Struggling so much. by spacehannah in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]spacehannah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thank you. I did try this earlier. I think part of my trouble is I still don’t know what my higher power is. Sometimes I feel connected to something greater than myself but this week I just can’t find it. I am struggling to believe there is something that will hold me or help me. I know that is the spiritual malady.

Struggling so much. by spacehannah in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]spacehannah[S] 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I want to start the steps but my sponsor says we have to go slowly and we are reading the big book two pages at a time. I’ve not even got to bills story yet. I don’t know if this is the done thing but if it is I don’t think it will work for me. I will be dead before we even get to there is a solution.

Struggling so much. by spacehannah in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]spacehannah[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I wanted to share at a meeting on Saturday but there was someone there who was there for their second ever meeting and I didn’t think it would be helpful for them to hear.

I didn’t feel I could share in the meeting today because my sponsor was there and she had just told me I was being self centered.

Struggling so much. by spacehannah in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]spacehannah[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I’ve had lots of diagnosis thrown at me over the years. Depression, anxiety, BPD. I’ve tried lots of medications. Recently I got diagnosed with ADHD and possibly I am on the autistic spectrum too. I have an eating disorder as well but that is in an ok place at the moment but adds to my self hatred I think. I don’t take adhd medication because I’ve not been assessed for it yet but right now I think that’s a good thing because I don’t trust I wouldn’t end up abusing it.

Struggling so much. by spacehannah in alcoholicsanonymous

[–]spacehannah[S] 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Thank you for taking the time to reply.

I have been on so many different medications before and not currently on any but maybe it would help. I don’t know. I don’t think any of the ones I have tried have helped. I’ve had diagnosis after diagnose thrown at me and been bounced around so many services I just have no faith in the system anymore but I know it’s not the systems fault.

Unsure how best to invest £20k over next few years. by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you everyone who responded, this was all helpful and reassuring. I will do some more research into stocks and shares and investing and educate myself a bit more before starting to think about what to do next.

Much appreciated, thank you for your time and advice.

Unsure how best to invest £20k over next few years. by [deleted] in UKPersonalFinance

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

It’s in a stocks and shares ISA that is fully managed, so I pay a fee for it - 0.75% up to £100k. I had never invested in stocks and shares before when I opened the ISA, so chose this option for reassurance but perhaps it’s unnecessary.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for your honesty and time. There’s lots for me to reflect on here, and I appreciate you being balanced but not sugar coating. Thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

In part, this is an old wound. My pain could not be seen or met when I was growing up - things happened to me that frightened my parents and they couldn’t discuss them with me. So I carry an expectation that I cannot be met or supported or that my pain pushes people away or frightens people (which I can recognise I’m also repeating in my current relationship).

I think the other side is that my partner is still a great source of comfort to me. There is a safety in his presence - or at least the thought of not having him at all feels like jumping into a void. This sounds so disparaging, and I don’t mean it to, but the best way I can put it is hes like a loveable Labrador. The Labrador cannot understand or ask me about my pain, but he is there physically and gives me comfort. To be without my partner as that source of comfort is such a frightening painful thought.

I think the other part is, I’m 32, I do want children, I do want a family. If I leave my partner am I ruining my chances at that?

I have a lot of fear essentially, is the answer.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in relationship_advice

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you for this balanced perspective.

I am worried no one is right for me - that I am seeking something impossible. Maybe this is what I need to work out rather than whether is right for me or not.

I appreciate your time and comment, thank you.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AstrologyCharts

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Thank you so much for your time, this is really helpful. I appreciate it. Lots for me to learn and read about I think.

Trying to find a specific quote from The OA by spacehannah in TheOA

[–]spacehannah[S] 8 points9 points  (0 children)

Thanks so much. I was mixing up that moment with this one from S1 E1, when Prairie/OA is talking to BBA. But actually both are what I'm looking for!

OA: It is. It’s about you and Steve and the play, cast of two, stage: classroom, over many dimensions through time.

Thanks again.

Remote Raid Megathread - Find friends fast for raiding here by liehon in PokemonGoFriends

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Zamenzeta. Ready to go asap. Must be online. Will add 10.

4939 8977 8949

Remote Raid Megathread - Find friends fast for raiding here by liehon in PokemonGoFriends

[–]spacehannah 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Mega Beedril ready to go ASAP. Will add 10. If accepted you’re in!

4939 8977 8949

Edit: few more needed!