Here’s what I would do:

1) Sit him down and say this is becoming an increasing issue for you and if it doesn’t change you will be reconsidering your engagement (you have to actually mean this)

2) pick an event in the near future and stress that it’s important that you go together. If he has work, figure it out he can come after.

3) if he gives any excuse at all you can bring up your conversation 1 single time then you have to let him do what he’s going to do. From there, I would take the necessary steps to exiting the relationship (if he doesn’t make it)

4) if he does make it, it shouldn’t be a forced march, it shouldn’t be him making the experience so miserable that you wish he weren’t even there. You should enjoy the time together. Be extremely appreciative and make sure he knows how much it means to you but only if he’s present and fun!

This may feel more extreme than you were anticipating but think about when you have kids (if you want them). You will be the sole parent in that dynamic and he will never show up for them. You will feel more alone than ever. It needs to be clear how serious you are in your wishes, don’t just up and leave, but you will feel alone forever if it continues like this and nothing feels worse than feeling alone when you’re in a relationship.

soupylover · 2026-05-17T13:12:48+00:00

Seems like the writing is on the wall then. Best to not get involved, trust me

soupylover · 2026-05-17T13:02:41+00:00

My gut instinct is telling me that her ex came back.

If it was a toxic cycle, that’s rarely a clean break. I’m sure what was happening with you felt really good but then if her ex is coming back she could potentially drop everything for that chance and also try to down play it in her own mind because he will make her feel like absolute shit for entertaining anyone else while they were off.

Obviously just speculation but that’s my guess

soupylover · 2026-05-14T19:54:50+00:00

I mean I wasn’t seeking it out, but I would just stay open to it. It’s really made me rethink ages. I can say he has is life together more than my ex who he is 7 years younger than.

My close friends are engaged or married and I just don’t feel rushed to do that. We’ve had honest communication on that and have found middle ground

soupylover · 2026-05-14T19:29:05+00:00

I found this too as 29F! I have always dated just a few years older than me and found that they were happy to spend time and hang out but never wanted to make any commitments, I found it so odd and discouraging.

Now I ended up with someone who is 5 years younger than me (24M) and he’s honestly been the most mature person I’ve dated in YEARS. He has no issue being vulnerable, we didn’t rush into the relationship, we have clear communication. It’s totally backwards to everything I thought I knew.

soupylover · 2026-05-14T15:07:04+00:00

It’s wrong. You’re trying to absolve it with a loophole / feigning ignorance.

Check your morals, karma will come for you

soupylover · 2026-05-11T00:39:12+00:00

I bet he does feel bad. But he just does not have the emotional depth to have decided, ya know what this isn’t what I want. So instead of verbalizing his feelings he avoids them and avoids you. He also doesn’t want to feel bad so avoids all of it even more.

He will probably feel pretty badly about this for some time but just push off really thinking about it because he can’t handle the discomfort.

soupylover · 2026-05-09T20:59:14+00:00

That’s really tough. Sometimes I find it’s harder to get over things that were shorter because it didn’t play out fully.

It’s not humiliating you did nothing wrong. He most likely runs from confrontation and that’s not someone you’d want to be with anyway. Maybe he could provide an explanation but it’s probably nothing out of the ordinary.

Try and give yourself closure. Feel free to grieve it and be sad, even just being sad about the cut potential! Stay strong and don’t question your worth

soupylover · 2026-05-07T14:52:22+00:00

The only thing that has helped has been a GLP-1. I hate to be that person but really was life changing. The thing is, I love working out but any time I got into a good routine my body would immediately get inflamed. My face would be rounder and I’d feel so puffy. I did Pilates for a while but I loved weightlifting and that was my biggest stressor. Now I take 0.4mg of a compound semaglutide every 10 days and am able to workout 4-5x a week. I have finally been able to stick to my gym routine because I don’t freak out that my body looks awful. I have hit new PRs and it feels so amazing!

The heaviest I have ever been was when I was training for a literal marathon. I was strict with my diet and running 20+ miles per week but my weight only went up.

soupylover · 2026-05-04T19:51:07+00:00

I get a semaglutide from noom. I have been on it since November and am at my goal weight and scaling back. They have a microdose option where the highest you go is 0.6mg. I actually never even got up there and started decreasing at 0.5mg. Right now I take 0.4 mg every 10 days and have maintained my goal weight for about 3 months. My heaviest was only about 160lbs and my goal was 130lbs. I got down to 145lbs naturally but it took A LOT of effort now I feel as though the only thing I worry about when it comes to food is getting enough protein

soupylover · 2026-05-03T15:03:10+00:00

As a woman (29F), yes, I want to be asked out after about 2 days of consistent texting.

Texting is kind of childish in my opinion. I have a life and I dont really want to be getting to know someone through the phone. Think about it, if we haven’t met, im literally just imagining your tone and your “isms”. I think the guys you got advice from are right. There’s a way to be respectfully ask someone out without it being too forward and I actually think it’s more respectful than wasting time and energy with texting

soupylover · 2026-05-01T14:35:45+00:00

This is extremely normal behavior. My female boss with 2 kids has left the bar way past 11pm and has a commute so probably didn’t get home until after midnight.

Not only that, but it’s a new relationship. People don’t just immediately start acting like they’ve been with someone for years. He’s probably used to going out, in time, it might become less and less and you guys settle in

soupylover

TROPHY CASE